[UN: swordcandy | Video] [CW: Talk of sex/virginity.]

[cultivatingsin]

[He gives a big stretch, his arms over his head, and then he relaxes with a groan. From this angle, he looks like a lounging feline, always up to no good.]

It feels nice to have breathing room, doesn't it? [Bringing a bottle of something that probably isn't juice or water to his lips, he drinks deeply before flashing a bright smile.]

I want to do a headcount - and this isn't serious so keep your complaints to yourself:

How many of you are virgins? Be honest! Some of you are young enough that you should be.

[Unless they've lived a life like his, that is!]

Comments

UN: ultramar text

[thecodexabides]

what is a
virgin
and why are you collecting this data?

text / un:steelchains

[codicies]

people will just say anything on the network huh

text

[cultivatingsin]

Someone who has never fucked.

Why shouldn't I be collecting this data? It's important.

text

[cultivatingsin]

Sure. Did you expect differently?

[codicies]

i've met my share of creepers but usually they try to maintain some semblance of plausible deniability.

[cultivatingsin]

Who said I'm a creeper?! Now you're the one being rude. It's just a question!

[codicies]

It's a creepy question!

If I'm rude for saying rude things, it stands to reason that you're creepy for saying creepy things.

[cultivatingsin]

Why? I'm not afraid to tell you my status. It's not like I'm asking to see parts.

Presumptuous!

[codicies]

ugh, GROSS

[cultivatingsin]

How old are you?

[codicies]

none of your business

[cultivatingsin]

Bed time, kid. Let the adults talk.

[thecodexabides]

What practical use is this
data?

[cultivatingsin]

My entertainment?

[thecodexabides]

How is it entertaining? [Explain the joke to the humorless idiot.]

[cultivatingsin]

Well usually virgins get teased and that's pretty funny! Don't worry, it's good for them~

[thecodexabides]

Why is that something you would
tease someone for?
[Asks the giant several hundred year old space virgin]

[cultivatingsin]

Because it's pretty normal to have sex...eventually, anyway. You must come from a lonely world, huh.

[thecodexabides]

We are not lonely. We travel as an entire battle company per ship. [So many men. SO MANY. Most big dumb space marines.]

[cultivatingsin]

With all sorts of rules, right? No touching, no fooling around... Am I wrong?

[codicies]

fuck you

[cultivatingsin]

You'll grow in no time.

[thecodexabides]

We have many rules in the Codex. They are all designed to make us focused on our sworn duty.

[cultivatingsin]

Bullshit. They're just trying to keep you from being human. Humans can't live on "sworn duty".

[thecodexabides]

I am not human
though. I have been remade in the image of the Emperor's vision.