un: theball | text

[stresstokens]

Hey. Hope everyone's recovering from that stupid maze okay.

I'll just get right down to my point of inquiry. For a place that claims that we're meant to save the universe, I've noticed a pretty dramatic human-bias around here that strikes me as kind of odd, considering how diverse the universe actually is.

So I'd like to get a show of hands. Who here is from a world where humans are the only sentient species around, and who here is from a world with more than just humans kicking around? What other sorts of species are around? I'd like to know how much of it is selection-bias based on who's running this place and how much of it is them drawing from places that just don't have any non-human populations. I wouldn't mind hearing about what sorts of non-humans you have around either, but that's probably less important, statistically speaking.

Lastly... what do you see when you look at this picture?

[ Inserted is a photograph of a suave looking goblin man in a tuxedo with a pencil-thin moustache. He's holding a champagne flute towards the camera with his arm around -- something. If you've been infected by the curse, you'll see the goblin man's arm is around a black tabaxi woman, but if not, his arm looks as though it's simply hanging in mid-air. ]

[ OOC NOTE: due to the extremely low likelihood we'll ever get kalina in-game, the picture is just for flavour! if you'd like your character to be infected by the shadowcat and thus able to see her image in the photo, it would be due to any circumstance in which any of riz's bodily fluids were absorbed into their own body in some way, i.e. blood or saliva. feel free to handwave a circumstance in which that could happen, even if it's riz's blood lingering on one of the labyrinth's traps that then got into an open cut of theirs, a glass in the labyrinth he drank from that they then used, etc., etc.! Please see this comment for more information! ]

Comments

;o; <3

[stresstokens]

It won't happen again!

[ That's a lie. They both know it's a lie. And last time he lied, he created Baron, so he should probably stop lest his clueboards suddenly come to life and start eating people. And before he fucks up again and Fabian really does throw a hissy fit, which -- looking at the state of their kitchen, Riz would be inclined to agree with him. He doesn't think he's gotten this worked up since the tattoos incident, and at least he was able to blame that one on a truly unwise amount of snuff. ]

Thanks for being cool about it. [ At least the tear-down is happening with great speed, now that he's figured out his preliminary filing system, thanks to a handy assortment of folders). ] I mean, it probably will happen again, but... not here. There's a ton of empty apartments here. Unless we suddenly get way more people around here, I think I can turn one into an office.

[ There's too much information. There are too many avenues of discovery. It's all just too much, so much that even Riz finds himself feeling woefully overwhelmed by the prospect of it all, and typically he thrives on having too much information. ]

So that'd be like, problem solved, right?

[ He'll still be spiraling, but at least he can spiral privately. And yeah, Fabian might suddenly be seeing a lot less of Riz, but that's not such a bad thing. He probably wants to bring girls back here someday. That's a whole thing that's important to Fabian, as he recalls.

Riz may not know much about romance, but he does know that unless you're in possession of Pok Gukgak's level of suave (which Fabian is not, sorry pal!), clueboards are a poor way to win a woman's heart. ]

[maximumlegend]

[ Oh.

Fabian feels his jaw dropping a little bit. Because-- yeah, he gets why Riz is proposing that solution. And it'd probably be good, because then Riz would have a place for all of this that wouldn't get in the way of anything else, and it's not like Fabian wants to stop him from getting into his.. hobby, if you could call it that.

On the other hand, he knows what Riz is like. The moment the guy sets up an office here, he's definitely not returning to the apartment again. He's just going to sleep in there - maybe not even as a conscious decision, but maybe more because he forgets the time, because he just stays there overnight, because he gets lost in it all.

And then Fabian.. will be here.

In an empty space by himself. Left behind.

Maybe it's a cycle he can't escape.

It leaves a feeling like heartburn in his chest. It's so hard, because he doesn't want to say anything about it. He doesn't want to bother anyone else with his own dumb issues that he should be over, and-- besides, Riz would be happy with his own office, right? It'd be fine. It'd be better. Maybe not for Fabian, but it'll learn him to get better in time. ]

I mean..

[ ...

Something shifts about Fabian. He looks obviously awkward. Maybe in that sort of way where he's half-trying to hide it, but if anyone could see beyond that, it's private investigator Riz Gukgak, right. ]

.. Would you want to?

[ He doesn't want him to.

