etraya | [UN: swordcandy

[ Be daring. Be silly. Xingchen can't resist them! ]

I believed they would treat you fairly though. Learn your reasons and how possibly to help you be a better person. I know...I was wrong now.

[ He doesn't let himself sigh audibly, though his head dips. Only to come back up at that question. His expression softens. ]

To meditate. But since you have a golden core, we can focus on exploring how that feels and how best to nurture it.

[Oh no, he can see where this is going!]

Daozhang... I might've been angry at you before, but I really don't give a rat's ass about any of that now. I got myself into that position and you were doing your best.

[So no apologizing. He feels like his heart might shatter if Xingchen does.]

Alright. I don't like meditating; you know it hurts for me to remain still.

[Healing from his injuries had been agony in more ways than one. When he's still, the demons of his past, of his actions creep up on him.]

[ His mouth snaps shut, clearly about to apologize! Someone knows this blind man a bit!

But he breathes, focusing, and slowly nods. It still feels like a failure. He hadn't been able to do more, hadn't realized what more he could have done until too late. ]

I know. I will stay with you every step of the way. All I ask is you try. We can look until we find something that works.

[Cute. Xue Yang watches Xingchen's image fondly, caressing it with his thumb.]

You expect too much of yourself. It's okay to make mistakes.

[Xiao Xingchen is young. Too damn young to take on the world and fix it. It's enough that he tries. That matters to someone like Xue Yang who had been treated like gutter trash.]

Huh I guess we feel the same way about each other. [Just try.] If you sit with me, it'll go better.

[ His cheeks pink at the gentle rebuke and he ducks his head. But he feels oddly warm. Xue Yang told him that. Only to then be told they feel the same way about each other. Xue Yang said he loves Xingchen. Does that mean...Xingchen loves Xue Yang too? Would he even know what that feels like? This is different to how he feels about Zichen.

Suddenly he feels he has to find the other man. ]

Where are you?

[He hadn't exactly meant...love. Of course he loves Xingchen, but he doesn't expect that love to ever be returned. What he had meant is that they should both just...try. Because if they don't, they are doomed to fail.

And, really, things have to change. Xue Yang knows that in his gut. He isn't a fool.

The idea of seeing Xingchen in person makes him jittery and he flushes harder.]

The...mm... The cafeteria. I can meet you anywhere though. Do you know your way around?

[ Love is precious. Xingchen doesn't want Xue Yang to regret feeling that way. ]

I'm learning...but...could you meet me back in...our room?

[How can he? For the first time, he has experienced actual, no strings attached kindness. He will love Xiao Xingchen until he dies.]

Of course! I'll be there in a few minutes.

[Quicker, actually, because he pushes himself into a run. A limping run. He skids to a halt at their door and opens it, a little out of breath.]

Xingchen.

[ Xingchen nods before slowly closing the connection. He sets out a few things, candles for meditation, but also kits to clean their swords. And tea. Well, the makings for tea. He hasn't yet mastered the manner of heating things here.

He hears the limp in that scurrying gait and it makes his heart lurch. He sets out healing lotion, too. ]

Your hip is bothering you again. Let me look at it?

[Xue Yang comes inside and closes the door behind him. He isn't willing to share his time with his Daozhang with anyone.]

Just because I ran here.

[But he goes to Xingchen obediently, regardless, checking on the man's blindfold.]

You haven't been feeling sad, have you?

[ He doesn't mind the door being closed so much now. Closing him in with Xue Yang - after all, they share a room again.

He feels his face heat a little as gentle hands check his blindfold, followed by the concerned question. Shaking his head a little, he smiles and takes just as much care in feeling over the old wound on that poor hip. ]

No. I'm alright.

Promise? [Their lives are entwined and, to his credit, Xue Yang is trying his hardest to make sure Xiao Xingchen is safe and comfortable. That includes checking on the poor man's eyes. Well. The eye sockets.

His hands smooth over the pale fabric of his Daozhang's blindfold and then he cups Xingchen's cute cheeks.]

We're both alright, then, and we will stay that way. I don't care what Aurora gets up to.

You know I'm a poor liar. [ Which isn't a bad thing, as far as he's concerned! He hates dishonesty.

He's noticed how hard Xue Yang works to be...better. It's hard to resist smiling at him. Softening towards him. And impossible to keep his heart from racing at the gentle hands cradling his face. ]

We will be fine. [ He will take better care of Xue Yang, too. To keep it unnecessary for the other man to sink back to the darker aspects of his past. ] Whatever is put before us, we will handle it.

I'm getting worse at it by just being around you. [His lies used to flow so easily, silky to his ears and the ears of others. But now he either ends up giving himself away by laughing or he just can't go through with it.

