etrayamods: (Default)
∎ ETRAYA MODS ∎ ([personal profile] etrayamods) wrote in [community profile] etraya2025-10-13 10:03 am

Chirper


CHIRPER

Welcome to our bi-monthly CHIRPER post!

There are a few ways to interact with CHIRPER:
  • Characters receive a notification to please fill out the form, which is fully optional. There is a character requirement of two characters per answer field. This is to discourage leaving the spaces blank.
  • When forms are not filled out, they can be filled out by the companion bots of Etraya, or by other characters on behalf of their friends! This includes the Q&A section.
  • Characters can either like or dislike others' CHIRPER profiles. These responses are public.
  • This is voluntary on an OOC basis; if the character doesn't have a profile completed by themselves or anyone else, nothing shows up for them on CHIRPER.
  • For those who do post a top level, CHIRPER profiles are worth five extra points regardless of if they are put up willingly by the character themselves. These five extra points do apply to the 25 maximum per month.
This month there is a special 👻 SPOOKY SEASON 👻 addition: instead of ✓ or ✕ for like or dislike, it's 🎃 and 💀. Whatever the character has the most votes for shows up appended to their username on the network for the next month, as in, un: aurora 💀.

Please feel free to switch out any of the Q&A questions with those listed here!


**This is a fixed version of the code, sorry about that!

cactusy: (I'm waiting for someone)

[personal profile] cactusy 2025-11-03 03:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah?

[She murmurs it to the dog - bending to rub a hand over his head and neck, letting him lick her. Then she straightens, studying Shadowheart, trying to gauge how - or if - the mission's toll is still playing out on her body. She knows that she herself still doesn't look her best: her face is drawn, and her eyes are a little baggy.]

Have you practiced since the last time?
tocastashadow: (selûnite 017)

[personal profile] tocastashadow 2025-11-05 10:24 am (UTC)(link)
[Shadowheart looks much the same as she ever does. Of course the events of the mission have been gnawing at her, but she's endured Mother's barbs – and worse – for forty years. Even if she's forgotten most of those years, she must have, at some point, out of sheer necessity, learned to live with it.

Now she's mostly nervous about how Shaw feels about everything Mother said. And who that woman was who'd been clinging to Shaw. And, once she gets a decent look at Shaw's face, she can't help but be a little worried for Shaw's well-being.]


Go in the water by myself? With no one there to rescue me should a sea monster attack? [It's an attempt at making light of her fear of water. Better that than bringing up any of her worries just yet.] Hardly.
cactusy: (all men break the same)

[personal profile] cactusy 2025-11-05 07:27 pm (UTC)(link)
You have pretty serious faith in how well I'd do against a sea monster.

[Though notably, she does not say that she thinks this faith is outsized: she may never have fought a sea monster before, but she's confident that she could hold her own better than most people without powers could. Still stroking her fingers over Scratch's fur (and then giving her other hand over to petting Bear, once he decides that he can't be left out), she nods her chin at the water.]

First, I wanna see if you can still float on your own.
tocastashadow: (selûnite 046)

[personal profile] tocastashadow 2025-11-06 12:08 am (UTC)(link)
[Scratch sits down and leans his head into Shaw's hand, his tail thumping loudly against the ground, thoroughly enjoying the attention.]

Oh, I've no doubt you could easily send a sea monster packing.

[As Shadowheart finishes tying up her hair, she starts stripping off her clothes, revealing the white two-piece swimsuit she procured for the occasion. She shivers at the crisp morning air on her bare skin, and when she steps into the water, she shivers again at the chill of it.

She looks over her shoulder at Shaw.]


You're coming in with me, aren't you?
cactusy: (I'm waiting for someone)

[personal profile] cactusy 2025-11-06 05:17 am (UTC)(link)
[At a different time, under different circumstances, Shaw would likely have taken the opportunity to check her out, at least briefly. Today, though, her expression remains still and drawn.]

In a second.

[She says, making no move to wade in just yet. Bear follows Shadowheart, but only to just past his ankles.]

You should try it on your own first. Then we'll work on strokes - actual swimming.
tocastashadow: (selûnite 017)

[personal profile] tocastashadow 2025-12-01 11:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Just you and me, then, [she says to Bear, reaching down to give his ears a scratch before wading deeper into the water. She goes until she's about waist deep and stops, looking out over the lake.

When they'd first met, Shaw had told her she likes straightforwardness. Shadowheart had gone to John for advice and heard the same thing: be straightforward. The problem is, she isn't quite sure how to say everything she wants to say. Nor is she sure this is a good time; the events of the mission seem to be weighing heavily on Shaw, even more so than they are on Shadowheart.

So of course the thing to do is turn back to Shaw and just blurt it out.]


