etraya | un: HELLION

[ Jay has spent the past two days holed up trying to deal with what he interprets his memories to mean. Hearing that he died - it doesn't feel great, and Jay turns the camera off, leaving just audio. ]

Did the five what bring me back? I don't know who Krakoa is...

[ There's a pause, because Jay wants to ask about the school, did they get a warning in time, but... not like this. ]

Did Sam wake up?

( this is not a good conversation to have over.. this. )

Meet me at the school.

[ Jay nods, but looks unsure. ]

I'll find it as soon as I can.

[ He hasn't ventured far from the hospital, but will be flying the slow way. Getting told that he died for sure sucked all motivation out of him. Jay needs the extra time to steel himself.

Eventually, he flutters down on the basketball courts. ]

( he's already out here, watching. laura's around, albeit - significantly smaller than she should be. it's fine. it's not the first time they've been stuck with alternate versions of themselves, had their memories fucked with, or got stuck in another universe where they thought they were supposed to be. this is just par the course for being an x-man.

what isn't, is having some idiot here who was directly responsible for julian watching most of his friends die from a missile colliding with their bus after m-day. jay killed their friends, and died for it.

but that was years ago. forever ago, one trauma buried under years and years of dealing with the x-men's bullshit, of scott rebuilding, just for it to get destroyed again. of logan bringing in spider-man to teach of all people, just for that school to get fucked up, too. years of war, of julian losing his goddamn hands. of the girls giving julian crap every moment they could find an opening to. laura breaking his heart, the first couple times. sofia.

when jay lands in the basketball court, julian has his hands lifted up to pinch the bridge of his nose between his (metal) index fingers, pulling in a deep breath before he lets it out. )

Okay. Let's start over. Is Stryker the last thing you remember?

I guess Stryker. He had Nimrod up on some cross table, told me I would burn in hell with Julia. Then he shot me...

[ Jay trails off after that, one hand grabbing the other elbow and squeezing. What he really remembers last is how cold he was getting with Stryker's men standing over him and not even paying him any mind. Julian doesn't need to hear that. ]

I don't know if anything after that was real.

[ It didn't seem like hell. Stryker's right though: Jay isn't going to heaven. He only got the reasons wrong. But that's not fit for discussion. ]

But it wasn't what was supposed to happen...

( shot him. so it was later, then. after jay had come back without his wings. good, that gives julian a starting place to work with. )

Guthrie - you flew here using your wings, right? The very wings Stryker had taken from you. How do you think you got those back? 'cause you definitely weren't healing right after they were gone.

( he could get angry. tell jay what a stupid, bullshit move it was to go to stryker of all people. but julian, sadly, kind of gets it: the desperation to help, to make a difference, to save their friends. it was too late for them at that point, and jay's attempt had hurt a lot more than it helped. he's still angry about it, but - sofia's back now. she's wind dancer again. brian is back. despite all the bullshit, they were able to bring back their people and make things better, and krakoa was meant to be a new start for all of them. )

I don't know why they're back.

[ The stress is apparent; that's the very question that's been keeping up at night. It's been hard to not go a little crazy and Jay only has the shock of a new universe to protect himself from his poor coping skills. ]

I thought maybe Josh - maybe he healed my body like he healed Mr. Beaubier's, but couldn't bring him back. You said I died. I know I was dying... Last night I thought maybe it was God, as punishment for Stryker blaspheming and being a false prophet. I saw a lot of gold, but I think I was hallucinating.

( the last thing he wants to deal with is a panic attack. julian isn't the guy for that, this is why he keeps cessily around.

he reaches a hand out. puts his palm against jay's shoulder, so he can feel the weight of julian there.

or, well, julian's prosthetic. close enough. )

I'm going to need you to take a breath, okay? Everything's fine, now. That was years ago.

I know. I think you said that before, but I thought - I don't know. You were trying to make me feel better and I don't deserve it. Or apologies.

[ The contact helps, but the other kids being in danger, dying, it's all extremely recent and raw to Jay. 'Years ago' hasn't sunk in yet.

Although... ]

You do look different.

[ He doesn't directly ask, what the heck happened to your hand, and won't. Jay would, if it were someone else. Julian is Julian, prickly and proud, and that's not a glove. It's better to let him explain on his terms. ]

Yeah, well. Sentinels blew off my hands and I lost a few organs along the way. It happens.

