un: ulysses | video

[restingstitchface]

[On the latest feed: a man with combed hair, a clean face, a mismatched suit and a pair of rimless glasses. Video is streaming from an office where one might spot a painting of an anguished man. He closes his eyes and fixes his lenses on his nose, looking away while leaning forward. His preference is for messaging, but today he is showing his face. He inhales in a calm and controlled manner. Facial cues encourage trust. He prefers to remain unobserved, but this should encourage a positive impression.

Unless you’re Batman, apparently.]

Well, that was a terrible couple of weeks.

In any case, my apologies for the intrusion. I was managing the aftermath and hesitant to reach out until today. I have nothing further to add except that I understand you might feel nervous. But if you resist those feelings, you will have to face them again, and when they catch you…

[He swallows his sentence and focuses on his reason for posting, grounding himself in the present moment by inhaling.]

Back home I treat people for support with their mental health. I had excellent resources there but here I can offer nothing but a listening ear. Perhaps you would like to take me up on that? It’s not like you need insurance and sometimes it’s good to talk.

Feel free to contact me. I'm here to help.

Comments

[fortitudosalutis]

Not really. Might’ve been when I came home from Korengal the first time. I was drunk a lot then.

[restingstitchface]

What was your tipple of choice?

[fortitudosalutis]

Vodka. Had a battle buddy who loved fireball but I never liked the taste.

[ He still saves it whenever he finds it, in honer of Delaney. ]

[restingstitchface]

Cinnamon isn't for everyone. But I guess we need to be able to swallow things we dislike sometime.

[fortitudosalutis]

Marines had a saying about that. Embrace the suck. About the one thing they did right.

[ He's honor bound to rag on the Marine Corps every time he gets, but even he can admit that. ]

[restingstitchface]

[Had a saying? Past tense.]

It's a lesson that sticks with you, right?

[fortitudosalutis]

God doesn't love a whiner. Some shit you just take.

[restingstitchface]

And some you throw back up.

Either because you cannot stomach it or your body's suffered enough.

[fortitudosalutis]

[ There's a pause. ]

Mostly, I think people just die when they've had enough.

[restingstitchface]

Perhaps. But you're still alive and kicking.

[fortitudosalutis]

That's all a bit relative, isn't it?

Besides, I remember dying back home. But here I am, walking around.

[restingstitchface]

I can only imagine that was a powerful experience. Disorientating, I would think, to return from a line nobody returns from. But sometimes people survive experiences so extreme they believe they might feel lost. Then living becomes the harder task...

[fortitudosalutis]

Aftermaths are funny like that.
You talk like you know.

[restingstitchface]

I've had my fill of difficult moments. Enough to understand survival tends to shape your opinions of and interactions with the world.

[fortitudosalutis]

I was a different person before I went to war.

[restingstitchface]

What do you think of who you were before the war?

[fortitudosalutis]

I was a dumbass kid. Didn't know what I could lose.
But I learned fast.

[restingstitchface]

I see. And what do you think of who you are now?

[fortitudosalutis]

I don't know what my role is here.

[restingstitchface]

We were brought here for a purpose, right? How do you feel about that?

[How do you feel? That is a question he rarely asks, except when he wants an unfiltered opinion. This man lacks a sense of direction, a purpose, but what prevents his presence here from offering that?]

[fortitudosalutis]

It's not my war.
My world isn't worth saving.

[ Another pause. ]

But I want to go back and bury the dead. So I'll follow orders for now.

sorry for delay! feel free to wrap if you want

[restingstitchface]

It sounds like finding that sense of satisfaction and fulfillment is important for you. But having the freedom to pursue it... sometimes that has a heavier price than we expect.

no worries!

[fortitudosalutis]

Yeah
Sometimes

Can you help me sleep?

[restingstitchface]

Of course. But it would be good to have some idea of how you sleep at present. Ideally I would be able to access pertinent information from your medical records to tailor something effective if necessary. But there are certainly options.

[fortitudosalutis]

[ There's a pause. ]

You want permission, then you have it.

I don't sleep much. Couple hours a night. And I have bad dreams.