I have a Sam, which is potentially better than a ladder because I can accidentally put my foot in your face for making me scrub dicks off the wall. Kill two birds with one stone.

[ The foot in the face has been added to dissuade Sam from testing the scenario. They don't need phallic scribbles. It's not up for debate. ]

I can touch the ceiling in a vertical jump. I can scrub the ceiling from the ground with the right tools, or by standing on at least 5 things in the room. Six, counting you.