( in their lives, at least. when they don't outright keel over. julian's been lucky and unlucky in that sense: he's hard to kill, but he can't heal like josh and jay can. his injuries just get stuck with him until someone comes along to fix him up.

but that's a problem to go over later. now? )

You missed a lot of fighting. But long story short? School blew up, most of our friends died. The X-Men fell apart a few times. Then the Five - Tempus, Proteus, Hope Summers, Egg, and Foley - figured out a way to cheat death. We re-established ourselves on Krakoa, a mutant island where mutants could live in peace. The Five have been slowly reviving everyone we've lost since M-Day. And now we're here.

[ Breathing stops feeling quite so necessary when it's put plainly like that.

Jay starts the word is at least half a dozen times, but doesn't get it out.

Is Sam okay?
Is Paige okay?
Is Melody okay?
Is David okay?
Is Noriko okay?
Is Sofia okay?

He knows some of the ones that aren't okay. He was there, for M-Day, but missed Noah. Or forgot, it's all such a blur. And doesn't that just make him feel sicker. How could he forget?

Paige broke the news about the students on the bus, but that was after he gave up his wings. He wasn't - he didn't remember all of it. Jay doesn't think she went through the whole list because the high school grades alone have dozens of students and Jay knew them all, even if they weren't all friends. Most of our friends died. most of their friends were alive when he left. The school blew up. It was Stryker. He knows it.

And it's his fault. Everyone on that bus was his fault. Sooraya was his fault. Jay sways on his feet. Doesn't hear the rest. ]

I'm so sorry. I didn't know. He said miracles require a sacrifice - he said if I gave my wings up to God, He'd keep them safe... I didn't know, Julian. I swear I didn't know.

I know you didn't.

( it's understanding that comes with years of working under the x-men's thumb. of being on the run. getting disowned by his family, because he wanted his friends who weren't sapien-passing to be able to do things other kids did. years of watching his friends die, come back, die again. of losing his hands and having to learn how to work around that. of waiting, for sofia to finally be resurrected while they all knew she was stuck on mojoworld. of getting left behind. of trying so damn hard all for nothing. )

Just like I know you were so desperate you'd listen to anything. That's not flying anymore. You got it? You and me, we're here together. That makes us a team. And teams don't run off to do stupid crap without bringing it up to everyone else first.

[ And doesn't that scald. Yeah, he had been desperate. Everything had felt so urgent. The mass de-powering, the panic in the halls, the Sentinels standing guard outside, the upscaling of the trainings, which were feeling less like learning about control and more like making them X-Men... and then a chance had come to do something that wasn't fighting, that was supposed to do good... and Jay had run off to do it. Twice.

Like he could ever make that kind of difference. ]

Yeah, I was going to stick close anyway.

[ It doesn't lay as Julian trying to boss him around, or Jay would bail. Jay understands it as looking out for him, which... he might could need. ]

I didn't like how that guy started with what's wrong with no mutants and got all the way to anathema. It means somebody who's been cursed from a church and formally kicked out. Most people think it just means you hate it, but they used it right. They didn't say "anathemas" or "an anathema" - it's a noun, but in religious texts I've always seen just "anathema". Stryker went with sons and daughters of Satan but... same thing.

Edited 2025-02-20 02:27 (UTC)

( foley killed stryker, and it broke something in him. julian remembers, just like he remembers every other slight that's been brought against them. his parents. cessily's parents. the government, out to get ford because of an accident. jay, losing his wings in an ill-informed effort to - try and save them. brian. but jay's whole bit, it's old news. and he doesn't think that bringing up foley learning just how hard he can go when he reverses his healing touch would help any. )

Stryker died, not long after. ( and then again, when warren sliced him in half. and again, after he came back with a stupid robot body. again, sometime after that. julian doesn't keep track of everything, but he knows stryker's dead, which is the important bit. ) He's gone now, and we're stronger than ever. We've got our own safe place again, for the first time since fucking M-Day. It's been like - a little over half a decade, but we did it, and we bought you back, even if you don't remember it. I'm betting somewhere in that bird brain of yours, Hope's embedded Krakoan. ( something they can check when jay's done freaking out about everything else, probably. telepaths implanting languages may be pretty common by julian's time, but given where jay's memories but off - maybe best to fuck with it just yet. )

And you know that asshole's wrong. That they both are. Don't let it get to you.

( julian's going to take care of it anyway. )

[ Julian's throwing everything but the kitchen sink at Jay, who can tell it's meant to make him feel better somehow. Jay knows how it works. Vengeance. An eye for an eye. Stryker can't hurt them, or anyone like them, ever again. It's comforting, but it doesn't exactly make him feel great. A man died. That counts for something. But that man killed dozens of kids. Laurie. Sooraya. He doesn't even count himself in it. It's not for him to decide what it means.