I like you, you know. Whatever it is between us, I'd like to pursue it. [Is that too much like the lost puppy Mother accused her of being? She adds quickly:] I'm hardly looking for true love. I know our time in this place is finite. And unpredictable. It would be foolish to ignore the reality of that. But we could... enjoy each other's company, while we have it.
cactusy: (I cannot solve clinical depression)

[personal profile] cactusy 2025-12-03 02:56 am (UTC)(link)
[Shaw's expression doesn't change: not for better, and not for worse. There's a part of her that's aware that this might very well be nerve-wracking for Shadowheart, or maybe even offensive, but she just can't work up the energy to display a normal human affect right now, so blankness it is.

Slowly, she bends to a crouch at the waterside, trailing her fingers in the water.]


What is it you're looking for?

[She says, watching Shadowheart with solemnity; with caution.]

Specifically.
tocastashadow: (selûnite 048)

[personal profile] tocastashadow 2025-12-06 02:08 am (UTC)(link)
[Shadowheart watches closely, trying to parse even the slightest change in Shaw's expression. Not an easy task, given how stoic Shaw is.

It's a strangely fragile feeling, asking for... whatever it is she's asking for. Especially with Mother freshly in her head reminding her that she's needy and desperate.]


The sex was good, if I do say so myself. [Shadowheart is convinced that she's extremely good at sex, despite having – thanks to all the holes in her memory – functionally near zero experience.] We could do it again sometime. And...

[This is the part that is particularly nerve-wracking, the part where she wishes she could get a better sense of what Shaw is thinking or feeling. Asking for sex is nowhere near as vulnerable as asking for...]

I'd like your friendship. [Is that too desperate?] If you're willing to give it.
cactusy: (do you have anything for rope burns?)

[personal profile] cactusy 2025-12-06 03:40 am (UTC)(link)
I thought we were friends already.

[Shaw says honestly, still studying Shadowheart's face. The nerves are easy to pick up on, and she doesn't look down on her for it - but it does make her feel like she needs to tread carefully. Not for the first time, she has the sense (accurate or not) that she could very easily and very unintentionally do harm here.]

The sex was good; we should do it again.

[And her confidence on that front is pretty sexy, actually.]

You blew me off when I told you how my brain works, though.

[And that, too, makes her feel like she needs to tread carefully.]
tocastashadow: (selûnite 017)

[personal profile] tocastashadow 2025-12-07 05:30 am (UTC)(link)
[It's an immediate relief to hear Shaw say they were already friends, and that she isn't being too desperate and clingy by asking. She'd thought, or at least hoped, but that's not the sort of thing that can be taken for granted. And it is, of course, a relief to hear that Shaw also thought the sex was good and that she, too, would like to do it again.

But the last thing she says, Shadowheart isn't quite sure how to take, especially since she's not entirely sure what Shaw is referring to. She can tell that Shaw is being careful, which means that she'll have to be careful too. So, carefully, she says,]
Tell me again? I promise I'll listen.
cactusy: (are you even alive?)

[personal profile] cactusy 2025-12-07 01:27 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't feel things the way other people do. I don't feel much at all, actually. And I get that that isn't easy to hear, but it's not fear or low self-esteem talking. It just... is.

[She straightens up to a standing position again, looking Shadowheart dead in the eye.]

When I tell people that there are things that I'm not capable of, and they tell me I'm wrong, I get that they think they're being encouraging or whatever. But what that tells me - based on experience - is that someday they're going to need or want something from me that I can't give, and they're going to be blindsided about it. It'll hurt them. And I don't want to hurt people who don't deserve it.

[She pauses.]

That means you, by the way. I don't want to hurt you.
tocastashadow: (selûnite 045)

[personal profile] tocastashadow 2025-12-11 06:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Let's not talk about what I deserve, shall we?

[She wades out of the water far enough to be close to eye level with Shaw, and shivers a bit as the air hits her legs.]

When I said that you're capable of warmth, I was talking about the warmth I've already seen, no more than that. When you scratch his ears— [She gestures to Scratch, who's currently trying to get Bear to run in circles with him.] —or laugh at my jokes. [Alright, groan at her jokes.] That seems perfectly warm to me. All I want from you is more of what you've already given me.

[Mother might as well be standing right next to her again for how clearly Shadowheart can hear her voice in her head, whispering, repeating what she'd said in the fog, But she doesn't want you. Why would she?

Shadowheart forces herself to keep going. Mother's dead, she doesn't have to listen to her anymore.]


