un:dp | video

[fourthwalled]

[Wade pops up on screen in all his scarred glory, looking very excited about something.] Alright, listen up motherfuckers! I have a very important announcement! Way more important than our next mission or who's banging who-- although you feel free to give me that hot goss if you've got it.

We have a new arrival. She's the bestest girl and I expect you all to give her all the treats and kisses she wants! Be fair warned, she uses tongue. A LOT OF IT.

[Wade brings a dog into screen. But not just any dog. A dog that is so ugly she's adorable. At least, to him, she is! Mostly hairless, a long ass tongue that won't stay in her mouth, and bulging eyes. And yes, she's wearing a Deadpool uniform.]

Meet Dogpool! Mary Puppins!

Comments

video. @wild.flower

[hasitsthorns]

[ The is the most ugdorable dog she's ever seen, yes. ]

Oh myyyyy gosh, she's so cute.

Does she do well with other dogs? I have one, so- I'm always looking for playmates for him!

[fourthwalled]

I don't know, I think so! She likes everyone and not a mean bone in her body. Although fair warning, I've seen what she does to stuffies, so she's definitely a humper.

She's a lady who demands to be in charge!

un: SquirrelPower

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Please tell Dogpool that I love her and that she's a very good girl!

[fourthwalled]

She knows it! But I'll tell her! [He gives the dog a kiss, who then proceeds to kiss him with her overly large tongue before his lips can even hit her cheek.]

Squirrel Girl loves you! And you're a very-- [Ack! Tongue, in the mouth and right down his throat. Good god.]

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

That's, uh... that's some impressive flexibility she's got there.

Also, you can call me Doreen, the whole 'secret identity' thing hasn't really been... um, a thing, for a little while.

un; Hob (video)

[100more]

That's.. your dog?

[ are we sure it's a dog? ]

You must be very happy to see her again. Did you request her or is her arrival a surprise?

un @fiveinone

[sophielicious]

... okay

[fourthwalled]

I still go by Deadpool, and everyone knows I was Wade from the start. [He's garbage at secret identities and never bothered.] So it's all about how you feel in the moment, right?

Sometimes you feel like a Doreen, sometimes you feel like Squirrel Girl?

[fourthwalled]

It is! Don't you see the resemblance?

[He lifts Mary Puppins closer to his scarred face, which she licks more.] Careful, Mary, that's my eyeball... I don't need that cleaned.

And I am very happy! I requested her from Aurora, and here she is! The bestest girl in the whole multiverse!

[fourthwalled]

Okay? OKAY?! Is that all you've got to say? This is very important news! LOOK AT HER!

[Wade holds Mary around the waist outward and closer to the screen so that her nose is nearly hitting the screen.]

[sophielicious]

imma ask aurora for some holy water

[fourthwalled]

[He switches to text too.]

Don't be like that. Rude. She just wants love and kisses, not your negativity.

[sophielicious]

oh, come on. you don't be like that. i'm playing

[fourthwalled]

I'm very defensive of my girl. I can't help it! She's so sweet!

[On the other hand, people can make fun of him all day, and he doesn't care at all, usually.]

[sophielicious]

where did you even get her anyway

[fourthwalled]

I got her here by requesting her with points, but before that... I met her in the Void at the end of time. Her original owner, a version of me-- Nicepool is very very dead.

[cough. definitely, not his fault. It's totally his fault.]

So I took her home with me!

[sophielicious]

i need a technical file on your dead friend nicepool

... so she's a dog adopted by you or is she a dog version of you

[fourthwalled]

Take it up with my lawyer.

Good question? Both? I think. I haven't checked if she's got a healing factor because I'd never hurt her or let anyone else try! Nicepool sure didn't. May he rest in... too gorgeous peace.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Honestly, most of the time I feel like both! This is more of a 'my identity got leaked to the press before I showed up here, and there didn't seem to be any point in a secret identity here anyway, so why not roll with it' kinda thing.

... Wait, wait, wait, hold up, important question: is 'Dogpool' Mary Puppins' secret identity? Does she have a little mask and everything?

[sophielicious]

legalpool?

wait, he was gorgeous? how dare you make me through legal hoops for that info. rip, man.

[fourthwalled]

The press, man. They are the worst! One day they love you, the next they're all why did you shoot that guy in the head?!? So fickle.

Oh, it's absolutely her secret identity. She's got a costume with little booties. No mask though, but she's got a set of googles!

[fourthwalled]

Matt Murdock.

[Which will be news to Matt, probably. But give him that cameo, dammit!]

He was. But also the worst. But don't tell Dogpool I said that.

[100more]

I can see that she loves you very much.

[ Hob would not want her to lick him, though. ]

It's nice to have a companion from home. I'm happy for you.

[fourthwalled]

Thanks! It is nice. Do you have any pets? Maybe you could ask for one. Since you can't exactly ask for people to show up... although I guess I haven't tried that.

[He'd just assumed that wouldn't work.]

[sophielicious]

what is the worst to you????

(do not worry she will not)