Maybe he had a heart attack from all the rage. ]

I don't know what I know anymore. I don't think I know Krakoan. I was taking French with Mr. Beaubier for awhile...

[ There really is nowhere safe to talk, is there. Hard to think they were only at school for a few years. ]

But I know they were wrong. You can't have it both ways. You can't say God made everything beautiful and God hates mutants. You don't get to pick and choose what God made. Besides, Stryker admitted he shot that missile. He - he knew they were humans, but he thought - I don't remember what he said. He thought they'd teach people to understand we're all people.

[ Something that Jay had tried to stress with Gadriel, who maybe doesn't get it either. ]

I don't think most people want to hear that there are people who are plain better than than them. I can admit who's better than me. It'd be frustrating if they only thought it, but some idiot gives them missiles and robots - didn't they say that THEY had a missile? Should we be in the basement? It's reinforced, and I don't know how to turn on the security system.

( julian doesn't remember how to work the security system either. it hadn't been on his list of things to figure out when the school had been standing, and - well. it hasn't been, in a while. not that he's really all that concerned about it. )

Don't be such a wuss. ( his hand leaves jay's shoulder, and julian turns around, to head back towards the school building. ) I've leveled up since you kicked the bucket - I can protect this whole school by myself. No one's knocking it down without my say-so.

( granted, julian has to be awake to actually protect the school - and even more than that, he needs to be coherent enough to string together his thoughts, but, outside of that? he's not afraid of a stupid missile taking them down. not anymore. he's better than that. )

[ He'll have to forgive Jay for looking skeptical. There were how many X-Men living here and the school got attacked - and people hurt - more than once while Jay lived here.

But he follows him anyway. ]

Unless you've evolved past sleeping, I'm going to try to figure out where the on button is. I guess we should find our old dorm rooms. This is... going to be strange.

( see, that's why you sleep in shifts, jay. and in close quarters to one another, so if something does happen, it'd be easy to wake up the other. just like the early days after decimation.

but the number of times they've insisted never again only to have crap hit the fan again - well. jay's right. they need to get the security system up and running, because who the hell knows what's going to happen. )

We'll figure it out. Shouldn't be too hard to up the security here anyway.

The security system isn't on. A baseball bat under the mattress ups the security, at least where I'm concerned. Not you two. But I don't know if I want to go the Banshee route.

[ Jay will jog past Julian to the doors leading into the cafeteria and try them, intending to hold the door open. ]

( it's very polite of him, but julian is a cheater and instead of taking the invitation, rolls his eyes before he's unlocking the door using his telekinesis, and waves a hand to open the door and keep it open long enough for them both to pass through. )

What, you don't want to booby trap all the doorways to keep out everyone else? Boring.

[ Showoff. Jay shakes his head as he steps inside, but he doesn't comment much on the display. He feels like he's on eggshells, still, and almost wishes Julian would tear him a new one and get it over with. ]

Thanks.

[ He looks back again through the windows that exist only to taunt students with the basketball court, pool, open space and the promise of free time. Thinks about what Nimrod showed him - the concrete crumbling, anything that could catch fire burning. His friends broken. ]

Can we booby trap the doors? I've heard worse ideas.

It's our place, man. We can do whatever we want with it.

( julian doesn't see anyone else stepping up to claim it. finders keepers, and all that.

as soon as julian's through the door, it slams shut behind them and locks itself. just in case. )

Long as we make sure Laura can get through. ( she may be the size of a kindergartener, but she's still one of then. )

You thought I was going to lock her out? Or booby trap her out?

[ Jay hums to himself, thinking of smaller siblings and the trouble they can get into. ]

If anything, we might want to make it harder for her to get out at night so she can't get herself into trouble, but that'd probably make it harder for us because it's tough trying to keep an eye on a kid that hates you.

No. I just meant, as long as we make sure she can get through, we're fine.

( he gets the appeal of making it more difficult for laura to get out, but also knows she's stubborn and would just manage to find a way out regardless, even if it meant harming herself in the process. )

And you know she doesn't hate us, right? She seems to be okay with me.

Yeah, I know. That's why I said we probably shouldn't make it too hard?

[ Jay just laughs goodnaturedly and shakes his head. That's not what he meant, and he'll explain, but he's allowed to be amused. ]

Come on, Julian. I have nine brothers and sisters. I know Laura doesn't hate us, but trust me on this. If we're keeping an eye on her, and we kinda are here because it wouldn't sit right not to, she's going to say she hates us sooner or later. My money's on the first time one of us says "because I said so."

Besides, sneaking out's a rite of passage around here.

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