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un: samil | video
[ cw: cannibalism themes throughout! mutilation may be mentioned.. somewhere in here. ]
So I was just minding my own goddamn business earlier, right? When one of the robots handed me a letter. Luckily, I did learn how to read. 'cause I guess the rest of you went out an' had a nice party without inviting me.
( the letter gets raised up, held high enough to be legible for several moments, before sam turns it in towards himself and starts reading off of it using a really poor imitation of hannibal's accent - )
You were enjoyed by many, especially myself. Your heart made for a delectable 'tar-tar'? The fuck is that supposed to be?
Anyway. Sorry to anyone who wasn't plannin' on eating people. Considering he fed me to myself, I doubt he mentioned it. I'd recommend staying the hell away from his place, especially considering how fucked it's gonna be once I'm done with it.
So I was just minding my own goddamn business earlier, right? When one of the robots handed me a letter. Luckily, I did learn how to read. 'cause I guess the rest of you went out an' had a nice party without inviting me.
( the letter gets raised up, held high enough to be legible for several moments, before sam turns it in towards himself and starts reading off of it using a really poor imitation of hannibal's accent - )
You were enjoyed by many, especially myself. Your heart made for a delectable 'tar-tar'? The fuck is that supposed to be?
Anyway. Sorry to anyone who wasn't plannin' on eating people. Considering he fed me to myself, I doubt he mentioned it. I'd recommend staying the hell away from his place, especially considering how fucked it's gonna be once I'm done with it.
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( the whatever it was that was causing people to go batshit. the crap that happened in the hospital. recovering after all of that. if it wasn't for the note, sam probably would've left it be for a while. )
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[ Tim ... needs a moment and can't simply bail to take it because he told Samil to come to Tim's house. All he gets to take is the briefest touch of a hand to his own chest and a burst of that gasping terror to get shocked back into consciousness at the hospital. (It's fine - anything is better than a mental slideshow of the greatest losses of Tim. Stay on the recent heart-stop trauma and leave the other stuff buried.) ]
... can we have a deal where we keep each other informed of things like this? Bad actors - or people who are actually taking the challenge of proving your universe the best by taking out the champions of other universes? Two way street?
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( if shit had been less chaotic when it all happened, sam wouldn't have kept it quiet so long. he didn't really mean to either, it just kind of - happened. he's got people here, and sam isn't stupid enough not to recognize that even with ari's absence.
no need to talk about any of that though, especially when he can just - )
Y'know, you mentioned weapons, but all I'm seeing is clutter.
( it's not a complaint; the tone is playful. and sam opts to take the opportunity to start shoving over whatever random crap is on the couch. )
I think you need more stuff. There's still a lot of visible wall.
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Sam knowing where the weapons are isn't a problem in and of itself, but he's not going to just give them away. There has to be push to Sam's pull. ]
Because I'm good at my job. You might be bad at yours, too soon to tell. The weapons are around, but nowhere that you're going to sit in place of a chair for style points. As for the wall?
[ Tim smirks. ]
Maybe I left them blank for you to decorate. Or I didn't want anything in the way of the crossbow bolts.
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( just before he flops down onto the spot on the couch he's cleared off, legs spread out in front of him. )
I'd draw dicks on them right above where you can reach to clean 'em off, you don't want me decorating the walls. Crossbows though - that's a good enough reason for me.
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Don't worry, I'll give you three compliments later to build you back up.
[ His eyes are focused behind Samil and up, where the wall meets the ceiling. The ceilings are high for the time the original was built, about nine and a half feet. Sure, he can't reach it with his feet on the ground, but who said anything about that? ]
What makes you think there's anything in this room I can't reach?
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( tim isn't that small - sam is just teasing for the hell of it. his eyes look tim over, then up over his head to the ceiling above him. )
'cause I'm pretty sure your arms don't reach up that high.
( just saying. sam could reach it with minimal difficulty. )
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[ The foot in the face has been added to dissuade Sam from testing the scenario. They don't need phallic scribbles. It's not up for debate. ]
I can touch the ceiling in a vertical jump. I can scrub the ceiling from the ground with the right tools, or by standing on at least 5 things in the room. Six, counting you.
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( rather than having to grab five other objects. and sam is so much more fun to step on. right? right. he's still sitting, but he does lean forward instead of laying against the back of the couch. )
I'll leave the ceilings dick-less, for now, but I want it noted it's not your threat of feet shoved in my face that's convinced me.
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So noted. I'm going to have questions later about why it sounds like we're entering foot fetish territory, but I am curious about what convinced you.
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( with tim behind him, sam opts to lean back so he's looking back and up towards him. )
Anyway. Ceiling dicks're for brats. If I'm gonna be obnoxious, I'm going to do something way worse.
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[ Tim shifts to keep eye contact as Sam moves, no balance checks needed. Still with the same smirk, looking somewhere to the west of pleased. Alive. ]
Oooh, your worst. The bar's high - or should I say, it's low. You're going to have to crawl to clear it.
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( it's the grin, the stupid pleased look on tim's face which isn't bad at all, especially given the way sam is grinning at him in return.
still makes him want to yank tim down off the back of the couch though. not that he's reaching for him yet, but the threat is there. )
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[ If the goal is to keep Sam's mind off what happened (which it is, ostensibly. That's the excuse for relieving Tim's fears) - then silliness can be encouraged. Laughter is medicinal. ]
Then again, you announced it, so you can try, but now I'm on guard for the move. How fast are you?
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( cause of course he won't. he will, however, reach up as high as he can, fingers grabbing for tim's shirt wherever he can reach so he can - yank him down a little. )
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Or flirty, but he’ll second guess that classification to oblivion.
Leaning down with the pull on his shirt shifts his center of gravity so far it’s precarious. Tim’s balance is good, by his skewed, over high standard, yes - but he’s bent nearly double. The squishy cushion beneath his feet makes his calves work overtime to keep him steady and keep him from dropping into Samil’s lap. ]
You’re doing a very good impression of someone who wants me to fall. If I fell from here, I don’t think I could get control of the fall before I landed on you.
[ He glances up - down? - at Sam’s legs, through his dangling hair. ]
So you’re warned.
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( tim is very bendy. which would be impressive, if sam hadn't already seen him in action. and while tim's working hard to try to keep himself from falling over, sam is - doing the opposite.
he's dragging tim closer, careful not to bend him to the point of hurting him, but pulling tim in closer as he moves up, to try and press an easy, gentle kiss to the corner of his lips. )
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Craning his head forward to accept the kiss pushes the lean a degree too far, and gravity overcomes the friction. Tim topples forward and down - true to his word, there's not enough space for him to get control of the fall. Barely enough time to make sure he doesn't land on anything important. ]