voice | un: vsmith

[banworthy]

Hello.

How are you all doing? [ A beat. ] Actually, you all know I don't care so let's ignore that question, hm?

So, who would like to have their fortune, romantic future, or whatever told?

I know, I know... tarot is still a [ Longer pause. ] hobby of mine, but one you get to reap the rewards of today.

Fun, right?

Comments

[bootyshortsforoldmen]

Terrible.

[ More beer bottles clatter around. There’s a snort from Sumo. ]

The hell does that even mean? Sure the whole... past. Impulsive, energy in the wrong things. Whatever. Is that not just fucking any day ending in “Y” for me?

[ Hank trails off for a bit, soaking in the whole thing. Or trying to.

The present: feeling resolute about Connor, maybe. And then, the future: hesitating. ]

Don’t think I like your bullshit fortune, Vinny.

[banworthy]

Not a fan that you're intoxicated and asking me questions you're unhappy with the answers, Hank, but I am a priest so I'll enlighten you.

Although, it sounds like you may already know what I'm going to say?

[bootyshortsforoldmen]

Gonna tell me to stop drinking, huh.

Sure. Go ahead and enlighten me, Daddy Vincent.

[banworthy]

It means at the present you're feeling confident about what you are doing to look after yourself and what you care about, but as the future looms, you are going to start believing your choices are wrong.

This is due to impulsive behavior that you exhibited in the past. You'll blind yourself to what's ahead of you by what you've stumped upon miles before. In short, to stop yourself from hesitating, you're going to need to remain confident but exhibit caution in what you do next.

Caution... not hesitation. Do try to figure out the difference, hm?

[bootyshortsforoldmen]

If you think I feel confident now, that’s... bullshit.

[ It makes sense, okay? And Hank means to think this, but he ends up saying it aloud: ]

Stop making fucking sense, Vincent.

So the caution is — ah.

Ah. I see what you’re doing. Trying to make me feel bad for your weird corpse necklace, huh?

[banworthy]

You feel more sure about your decisions at present than usual, no?

[ Corpse necklace? ]

What corpse -- [ Squints. ] -- I'm already planning on giving that back.

[bootyshortsforoldmen]

More than I was a couple months back, sure. I mean the whole... y’know. Thing.

[ Hank might be mildly buzzed, but he remembers how he yapped at Vincent over steak dinner. ]

Doesn’t really feel like I’m making any decisions, though. More letting other people do the heavy lifting.

[ Which does feel like the right thing to do, in this regard. Even if Hank wishes he could help people more. ]

Yeah, yeah. Connor said you could keep it, didn’t he? Been reading your little messages on the network.

I mean, I’ll take it. It’s just — you held up your end of the bargain by talking to him about it. Even if I don’t like it and I don’t think he gets the implications.

[banworthy]

I'm aware. Don't worry. Your secrets and words are safe with me. I am a priest, after all.

[ His shoulders lift and lower. ]

That's just your perception versus reality, isn't it?

[ Moving along -- ]

No, he doesn't and neither do I, but he does like you care about him. So --

[ There's a shrug after his words and he doesn't finish. ]

cn: talking about severed limbs again (normal)

[bootyshortsforoldmen]

Oh, come on, Vinny. Again with the whole morbid metaphors, but if you lost a finger, you’d think it was normal to just give that away and see someone wearing it round their goddamn neck?

cn: denied personhood

[banworthy]

I'm not an android!

WOW VINCENT WOW

[bootyshortsforoldmen]

The hell is that supposed to mean? Connor’s not just a goddamn android, or do you think he’s — what? Just playing pretend here? Acting all human ‘cause it’s fun?

Jesus.

private; cn: denied personhood LOUDER

[banworthy]

It's what he's programmed to act like? I'll treat him like a person but honestly I don't think it'd upset him if I treated him like an appliance, either.

He likes you care about him, but that's -- [ Waves his hand. ] I'll treat all of these little robots like they're people but it's for my own self-satisfaction.

I'm at least an adult enough to admit that, Hank.

YODELS INCOHERENTLY

[bootyshortsforoldmen]

So you think he just — what? Was programmed to get all attached to old men? Guy broke in through my goddamn window at camp. You think some programming just told him to do that?

You think something made him give you that piece of his plating? ‘Cause I don’t. I think he just didn’t know what he was getting into. Because he’s a person, and he’s new, and he’s learning.

How can you talk to him face to face and still think he’s not a person? He’s not a goddamn appliance.

[banworthy]

I do believe he would say different, Hank.

You just want there to be a person. And sometimes, I do, too. But quite frankly, there isn't and that's fine. Isn't it? He makes you feel better by being a thing that cares about you, but other people that are people care about you.

[ He pauses to push his glasses up. Not that Hank can see that because he's on voice, but whatever. ]

I'm not one of them, but I do think you should rethink your decisions on this one. Don't you think it's more painful for an appliance to be told they're a person than be acknowledged for what they are? Sure, I'm doing it, but we both know the kind of person I am.

[bootyshortsforoldmen]

Jesus Christ. Making me wanna strangle you.

You haven’t seen what I have. Guy fucking deviated because he didn’t want to kill me, for fuck’s sake. Hurt his friends on the way, too.

That all just fun and games to you? Some master plan from some weird AI?

Connor’s not a thing. He’s Connor. Jesus.

Nah. Your little fortune was right in that regard, at least: I am goddamn confident in Connor’s personhood. I’m not wavering on that at all.

Think I need whiskey after talking to you.

[banworthy]

I don't really have any plan for Connor. It's just a means to kill time.

[ He sighs. ]

Haven't you already had enough? Why are you even drunk now?

[bootyshortsforoldmen]

Gonna take more than a few beers to get me drunk. But no. Hell no, I have not had enough.

Why would you even care, since I’m just a toaster lover, apparently?

[banworthy]

Because, Hank, I have an investment in you.

[bootyshortsforoldmen]

Yeah? If you cared about keeping that investment, not sure why you’d go and call a guy’s best friend an appliance.

But I’ll bite. Whatever. No one else offering their neck to you, huh?

[banworthy]

I'm not going to touch that one because I am concerned about my investment.

But yes, our mutual beneficial relationship is in danger and I would like to do something to ensure it is not. Furthermore, it's showing support for you since... I doubt you want Connor to see you like this?

[bootyshortsforoldmen]

Shoulda thought about your little “investment” before you started being weird about Connor. Kinda strange, that. Thought you were all about doing whatever gets you what you want.

Don’t want Connor seeing me like this, no. Don’t want Connor seeing you like this, either.

[banworthy]

Yes, but I also don't want to lie to you, Hank. I believe being honest is better than covering up something that'll be made apparent sometime in the future.

But from that statement... you'd like me to lie to him instead?

[bootyshortsforoldmen]

Don’t lie to him. I don’t think he’d want you to do that.

Want you to treat him like a person. Which you say you do anyway, even if it’s just a game to you.

Why not lie to me? Said you don’t got any plans for Con, so why not just keep pretending?

[banworthy]

Because it's not beneficial to me to lie to you.

[ Obviously. ]

In the long run, it would hurt me.

[bootyshortsforoldmen]

Don’t see why. I mean, I get what you’re saying. But you could’ve just gone along with it. I dunno.

When would I have ever learned about all this if you hadn’t told me, y’know? Not like you’re going around kidnapping Aurora’s little robots and turning them into blenders and fucked up necklaces.

[ Right, Vincent? RIGHT?? ]