un:dp | video

[fourthwalled]

[Wade pops up on screen in all his scarred glory, looking very excited about something.] Alright, listen up motherfuckers! I have a very important announcement! Way more important than our next mission or who's banging who-- although you feel free to give me that hot goss if you've got it.

We have a new arrival. She's the bestest girl and I expect you all to give her all the treats and kisses she wants! Be fair warned, she uses tongue. A LOT OF IT.

[Wade brings a dog into screen. But not just any dog. A dog that is so ugly she's adorable. At least, to him, she is! Mostly hairless, a long ass tongue that won't stay in her mouth, and bulging eyes. And yes, she's wearing a Deadpool uniform.]

Meet Dogpool! Mary Puppins!

Comments

[fourthwalled]

Hey, what's that supposed to mean???
I can take care of her!

[decodex]

I mean, have you ever had a pet before?

Just asking.

[fourthwalled]

No.
But she spent who knows how long stuck in the Void at the End of Time.
I'm sure I can do better than that!
Feed her, walk her, give her love.
Easy.

[decodex]

Yeah, you know, I think that covers it.

Just don’t be too hard on her when she inevitably shits on the carpet. Dogs do that sometimes.

[fourthwalled]

I mean, I've done it.
So I can't fault her, can I?

[Is he joking? Who knows. Could go either way.]