ontologically: (But here I go)
Amy Dallon ([personal profile] ontologically) wrote in [community profile] etraya 2024-09-21 03:27 pm (UTC)

cw: mentions of incest, emotional abuse, child exploitation, body horror (1/2)

[Of course it's all right. Yes, she was exploited, yes her family were the ones doing most of it. The PRT had her on the side to heal all their wounded toy soldiers as they wound all of them up to go die in pointless battles against monsters that the greatest heroes of America had created in the confines of their own minds. Her family bought into all of it, made her life a living nightmare of stepping on eggshells to avoid triggering her mother's barely hidden contempt for her, to avoid being a problem for the family that she intruded on.

She's a horrible person. She knows that. Two feelings conflict inside of her, the one that knows what role her family played in everything that happened to her and everything that happened to her sister. And the other... the sharp knowledge of what she's done. The crystal clear memory of limbs splayed out in a nightmarish imitation of a human body repeated over and over, every inch of skin held up in deific glory. In love. In desperation.

And that side of her can't help but yearn for what she had before she ruined everything - because it was her that proved them all right, no matter how hard she was pushed by the Slaughterhouse Nine - by Riley - or by her family long before that, or even if she wanted to be particularly pathetic, by Lisa. It was her. The rot starts with her. And they let the red death in. And with it came darkness and decay. A brood parasite waiting to hatch.

There's a space of about ten minutes before she finally responds, settling on the anger she feels, not for herself or for the hypocrites and murderers she was raised to follow the example of, but for what she left in her wake.]

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