un: ulysses | video

[restingstitchface]

[On the latest feed: a man with combed hair, a clean face, a mismatched suit and a pair of rimless glasses. Video is streaming from an office where one might spot a painting of an anguished man. He closes his eyes and fixes his lenses on his nose, looking away while leaning forward. His preference is for messaging, but today he is showing his face. He inhales in a calm and controlled manner. Facial cues encourage trust. He prefers to remain unobserved, but this should encourage a positive impression.

Unless you’re Batman, apparently.]

Well, that was a terrible couple of weeks.

In any case, my apologies for the intrusion. I was managing the aftermath and hesitant to reach out until today. I have nothing further to add except that I understand you might feel nervous. But if you resist those feelings, you will have to face them again, and when they catch you…

[He swallows his sentence and focuses on his reason for posting, grounding himself in the present moment by inhaling.]

Back home I treat people for support with their mental health. I had excellent resources there but here I can offer nothing but a listening ear. Perhaps you would like to take me up on that? It’s not like you need insurance and sometimes it’s good to talk.

Feel free to contact me. I'm here to help.

Comments

[fortitudosalutis]

Don’t do the thank you for your service thing.

[ Just saying that right off the bat. Carver’s never had much patience for that. ]

The world ended. Should probably mention that. I had other priorities

[restingstitchface]

It was nothing more than observation of the system. I dislike false platitudes.

[Both giving and receiving and the reason is simple. They're offensive.]

Though I should note both of your points are complicated. Where would you prefer to begin?

[fortitudosalutis]

People got sick. And then they died and their corpses came back hungry.

It went about how you’d think.

I was out of the army by then. Working as a contractor. We went back to war then. Some of us survived for a while.

[restingstitchface]

[The world ended, then. One situation can easily create the other.]

Well, I can't say I understand that position, having never endured it myself. My world is mundane compared to others. But I can imagine you were under enormous amounts of stress. Though perhaps stress isn't the word. I

I suppose nothing quite summarises it, really...

[fortitudosalutis]

War sums it up.

[restingstitchface]

I have to admit it does. The word itself points to general patterns of adaptation and behaviour, if nothing else. Though I hardly want to refer to your experiences as anything so general. But I think there's something to be said for the fact you possibly find more understanding in your comrades than the general public?

[fortitudosalutis]

Civilians didn't get it before the world ended. No offense. And nobody's a civilian now.

I stayed with my unit after things got fucked. The commander and the sergeant kept everyone going. We stuck together until the end.

[restingstitchface]

That's dedication. What kept you all around? I can observe the odds of survival increase exponentially, but I can also imagine there's more to it than that.

[fortitudosalutis]

We all did tours in Korengal Valley.

[ The Valley of Death. ]

We saw God there, all of us. We believed. I didn’t have anyone left but them. None of us did.

[restingstitchface]

Spirituality often comes at times of great stress and upheaval. Those moments that challenge our worldview. Some people only find God after losing their loved ones, right?

[fortitudosalutis]

Gods loves us best when we suffer.

[restingstitchface]

Of course. God needs people to suffer in order to believe they need saving. Divine beings traditionally punish humanity for stepping outside their designated path in general mythology.

[fortitudosalutis]

Yeah

[ There's a pause. Then: ]

Or people need God to believe there's a point to it

[restingstitchface]

Better to believe we exist and suffer and thrive for a train, rather then to accept we exist because of an act of random chance; that we exist for no reason at all.

[fortitudosalutis]

Most people are evil, selfish little shits. When it gets bad, it helps knowing there's a point. Something higher.

train should be reason oops

[restingstitchface]

Well, we all have a high point we worship to regulate ourselves. Some people look to God. Others look to family. For myself it's work.

Is it God for you? Because one's opinion of God changes between one man and the next, right?

np!

[fortitudosalutis]

Yeah
I don't expect other people to believe what I do
It was never like that

[ God is personal. Singular. More complicated now. ]

[restingstitchface]

[It seems too early to ask what people believe he does, and then what he actually does. But he notes it mentally and sets it aside.]

Then why not describe it in your own words?

[fortitudosalutis]

[ There's another pause. This is the part that's gone wrong in the past. ]

God is blood on the ground. Bone chips shining in the sun. We survive because we endure. That's how we know we're loved.

[restingstitchface]

[Those words sound like a litany. But the belief is not mainstream. He would call it extreme, given the imagery of each sentence. Words associated with programming, mind-control...]

That sounds intense. Can you share what it means to you?

[fortitudosalutis]

We run into the fire. We don't fear death so we fight harder. God approves, so we live.

Not really a metaphor.

[restingstitchface]

That sounds like something that once offered power and purpose. How does your body feel when you think about it now?

[fortitudosalutis]

Tight. Brittle.

[restingstitchface]

Well, our bodies retain our experiences long after they have happened. Where in your body do you feel that tightness?

[fortitudosalutis]

Chest. Throat. Hands sometimes. We were trained to control that in combat conditions. Doesn't hit me then.