But Fabian learned how to smother selfish wishes like that a long time ago, way before he even met the other Bad Kids in the first place. Back when it was his parents he couldn't ask to stay. ]

[stresstokens]

[ Something about the way Fabian's voice goes quiet when he says, would you want to? gives Riz pause, even in his frenzied state, like just saying the flat out 'yes' that's on the tip of his tongue would be the wrong thing to say. He just can't seem to figure out why. Fabian doesn't like his space being messed up like this. And Riz -- Riz isn't fun to be around when he's like this, and he knows it. A part of him loves it, loves descending deep into a frenzy of overthinking and speculation. It's how he feels the most him, like he's really onto something, like what he's doing is valuable, important, like every other thing in the world that worries him just fades away. It's wonderful. When he's separated from this thing that he does, he feels... less himself. Lesser. Strange. Like there's someone else puppeting his body around while he waits for the next task.

As much as he loves it, he's also fundamentally aware that it's not good for anyone else, and probably not good for himself either. His friends usually indulge him, being that whatever he's focused on is usually predicated around something the whole team is working on (which is good; it means he's useful, he's helping the team, he's serving a purpose), but it makes him strained, strange, erratic. He usually manages to keep from descending into all this when he has company, but when he was home alone for hours at a time, things would get a little touch and go. The Bad Kids have seen him on task for their mission. His Mom saw him when there was no mission to be had -- just a kid getting worked up in the tiny apartment they called home, a kid she had to remind to eat and sleep and wash up long past the point at which he should be able to handle all of that himself.

There's no way Fabian wants to be around all that. The obvious solution is to remove himself, because he knows no matter how many promises he makes, at some point he'll look up and find that he's in the middle of it. Again. ]

I mean, wouldn't that be better for you? [ He slips another piece of paper into the folder. ] Even if I try not to do this again...

[ Saying anything more is the sort of thing that would get him sent to Jawbone. He probably wouldn't say anything at all, if not for Fabian's odd reaction, and the fact that he's pretty sure that Fabian won't start making noises about mental health and hey, have you considered talking to a professional about this.

His fingers flex out in front of him. He glances over at one of the boards, its ramblings incoherent to everyone but him. ]

Sometimes I don't really know I'm doing it while I'm doing it? I look up, and it's just... [ His cheeks puff out. He knows it sounds like a stupid excuse. ] Boom. And now it's all up in your shit.

[ Not inaccurate. Some has even made its way onto Fabian's door though not, thankfully, his actual bedroom. Some things are sacred. ]

[maximumlegend]

[ Riz is right. Sure, maybe Fabian sees the vague contours or something that should lead to making noises about mental health, but-- that's not Fabian's thing. All he sees is that it's clearly bothering Riz, and he can't tell for sure if it's bothering Riz because Riz is afraid it's bothering him, or if it's bothering Riz on a more personal level beyond that.

It's difficult too. After all, it's not like Fabian experiences anything like this. Aside from his brief Baron possession stint, he can't really recall any other time where he just.. blacked out and then suddenly found himself doing something, no thought in between. Sure, he made a lot of terrible decisions, but they were always conscious decisions. His decisions. It makes it hard for him to put himself into Riz's shoes in this particular case.

But he knows one thing: he doesn't want Riz to go.

And he also doesn't want Riz to have to look like this.

(Okay, so maybe it's two things.) ]

Then.. we'll just deal with it when it happens again.

[ Despite his threat earlier of getting mad if this would repeat, right now Fabian just shrugs, any and all fight about this having seeped right out of him. Sure, the habit is a little annoying, but the last thing he'd want is for one of his friends to feel like he has to walk on eggshells around him, or just leave him outright. Even more so when he doesn't want Riz to go, when the idea of an empty apartment seems terrifying. ]

You and your mom figured it out, right? [ They lived together! It's not like this is Riz's first cohabitation experience in his entire life! ] I mean, I'm-- I'm obviously not her, but if you two could make it work, we can make it work.

[ It's a little more thoughtful and quiet - or, you know, less loud - than Fabian usually is. Even if he's not making noises about seeing professionals, he's still trying to be a little thoughtful here. God knows he wouldn't want his friends to awkwardly poke into his own issues. Which is why he's making sure they don't know about those in the first place. ]

Besides, it'd be kind of sad if all three of us just lived in completely different spaces here, right? It almost makes it seem like we're trying to pretend we don't know each other. [ He manages to downplay it a little. It sounds a touch silly, almost joking.

