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un: vdova | video
[Enter: cute blonde woman on your feed. She has an vibrant energy about her.]
Helloooo! [She gives the camera a short wave. Her Russian accent shines through in her words clearly.] Some of you may already know me, but for those who don’t: I am Yelena. And given the circumstances of these “missions” [Yes, she did just make air quotes with her fingers as she said that word.] I would like to offer to anyone who wants it either—
[She ticks options off on her fingers as she goes—] A sparring partner, for people who already know how to fight OR—
Lessons for those of you who either [She lifts her hands and teeters them like a see-saw.] don’t know how, could use improvement or need to learn basic self defense.
[Her hands drop back to rest in her lap.] Anyway— I wasn’t sure if something like this has already been started sooo… let me know your thoughts, I guess?!
[Though technically a good age bracket for it, Yelena did not grow up with social media as a part of her everyday so her ending comes a little awkward and abrupt with another quick wave and an even quicker— ] Bye!
Helloooo! [She gives the camera a short wave. Her Russian accent shines through in her words clearly.] Some of you may already know me, but for those who don’t: I am Yelena. And given the circumstances of these “missions” [Yes, she did just make air quotes with her fingers as she said that word.] I would like to offer to anyone who wants it either—
[She ticks options off on her fingers as she goes—] A sparring partner, for people who already know how to fight OR—
Lessons for those of you who either [She lifts her hands and teeters them like a see-saw.] don’t know how, could use improvement or need to learn basic self defense.
[Her hands drop back to rest in her lap.] Anyway— I wasn’t sure if something like this has already been started sooo… let me know your thoughts, I guess?!
[Though technically a good age bracket for it, Yelena did not grow up with social media as a part of her everyday so her ending comes a little awkward and abrupt with another quick wave and an even quicker— ] Bye!
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[There's laughter, because Natasha loves it, loves this. The ability to have someone around that's close to her, that she never had walls against is absolutely new for her, and yet it's suddenly a reality. There's an undeniable bond that she has with Yelena. They haven't let one another get very far since finding one another. In this place there's no reason to, and there's no reason to even live apart. ]
Obviously. Good. Let me know when this thing is happening then, yes?
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[She's glad that they've been on the same page about it all so far; Yelena is perfectly aware that won't last forever. Natasha will get bored and want to venture off, and Yelena won't be able to begrudge her that. But for now, she's just going to make sure nothing happens to take her sister away from her again.]
Of course. I will text you details later. If there is anyone you want to invite, I don't mind. [She pauses for a moment then tilts her head a little, lips pursed in thought.]
You know, there is a Clint Barton here. He's not the one you knew, I don't think, but... [She gives a bit of a facial shrug.] close enough, maybe?
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[Right now there's a lot of things that Natasha's unsure about and after having all the doubts thrown in her mind from the doll, it is a good thing to have Yelena around to lift her spirits and remind her of the better things she's done. It also takes her mind off the last thing that happened before she ended up here.]
I- Um, No. He is not close enough. He's not even in the same arena of close enough. He and I don't communicate well. I -
[There's a long sigh on her part, and she runs her fingers through her hair. It's not her proudest moment, one she doesn't want to admit to or really talk about, but if not with Yelena, then who.]
He was the first person I spoke with after... well, when I got here. I was reeling. I'd just left, him. I'd just thrown myself off a cliff to save Clint. I know it's not what you want to hear, but I loved him enough. He has a wife, children. He was there, in my mind. To see the other Clint, they are so different, but I can see it in the eyes, but Yelena. They are SO different. I fucked up the entire discussion. I doubt he'll ever want to talk to me again. I was a mess. I'm never a mess.
[It was exceptionally difficult for Nat to admit such things, to speak her feelings with such openness, but she had just died and the entire experience had been traumatic and she didn't approach anything well, truly feeling like she'd ruined things when she'd spoken to the other Clint.]
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A slight frown etches into her features at the slightly abrupt insistence that, no, that is nowhere near her Clint Barton.] Oh- uh-
[But it seems like Natasha needs to get this out of her system, so Yelena lets her. All the while disconnecting the feed around the time she walks into the room her sister is in, in their now-shared flat. Because fuck being alone, they did that for years.]
