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[taxevasion]

So is this like Reddit, or more like Facebook? Can I change my username? Kind of weird it didn’t ask me to set up a password. What if someone steals someone else’s earpieces? Would they be able to post with their account? What if I want to make a second account for… you know. Sideblog reasons?

Comments

[newsbeat]

No. I always care. Whether or not I'm likely to be hurt has very little to do with it. Someone else would be, if someone hated me enough to take action. So I care.

[taxevasion]

[This is weird. He's texting with Superman. It's already been weird, and sure, he's walked by Superman that one time when he was seconds away from passing out after the whole Butterflies thing, so he's not going to count that one, and then that other time with Superman here, while he was in his Vigilante costume... It's just weird. To see him as another person, and not just like, a random A-list celebrity encounter. Someone he's seen on TV or a newspaper in passing. And here he is, just talking to him, with so much... sincerity. The kind that hurts to look at.]

I think you did the right thing. On Earth.

[newsbeat]

I appreciate that. It means more than you might think to hear it.

[taxevasion]

[It's even weirder for him to have a moment of candor with someone and have them thank him for it. Usually there's some form of mockery that follows it, and when none comes, he panics a little, because processing emotions is hard.]

Yeah, too bad you did it in that stupid underwear outfit. Briefs go under the pants. Idiot.

[FUCK, he just called Superman an idiot. Oh my god. What is wrong with him.]

[newsbeat]

I'm happy with my outfit. It's okay if it's not everyone's thing. That's a little rude to say, though.

[taxevasion]

And you're being way too nice about it!

[newsbeat]

Why shouldn't I be nice?

[taxevasion]

Because I just said your costume sucked? And you'd be right to tell me off for it?

[newsbeat]

I don't think I have the right to dictate anyone else's taste. You're allowed to have your own opinion.

[taxevasion]

This is what I'm talking about. Defend yourself a little, dude! Maybe like, "the underwear's on the outside so people can see how big my meat is," or something!

[newsbeat]

That is really inappropriate!

[He! Is! Blushing!]

And it is NOT why I wear the trunks.

[taxevasion]

So you're just accidentally showing off?

[newsbeat]

I'm not showing off at all. Look, I know the trunks are kind of silly, but that is the actual point.

[taxevasion]

Really? Why?

[newsbeat]

[This isn't normally something he'd discuss with a near-stranger, but heck. The idea doesn't feel terrible.]

I know I can do a lot of powerful things, and that can be scary for some people. But all I want to do is help people, and that means I want them to feel comfortable asking me for help if they need it. I don't want to look intimidating.

[taxevasion]

[He didn't think about it like that. Being a superhero- in his mind- is at least half about looking cool, half utilitarian. No point in looking cool if what you're doing gets you killed. But that's less of a concern for Superman, who can bend metal and survive being hit by a plane. No need for either of those values- if Superman looked serious... he'd easily look more like a threat.]

Like babies.

[No one would blame you Clark if you just put him out of his misery.]

[newsbeat]

Right. I would hate to scare babies.

[If Clark can deal with Lex Luthor he can deal with this guy. It's not even close to the same level of annoying yet.]

[taxevasion]

No, you're like babies. Babies look cute on purpose so we take care of them. You look silly on purpose so humans don't find you scary. I get it now.

[newsbeat]

I'm not sure if babies do that on purpose but I guess that's close enough?

[taxevasion]

Close enough is good enough for me!