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un: jaycetalis | video
[In a rare moment of using video on purpose, there's Jayce. To those who know him, he looks the same as he always does. To those who don't- he's an early 30's man with seemingly a permanent five-o-clock shadow, bright golden eyes, and perfectly coiffed hair. The background is out of focus, but to those who know it, it's clearly a part of S.T.A.R. labs. Normally a little more jovial or at least less serious sounding, Jayce looks into the camera like he's giving a press release.]
Weāve got about forty-eight hours or less until Aurora allows that toxin into Etraya. Which means if you havenāt started taking precautions already; start now. Get easily carried food, medical supplies, whatever you think you'd need. Better to be over-prepared than under.
Considering what Aurora's told us about the "mission"... If youāre someone prone to having weapons, do us all a favor and throw them into one of our many, lovely lakes, before you wind up using it on someone else. Or, if youāre going to be touchy about it, let me know, Iāll talk with Harold about how we can get them locked up somewhere for the missionās duration.
As a reminder to those who donāt want to think about it, and maybe new information to those who are new: if you die here, for whatever reason, you lose something. I donāt know what, you wonāt know what, and you might not even know what it is youāve lost even after youāve lost it. Maybe itās an eye, maybe itās the memory of your best friend. Either way, whatever you're afraid of by not having your weapons on you isnāt worth what youāll be making someone else lose because of your bad decisions.
If you have any special concerns, worries about any specific denizens in this upcoming mission, now's also the time to voice it.
Weāve got about forty-eight hours or less until Aurora allows that toxin into Etraya. Which means if you havenāt started taking precautions already; start now. Get easily carried food, medical supplies, whatever you think you'd need. Better to be over-prepared than under.
Considering what Aurora's told us about the "mission"... If youāre someone prone to having weapons, do us all a favor and throw them into one of our many, lovely lakes, before you wind up using it on someone else. Or, if youāre going to be touchy about it, let me know, Iāll talk with Harold about how we can get them locked up somewhere for the missionās duration.
As a reminder to those who donāt want to think about it, and maybe new information to those who are new: if you die here, for whatever reason, you lose something. I donāt know what, you wonāt know what, and you might not even know what it is youāve lost even after youāve lost it. Maybe itās an eye, maybe itās the memory of your best friend. Either way, whatever you're afraid of by not having your weapons on you isnāt worth what youāll be making someone else lose because of your bad decisions.
If you have any special concerns, worries about any specific denizens in this upcoming mission, now's also the time to voice it.
no subject
My mind gets stuck within the memory of the night we met in the warehouse, my body loses control over its breathing functions, and I will find time has moved forward without my noticing. I get random pulses of fear at innocuous things. My body responds violently when I am restrained now, which never used to happen. None of these things have ever happened to me before his ministrations. I am unused to not having full control over my faculties.
I do. Barnabas Tharmr, the first and last King of Waloed, Warden of Ash, Dominant of Odin.
no subject
[Jayce has no reason to be that confident.]
What could he have wanted from you that badly if heād never met you before? Information about the anomaly?
[Also oh no. Sleipnirās symptoms donāt sound like the kind of thing Accelerator could do, actually.]
Itās not something that magic did to you. Itās your own mind. I know that might be hard to believe.
I thought Barnabas was the Warden of Darkness, is he also the Warden of Ash?
[Not that that's particularly important in the scheme of things, heās just nosy.]
no subject
[What else could lend Jaycetalis such confidence? This is not any of Sleipnir's business, of course, but it is all the more reason the man should be careful. ...Unless Accelerator's victims are all strangers to the boy, in case this may put Jaycetalis in a safer position.]
Yes, we were to exchange information we had on the anomaly.
I assure you I would not willingly do this to myself. It must be something he has done.
[Oh no, indeed. Mental health is tragically not a thing which has been studied where he is from.]
Yes, as Odin he is the master of Dark Magic. He also rules over the continent of Ash, not just the Kingdom of Waloed.
no subject
I don't think he'd consider me close, no. He asked for something you didn't want to give up, I'm guessing?
