Un: TerribleTinkerer | Text

[badnewsandshitlist]

If money has no meaning here, then what do people do with themselves? Adventure for the sport of it? Build things only to watch them gather dust?

I prefer problems that bite back or explode in my hands, but it seems difficult to call that work in a place where every need is already seen to.

So. What passes for an occupation here—when merit and coin are both irrelevant?

Comments

[badnewsandshitlist]

Sciel, then. Simple, elegant, impossible to shorten further. You have the advantage of me already. My name needs pruning, yours requires none at all.

As for myself, I am already drowning in titles. Architect of Enlightened Progress of the Chamber of Whitestone, Terrible Tinkerer of Tal’Dorei, sometime member of the Super High-Intensity Team, current member of Vox Machina, husband to Lady Vex’ahlia-Baroness of the First House of Whitestone and Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt. You see the problem.

“The Handless” would be a vulgar addition to that catalogue. If I must earn a new epithet here, let it be one worth engraving.

[cache_coeur]

Certainly easier to yell in an emergency, isn’t it?

Handless wouldn’t match, you’re right. Sounds like you married well, though? Assuming your wife is as fond of titles as you are. Is she here, too? I believe I’ve met her brother.

[Unless the world contains more than one Vex’ahlia. It’s an unusual name to her, but maybe it’s the Marie of… Tal’Dorei? Whitestone? Wherever.]

[badnewsandshitlist]

Easier to yell, yes, though I hope never to require rescuing by name alone. As for my wife, she is far better at collecting titles than I am. Baroness of the First House of Whitestone, Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt, Coinmistress of the Republic, Champion of Pelor, member of the Council of Emon, Ambassador to Syngorn, sometime member of the Super High-Intensity Team, current member of Vox Machina, and wife to, well, me.

She wears them all as if they weigh nothing, though every one was earned the hard way. She is here, which means this place is both safer and far lovelier than it has any right to be. And if you have met her brother, then you know the twins bring a particular intensity to any household. I am fortunate to have married the dangerous half, though I take some delight in reminding Vax of that fact whenever possible.

[cache_coeur]

I’m glad I never wanted for anything beyond “wife.” Take or leave the rest of that mouthful, though I’m sure it comes with some perks.

Interesting, though. I’ve never seen them together. What makes her so dangerous?

[badnewsandshitlist]

The perks are substantial, though the titles themselves are hardly the point. What makes her dangerous is not the list but the woman who wears it. Vex’ahlia does not flinch before monsters. She faces them as if they were only another hunt, bow steady, eyes certain. I have seen her walk through fire and shadow without once losing her aim.

And when the battle is done, she has the heart to forgive where I would not. She carries steel and mercy in equal measure, and both suit her perfectly. Her brother is swift, yes, but she is patient, and patience makes her the sharper blade.

I admire her for all of that, and more besides. The truth is, the world is not merely safer at her side. It is brighter, kinder, unbearably more beautiful. I am, without question, the luckiest man alive that she has chosen me.

[cache_coeur]

A woman who could rule the world, no doubt. My sincerest congratulations on your beautiful, powerful, magnanimous and talented wife, in particular for netting herself a husband who sees only the best in her, as a man in love should. You must now tell me how you won your lady’s heart.

[badnewsandshitlist]

There are a number of possible answers, depending on how charitable you are feeling.

One might say it began in a jail cell, when I handed her six hundred gold as if bribery were the natural way to make friends. Or perhaps when I set about making amends for the fact that I once killed her, which is not the usual way to court a woman but it does leave a memorable impression. Some would point to the moment I had the arrogance to one-up her father, which at least proved I had the spine to stand beside her. Others will say it was after my own death, when I discovered that hearts can still be persuaded back into beating if given the right reason.

I prefer to claim it was the kiss in the snow, but the truth is it was all of these, strung together. In the end, she chose me, though if you want confirmation of that unlikely fact you will have to ask Vex’ahlia herself.

[cache_coeur]

[She’s glad for this lunatic (affectionate), the same way she’s glad for anyone who finds their person in life and clings to them so fiercely. She is, however, also glad this is text, as she does not have to avoid making a face at the idea that so many people apparently never had the right reason.

Still:]

And is she the sort of person who balks at very personal questions from complete and total strangers, or is she as forthcoming and friendly as you?

[badnewsandshitlist]

Forthcoming, yes, though “friendly” depends rather on the stranger and the question. She has the gift of making people feel seen, but she is not easily fooled, and she does not suffer fools gladly. If you ask her something personal, you will get an answer, though it may come with an arrow’s point of precision.

I admit, I find it endearing. Others have been known to find it terrifying. For what it is worth, I suspect she would like you.

[cache_coeur]

Hah! I’m flattered, though I must admit I’m hard pressed to find anyone terrifying after hearing such nice things about them.

And the three of you have found each other, yes? Vax was very concerned that he wouldn’t see her again after SanFran.

[badnewsandshitlist]

That is the trick of it. I praise her because every word is true, and still the truth does not blunt her edge. Vex can be as charming as she pleases, but she is no less formidable for it. Ask anyone who has stood on the wrong side of her bow.

And yes, we have found each other. Vax was not wrong to worry, but his fears were misplaced. The bond between them is unshakable, and I have no intention of ever standing in the way of it. As for me, I am fortunate beyond words that Vex chose to share her life with me, and I endure more than a bit of scowling from her brother as the natural consequence. It is, I admit, largely deserved.

[cache_coeur]

You know, I am getting the distinct impression that despite all this matrimonial bliss, you and Vax aren’t terribly fond of each other.

video 🏹un: Mistress_Vex

[usedhuntersmark]

Well, that would be because they're both idiots. Percy sometimes doesn't think before he opens his handsome mouth and my brother is impulsive and it leads to him being in danger that we could all very well handle differently if he only stopped for a moment.

Otherwise, I'd say they're both overly protective of me and adorable. It's both a blessing and a curse, if I'm honest.

[cache_coeur]

[Oh look, the woman of the hour! Sciel does not switch to video to match, but she is smiling, on her end of the network.]

You’re very lucky to have such an effusive pair of devotees, then. And lucky, too, to be reunited, especially in a place with so few opportunities to be reckless in battle.

[usedhuntersmark]

I'm aware of how lucky I am. But, again, they are idiots. That is why I choose my bear. Trinket is not an idiot.

However, I love them all very much and would do anything to keep them safe. And despite Percy's lackluster show of effusion at seeing Vax, I know he's happy to see him as well.

Just one away for a full point augh.

[badnewsandshitlist]

You see what I deal with? "Idiot" is considered a term of endearment. It is a strange life, but as I said... I am lucky to have it.