I want to kiss you, every once in a while. And I want to go out for drinks, when everything isn't going to the hells. I'd like to listen, if there's something you want to talk about, and I hope you'll do the same for me. I want you to have my back in a fight, as I want to have yours. I want you to be honest with me, and I want your patience when I don't know what to say or... or what I'm doing. And I don't want you to be cruel to those I care about. I want you to keep scratching my dog's ears and laughing at my jokes. [Or groaning at them.] That's what I'm looking for, specifically.

[Gods, she's fought hags and devils and mind flayers and the avatar of the god of death, and still, saying 'I want' is the most terrifying thing she's ever done. She's never really had to consider what she wants before; her whole life, Shar was there, telling her what to want. Now she's having to figure it out for herself, and find the courage to ask for it.]

If you can do all that, whatever the strength of your feelings, I can't image how you would hurt me.
cactusy: (I cannot solve clinical depression)

[personal profile] cactusy 2025-12-11 07:47 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Shaw listens without interruption, her expression unchanged: serious, focused, but also impassive. These are not things that are particularly difficult, even for her; no one item gives her pause as she ticks them off on a mental checklist.

(Well, maybe the joke thing. Has she ever laughed at one of Shadowheart's lame puns? Groaning at them, more like, she thinks - unknowingly echoing her unspoken aside.)

So no, none of this seems undoable. But all of them together, and with Shadowheart's nervous energy-- ]


Kinda sounds like dating.

[She says, carefully. Still aware of how easily she could hurt. Shadowheart is strong in so many ways, but emotionally... not so much, she doesn't think. ]

Thing is, I don't do relationships.
tocastashadow: (selûnite 048)

[personal profile] tocastashadow 2025-12-11 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Does it?

[Shadowheart is fairly confident that she's never dated anyone. In the unlikely event that she has, she doesn't remember. She doesn't know what it's like, what it entails, what's expected. Is that what she's asking for?]

What do you do, then?
cactusy: (also‚ I'M THE ZODIAC KILLER)

[personal profile] cactusy 2025-12-11 08:13 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Shaw shrugs, her expression shifting to something a little wry. Shadowheart isn't the only one who doesn't know what she's doing. ]

I'm good at loyalty, but not commitment. Reliability, but not exclusivity. Following orders, but not being restricted. I'm a good coworker - usually. I'm not a good girlfriend.

[ She looks down at the dog - offering her hand for a sniff and a scratch. ]

I don't know if that's what you're asking for. But if it is, I figured out pretty early on that I'm not built for it.
tocastashadow: (selûnite 043)

[personal profile] tocastashadow 2025-12-11 11:20 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not looking for a coworker, I'm afraid.

[She says it a little humorously, a little wryly, before she pauses, thinking on what Shaw's said, and shifts back to a more serious tone.]

Loyalty is an attractive quality. I...

[She doesn't want you. Why would she?]

More than anything else, I want a friend. That can be all we are, if that's what you prefer, or we could be friends who sleep together.

[Shadowheart can still feel that nervousness coiling inside her, her heart pattering uncomfortably against her ribs. She can't help but feel, despite being entirely candid, as though she's somehow trying to trick Shaw into something – because why would anyone want her? – while simultaneously feeling as though she's laying her entire soul bare.]

It doesn't need to be exclusive. I just don't want to... to be the other woman, so to speak. I don't want to be a torrid little affair to spice up a boring life, or a third wheel in some other relationship, something that can be thoughtlessly tossed aside. Or forgotten.
cactusy: (I cannot solve clinical depression)

[personal profile] cactusy 2025-12-12 12:19 am (UTC)(link)
I'm trying to teach you how to swim.

[And while that may sound like a non-sequitur, or even impatience, what she means by it is I want you to have this valuable life skill that could save your hide someday. What she means is that it's a sign of investment.]

You don't strike me as a forgettable person. But, uh-- I'm not sure what counts to you as being treated like 'the other woman', a spicy affair, or a third wheel. Spicy affairs are pretty good things from where I'm sitting, but clearly not from where you are, and what feels like exerting independence to me could feel like being callously tossed aside to you - you know what I mean?

[In other words: mismatched needs, wants, and expectations can be brutal, as she can attest from personal experience.]
tocastashadow: (selûnite 047)

[personal profile] tocastashadow 2025-12-12 05:06 am (UTC)(link)
[It does take her a moment to parse what Shaw means when she says that, and by the time she does, Shaw has moved on. But once the meaning dawns on her, Shadowheart can't help but stare, even as Shaw continues to talk. She takes it to mean that Shaw cares enough to want her to be able to save herself, should she ever risk drowning, and that's profoundly touching.

Finally, her brain catches up with the rest of what Shaw's said, and she blinks, her head wobbling back and forth a couple times before she speaks.]


No, I mean...

[She laughs a short little laugh, quiet and ever so slightly awkward.]