It's easier to hide what's underneath the carpet when there's a showmaster or a clown standing on top of it, after all. If Fabian has ever learned anything in his life, it's that. ]

[stresstokens]

I mean, my Mom kind of had to figure it out. She's my Mom.

[ And that right there is the sticking point between friends and family, as Riz knows it. His Mom loves him, he knows, and she's endlessly proud and supportive of him, and he hasn't felt a day in which he hasn't been able to rely on that source of uncompromising acceptance. But he knows, too, that his Mom would do this for any kid she wound up with, and that Riz in particular was never an easy child to raise. But he's who she got stuck with, so that was that.

The same can't be said for Fabian. Friendships can be built on unconditional acceptance, sure. But that acceptance can be revoked at any time. It's not like Fabian's just stuck with Riz -- he's made the choice to be with him, and as heartening as that is, it means that the terrifying prospect that he could choose not to be with him looms overhead. He's confident in himself while he's adventuring. He's useful. He figures out the clues. He hides, and disarms traps, and conjures up strategies and gameplans. He's confident when there's a mission at hand.

What they're doing here, seeing each other more than just at school and on missions, actually living together? That's different. It's not as though the Bad Kids aren't already well aware of his foibles, but now Fabian gets to see them laid bare, when all of these ramblings probably won't amount to anything useful in the long-run. It's a little scary.

But Fabian's right here, cracking a joke and doing his damnedest to get Riz to stick around (even though having an office wouldn't mean moving out; come on, Fabian!), so maybe he'll do the scary thing anyway. ]

But -- yeah. If you wanna make it work, we can make it work. [ He looks up at Fabian, heavy brows wrinkled in -- something. Touched and confused in equal measures, maybe. ]

...thanks, man.

[maximumlegend]

[ Fabian hits Riz's shoulder.

Not hard, thankfully, but that's definitely a fist, knuckles out and everything! Sorry, the friendly jock gestures just keep happening.. ]

Well, she might be your mother, but I'm your best friend.

[ He says it so naturally.

As if to Fabian.. there isn't much of a difference. Part of that might be his own complicated relationship with his parents and the conditionality of some things when it comes to them. Part of that might just be that Fabian really does care so genuinely about all his friends. But he smiles in that way Fabian always does when there's no extra meaning to his words at all. When they're just what they plainly seem to be. ]

And I hope you're not telling me that I ought to look for a new best friend just over some clue boards.

[ Granted, it is bigger than the clue boards.

But considering Fabian hates having his issues pointed out, he can't imagine it's all that much more fun for Riz. So even though they both know the truth, and even though they both know that the other also knows that truth - he's fine with keeping it this lighthearted out loud, even between them.

Especially as Fabian is reassuring him that nothing like this could ever break their best friend bond. You worked for that, Riz! You hustled for years!! You gave up important information to an enemy for this!! ]

[stresstokens]

[ Fabian probably should get a new best friend for a whole host of reasons, Riz is aware, but it's not like he's going to tell the guy that after he'd spent the past year and a half more or less goading, tricking, cajoling, and otherwise conning him into taking the role (the role that Riz himself is still a little surprised that Fabian's taken to, even months in the future, and one he's not particularly inclined to jeopardize), so he just ducks his head and smiles instead, even ignoring the way Fabian's knuckles bounce off his shoulder.

(It's a little reassuring to know the future. That things get fucked up, and school is probably hard, and apparently they have to chase after the Night Yorb in between now and surviving their Junior Year, but no friendships have been irrevocably fucked up. That's a win. Sometimes Riz still can't quite believe how much he lucked out in Freshman Year.) ]

You know that's not what I'm saying, [ he protests. ] No takebacksies.

[ Which isn't how this sort of thing is supposed to work, but Fabian can pry their friendship necklaces out of his cold, dead hands. And then he'd probably haunt the shit out of him, or something. It's feels stupid, immature, weird to still care about shit that happened in fucking middle school (a time he's certain that his parents never actually look back on themselves as the well-adjusted adults that Riz is hoping to emulate), but sometimes he still doesn't know what to do when Fabian turns off the rich-kid act in favour of easy acceptance, thoughtless kindness. ]

...c'mon. Let's go get something to eat, and then I'll take the rest of this down. Deal?