Hey- [Wherever Natasha is sitting, she now has her baby sister pulling her into a sort of haphazard hug–– it's really more like she's hugging Natasha's head to her stomach than a real hug–– and carding her fingers in her hair.] you are not a mess, okay? No. Okay?
[It isn't the best pep talk, she'll admit, but there are so many different feelings for both of them revolving around Clint Barton. Yelena may have relented before she killed him... but there's still some bitterness there that he got to live. Wife and kids or not. Yelena is just so tired of losing.]
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It had also been tightly wrapped around the voice of the person who had spoken all that. Clint had been such a force in her life for so long that the emotional impact of what she'd done, and their relationship in comparison to the Clint she found here was a huge slap in the face. Natasha knew that she should have treated him more like a stranger, but coming straight from her death had made it near impossible. Now it felt like she'd lost Clint all over again-- even if they weren't alike in the most notable ways.
Tucking her head into her sister's stomach Natasha shook her head and sighed. She tried to swallow over the thick lump in her throat.] I - all my life I didn't have friends. You were gone. He became my very best friend, my family. I know he's not you, but I loved him in a way ... I could have ...loved him possibly, but he needed a family, children. So he was the person I knew would always back me. He didn't care what I'd done.
I know, I know I have you now. I know that. You are my heart, my dear sister. I just, I messed up. I don't mess up like this. I was so.. so damn emotional. I reacted instead of being who I was trained to be. I wasn't in control.
[Lifting her head, she laid it softly on Yelena's shoulder now. It let her run her fingers along her sister's back, along her hair, making her feel more at ease to be doing something. Until now, Nat felt like she'd been too long stumbling in the dark. The blip had taken a lot out of her, and in giving her life she thought she'd done the greatest thing. This world-- this was not in her plans. ]
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It stings for her to frame it that way, but this isn't about their screwed-up family dynamics and Yelena swallows that particular bitter pill for the moment. Instead, she simply listens and tries to really hear what she's saying.
It's hard, of course. She hasn't had anyone like that, someone she could turn to if she needed. Maybe Kate Bishop could become someone like that? But it's... part of a future she doesn't really let herself think too much about. Hope, in her experience, is a dangerous thing.]
You always had me, sestra, and now? You really cannot get rid of me, even if you tried. [She slumps a little, which means she's pretty much sliding to sit in Natasha's lap, which makes it easier for her to put her head on her little sister's shoulder, at least.] I think... no one could really blame you for having a little emotion when you came back from dying... to the person you let go for... only for him to be all wrong.
[And if they did? Yelena would tell them where they could stick it.]
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Clutching the fabric of Yelena's shirt, Natasha nods. ]
There's no getting rid of me either. You will have me hanging over your shoulder and telling you what to do until you're so sick of me you'll want to pull both your guns.
[There's a gentle sigh as she sits there, holding on tight. It's a strange position, but there's no one to see them, no one to know that both of them have these fierce emotions. None could take from them their hearts, and that's what makes them so powerful. ]
He's only one man anyways. A stupid one. Men are always such idiots. I told you of the one who dumped me in only my robe. I mean, why are they all so fucking stupid. Why would we give our hearts?
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[She doesn't care how awkward it is. She just wants to stay here and cling to her sister like the world is ending. Hell, it might be, if everything Aurora and Echo and whoever the fuck else is in on this is really true.
She scoffs again- ] Because our hearts make stupid decisions, sestra
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She laughs out a wet half laugh, half sob.] I'll still know it all because I'm you're bigger, older, wiser sister.
[wiping away a few of the tears on her hands, she lays her head on Yelena's shoulder and sighs, feeling the heaviness of the world slip away. There's nothing else to worry about now. The world could melt away and Nat would be okay. ]
Well, all my heart cares about now is you. Stupid men mean nothing anymore.
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She reaches up to idly pat her sister's head when she drops down to her shoulder.]
Lucky me... [She says with a lopsided little grin.]
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Fuck, we're such dorks. If they're recording us right now, I'm going to kick some ass.
[Squeezing Yelena tight, Natasha smiles softly not really eager to move in any way.]
Me too.