It's a bit silly, isn't it? I've never had this conversation before. [And she's struggling to make herself clear.] I mean, oh, when a Duke decides he's bored in his marriage and seduces somebody else purely for the thrill of it, until he goes scurrying back to his spouse for fear of the adultery being discovered. That sort of thing. I would enjoy a spicy affair, as long as you... respect me. Like me. [Why would she? Why would anyone?] Or enjoy my company, anyway. And if that changes, if you tire of my company, or if you meet someone else that you do want exclusivity with, I'd like the courtesy of being told. I'm not sure what exerting independence would look like for you, but I... I suppose I want you to be honest with me about where we stand. Does that... make sense?
cactusy: (the longest‚ crappiest journey)

[personal profile] cactusy 2025-12-12 12:57 pm (UTC)(link)
[Shaw has had this conversation before, more than once, and it's always led to places that she can't go - hence her wariness. But she nods, slowly; all of that does make sense, and all of it's doable.]

Sure. And-- back at you, I guess; if you fall in love with someone and run off into the sunset, keep me up to date.

[She brushes her fingers along the top of Scratch's head. There's one other matter at hand here.]

I'm not the best fuckbuddy right now, though. I haven't been doing... great lately. Since the fog.
tocastashadow: (selûnite 001)

[personal profile] tocastashadow 2025-12-14 07:06 am (UTC)(link)
[Shadowheart smiles in relief at having made it through a conversation that could only be described as profoundly harrowing, but her smile fades as Shaw keeps talking.

Scratch, for his part, sticks his tongue out in delight at having his head rubbed.]


I imagine you're not alone in that.

[For her part, Shadowheart has simply avoided thinking too hard about the fog.]

Do you... want to talk about it? I've been told I'm a good listener. [No one has ever told her that, but she likes to think it's true anyway.] And so is he.

[She means Scratch, of course.]
cactusy: (let the intrusive thoughts win)

[personal profile] cactusy 2025-12-14 02:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Not really. I don't see the point.

[Shaw, as this whole conversation likely shows, has never been big on talking things out.]

I just wanted to teach you how to swim, Shadowheart.
tocastashadow: (selûnite 029)

[personal profile] tocastashadow 2025-12-22 07:24 am (UTC)(link)
Oh. No, of course not.

[She's not sure what else to say, but she does feel dreadfully badly that the fog's had such an effect on Shaw. Shadowheart's had, apparently, forty years to grow accustomed to Mother's barbs, and Mother didn't tell her anything she didn't already know to be true. Not so, she'd guess, with Shaw and the people the fog showed to her.

Like that woman, who Shadowheart can't help but be curious about.]


I can't help but think that Aurora deserves to meet the business end of a poo-scraper for everything she's put us through.
cactusy: (don't worry‚ I'm wearing pants)

[personal profile] cactusy 2025-12-23 12:35 am (UTC)(link)
[Shaw smirks. It's amused, but also a tinge grateful: she may not know all the contours of Shadowheart's opinions on Etraya, but she always appreciates talking to other people who aren't completely sold on the place. The business end of a poo-scraper. Ha.]

I don't do well with not knowing what's real and what isn't.

[She says, as she again motions for Shadowheart to try floating on her back. Come on, buddy; let's multitask.]

I still don't know how much of that actually happened. I don't even know how long it lasted. It felt like months, but it couldn't have been.
tocastashadow: (selûnite 032)

[personal profile] tocastashadow 2025-12-26 09:47 am (UTC)(link)
[If she's supposed to be multitasking, Shadowheart will valiantly attempt to multitask by scrunching her eyes shut and kicking her feet up until she's floating on her back and barely flailing at all.]

No, it was days, I think. Weeks.

[She's not sure herself. It had all been so surreal.]

But it wasn't real. It can't have been.

[Mother can't have been in the fog, she's dead. Shadowheart saw what was left of her when they departed the cloister; Mother can't hurt anybody ever again.

Like the Thorms were all dead? a treacherous voice whispers in the back of her head. Like none of them could hurt anybody ever again?

A voice best ignored, she decides.

She opens her eyes again – carefully, as though doing so might cause her to spontaneously sink – and stares up at the sky.]


Sometimes I forget how beautiful the morning light is.
cactusy: (our big beautiful future cemetery)

[personal profile] cactusy 2025-12-26 02:34 pm (UTC)(link)
[Shaw watches her closely, ready to swoop in if she needs to - but pleased that she doesn't need to. Good job not drowning; you're doing great, sweetie.]

The comment about the morning light doesn't tempt her gaze upwards, but she does grunt quietly in acknowledgement.]


Let your focus drift; see if you can still float on instinct even when you're thinking about something else. Are you, uh-- a big nature fan?

[People who think about how pretty the sky is usually are, right?]