Everything about him softens when he is in his Daozhang's presence. He smiles at the reassurance and presses their heads together.]

Are you hungry? Or would you like to get some fresh air? I'll walk with you anywhere, Daozhang.

Good. [ The softening is clear, and he does his best to encourage those sharp edges to gentle. He nudges their noses together shyly, then smiles at the suggestions. That Xue Yang would even think to ask his opinion rather than dictate is a good thing! ]

Let's eat, then take a walk. No running. I'm right with you.

[Giddy laughter bubbles up in his chest and Xue Yang embraces the dear man. His smile almost reaches his ears!]

I would never run away from you. To you, yes. But not away! [He takes hold of Xingchen's hand, leading him to the door and out into the hallway.] You're so cute, Daozhang. I need to be careful or someone might steal you.

[ He leans into the embrace with a startled little breath, but the laughter doesn't feel brittle. Standing, he lets his hand be taken. Not because he really needs that guidance, but because it's...nice. His cheeks pink at being called cute and he shakes his head a little, but smiles. ]

Why would anyone want to steal me? I think you're teasing me again. [ Nut not maliciously, so he doesn't mind. ]

[He has noticed that Xingchen is getting stronger. That's good. The color on those cheeks just makes the man cuter - in his biased opinion - and he barely keeps from kissing his Daozhang there. He really shouldn't, though. He doesn't want to spook Xingchen.]

Are you kidding? You're adorable and sweet and strong. I bet they're jealous I have you with me.

[He is proud of that fact.]

[ He's needed. Not just by what Aurora states as the reason for him being brought here. But...Xue Yang needs him. And he gains strength from seeing how the other man heals, and gentles. For his sake, but it's a start.

And Xingchen is blessedly ignorant of Xue Yang's desire! He only shakes his head with a fond smile again as he walks beside the other man. ]

Friends are good to have. Have you met anyone here yet that might become a friend?

[Yes. He needs him more than air or water. His mind is starting to stitch itself back together and Xue Yang, honestly, isn't quite sure who he is at the moment. But he knows he belongs to Xiao Xingchen.

It's a decent start.]

Mostly kids, which is weird. I make deals with them so they bring me sweet treats.

[And then he ends up sharing the treats with them.]

Don't worry, I'm not greedy. I share.

[ Xingchen is starting to have hope for Xue Yang. Real hope. Each day shows him a little more, and slowly his soul is starting to heal.

He frowns at the mention of kids being here. ]

Have you been helping keep them safe?

[ He squeezes Xue Yang's hand gently, rewarding him for that kindness in sharing treats. And resolves to start giving Xue Yang candy again every day, as he had in Yi City. ]

[Xue Yang opens the doors to the cafeteria for them and gently guides Xingchen through. It's just...natural...to be softer with his Daozhang. But he is also hyper aware of people seeing. He doesn't give a damn about being judged. Rather, he fears Xingchen being hurt or used against him.]

I offer lessons. Some of them are pretty strong as it is. One of them can make tornadoes.

[The squeeze makes his steps lighter and he beams.]

If a kid named Aang finds you, don't be startled. I told him about you.

[ Xingchen is used to people staring at him. It isn't all that normal to see blind people walking around, and he supposes even less so in other cultures. But he does his best to take the stares in stride and ignore them beyond the needed awareness to avoid bumping into any but the most careless. Xue Yang's guidance helps. ]

You are doing well, A-Yang.

[ The nickname slips out and he hardly even hears himself use it. ]

Tornadoes? That is quite impressive! [ He smiles. ] I look forward to meeting him, then.

[Anyone who carelessly or purposefully runs into Xingchen will find themselves regretting it a split second later. Xue Yang has the strength and ferocity to push anyone against a wall - particularly when enraged. His Daozhang deserves way better than that!

He almost loses his step upon hearing the nickname. O-Oh. His cheeks turn red and he stares at Xingchen in wonder.]

...y-yes. It's... [What the hell was he talking about earlier?]

What are you hungry for, A-Chen? I'll get it for you.

[ So very belatedly he realizes what slipped out, and his cheeks flush darkly as he ducks his head. But he doesn't apologize for the daring. Xue Yang has worked hard. And...this Xue Yang is cute. Sweet. Considerate. And makes his heart race and he wants...he doesn't know what he wants.

He gently squeezes Xue Yang's fingers, feeling the stare keenly.

Oh! A-Chen. It's...only right. And he finds he doesn't mind. No. Not at all. It warms him and he draws in a steadying breath before lifting his head a little. ]

You know what I'm used to eating. I trust you to bring something I can eat.

[ So no tongues! ]

[UN: swordcandy | Video]

[Video]

[Video]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)