It's not something you're doing on purpose to yourself. I'm probably not the most equipped to explain this one... It's when something so bad happened to you under certain conditions that you're re-experiencing that same level of fear even when the danger isn't present. A cruel trick of biology. I'll give an example. When I was little, I was lost in a dangerous snow storm with my mother. She passed out from hypothermia, I was alone, and there was no shelter around. If we had remained out there, we both would have died. I don't have as strong a reaction anymore as I used to as a kid, but for a while, I was afraid of snow and of the cold. I wouldn't go outside for days if there had been heavy snowfall.
Now, it's been years since then, so I don't have those same fears, but I still try to avoid being outside too much in the winter. It's a permanent part of me now. The snow didn't curse me, but it does feel a little like my own brain did.
[It's not something he often talks about, either. It's not like he wants to bring up something he's still uncomfortable with. But how else is he going to explain PTSD to someone who probably doesn't know much about mental illness?]
Oh, it's a location. That makes more sense.
no subject
Correct. I would say he did not appreciate such, however when usually one does not appreciate something they walk out, whereas Accelerator broke my bones and caused my body to shake and seize, contorting time and amplifying pain. I find this behavior hard to imagine as the sort which would be done once then never again. In fact, he seemed quite practiced in his craft.
[Sleipnir isn't exactly worried about the other people of Etraya as one might be in the conventional way... still, he thinks what occurred to him should not be repeated, especially on someone of weaker mind.
It takes a few times of rereading Jaycetalis' story for Sleipnir to start believing him. He knows this is not something a man usually shares upon first meeting, but then again Sleipnir has shared some of his own horrors...]
I will be honest, I would prefer it to be some sort of devil-trick of your friend's.
[Jaycetalis said years. This... this will not do. Sleipnir needs a fix now. Preferably before the event, at maximum.]
You will forgive me for the confusion, I am still unused to people being of differing worlds. One would think visiting Earth would have solidified this concept, but alas, I still slip up.
no subject
[He shouldnāt be telling other people someone elseās personal detailsā¦ but since when has Jayce been able to keep someone elseās medical history a secret? He is truly a walking HIPAA violation.]
Weāre all byproducts of how we grew up and were raised. Acceleratorās actions are a byproduct of what was done to him years ago.
Itād be easier if it was magic, right? You could find the reverse spell, or you get the caster to undo it. But Iām sorry, thatās not the case here. Itāll take time to recover from, as well as patience and care from those around you to help you through it.
[The thought that Sleipnir doesnāt have anyone he apparently considers a close enough friend isā¦ troubling.]
Donāt worry about. Sometimes Iāll mention something normal about Runeterra, only for someone to mention theyāve never heard of it before. Weāre all aliens to each other, in that sense.
no subject
This is the trouble with our kind, is it not? Cursed to repeat the damage done unto us. But when pointed outward what once was a ripple will turn into a tide.
I have not the time for drawn out recovery, not when the next mission is upon us... Do all such cases of this phenomena require such length to overcome? Be you certain of this?
[The thought of him requiring to rely on others, as if his entire existence didn't center around being relied upon, leaves Sleipnir ill at ease. He knows His Majesty will lend what support he is able, but when it comes to emotional damage... It is not something he is equipped to best.]
I have not thought about our predicament in such terms before. You are a wise man, Jaycetalis.
no subject
Itās wholly dependent on the person, and their brain chemistry. Unless you somehow forget it happened to begin with, I donāt think thereās any shortcuts to recovery on something like this.
[But he brings up a good point. With the next mission particularly preying on peopleās fears, and it seems that Sleipnir is suffering from trauma without the added problems of that fogā¦]
Thereās things you can do to try and recenter yourself, if you feel like youāre panicking. Ways to refocus your mind. I can show you some when I meet up with you.
Hah. Youād be the first one to say that.
no subject
I would be most appreciative were you to do so. I must confess, I am not looking forward to this mission.
Surely not. Perhaps you have surrounded yourself with fools or the deaf, willfully or otherwise.
[Sleipnir genuinely believes Jaycetalis to be very intelligent, if a ~~ in his choice of allies.]
no subject
Now, that's a little unfair. I know where my strengths are, and being "wise" isn't one of them.