voice | un: vsmith

[banworthy]

Hello.

How are you all doing? [ A beat. ] Actually, you all know I don't care so let's ignore that question, hm?

So, who would like to have their fortune, romantic future, or whatever told?

I know, I know... tarot is still a [ Longer pause. ] hobby of mine, but one you get to reap the rewards of today.

Fun, right?

Comments

[banworthy]

[ Makes some strained gurgling noise in the back of his throat. ]

You're upset because you almost kissed someone? Why are your problems so irritating?

LMFAO I love Vincent so much

[bootyshortsforoldmen]

You ever loved someone, Vinny?

Something tells me no.

LMAO THANK YOU

[banworthy]

Oh my -- are you twelve?! Are you a teenager?

Who cares?! Just kiss them, you obnoxious drunk!

[bootyshortsforoldmen]

If you consider fifties close, then — yeah. Pretty damn close.

I care, you weirdo. Shouldn’t be surprised you’d be fine kissing random people, considering you got a thing for wearing people’s body parts round your damn neck.

[banworthy]

I have no desire to kiss anyone to be perfectly honest, which I always am with you.

You care about what? Huh? The people next to you may be gone the next day and then you get to blubber and be sad you did nothing, hm? [ Lord who intends to set fire to the living, please save him first. ]

[bootyshortsforoldmen]

So you’d rather I go ahead and make someone uncomfortable as fuck in the meantime, yeah? Just go ahead and ruin a relationship?

That the wise Vinny’s advice here?

[banworthy]

Why are you overthinking this? Why are you making this weird?

Do all people treat relationships like this?

[ JESUS! He won't take his god's name in vain but he'll take someone else's. ]

[bootyshortsforoldmen]

Why am I… why am I?!

Yeah. It’s me. You’re right. I’m the weird guy here.

Yes. People usually think about smacking mouths with someone before they go and do it, yeah, especially if shit is unrequited. Jesus.

You ever fall for someone, I’m gonna laugh my ass off.

[banworthy]

I will set myself on fire if I fall for anyone.

Unrequited? Were you drunk and trying to kiss them?

[ Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. ]

Hank.

[bootyshortsforoldmen]

I wasn’t drunk. I’m not that fucking stupid.

Do you just… think me being sober makes it okay? What the fuck is this conversation? Shit. Forget I said anything.

Gonna hold you to that “set yourself on fire” thing. I’m gonna, Vinny.

[banworthy]

Yes, I think it makes it okay.

It means -- [ Ugh! ] I no longer care about your relationship problems which sounds like emotional constipation.

I'm sorry or happy for you finding love that doesn't love you back.

[bootyshortsforoldmen]

You’re the one who asked for me to do your little confession thing, so — enjoy the burden. Heh heh.

Thanks, Vin. I’ll be sure to keep you posted, since you seem to enjoy it so much.

[ Kind of a comfort to annoy Vincent like this, honestly. ]

[banworthy]

I truly regret offering my services to you.

LFMAO

[bootyshortsforoldmen]

That’s what you get for calling Con a “thing,” Vinny. That’s what you get.

[banworthy]

[ Ugh. ]