UN: clicksandgiggles | Video

[saychocobo]

Steady... steady...

[ The feed wobbles and keeps refocusing on Prompto's too close face as he adjusts the stack of books he's pressed into serving as a makeshift tripod. His face is pure concentration: lips pressed thin, eyes squinted, nose twitching every time the video tilts to one side.

Behind him, the apartment is pretty empty: a single couch, cost rack rigged up with hangers to "wear" his chocobo costume, and what's either a pile of random shit or perhaps a coffee table under a pile of random shit.

Prompto steps back until more of him's in frame. He nods to himself - the feed looks good. ]

Okay, now I got it.

[ Cue showtime, and it's like someone flipped the on switch. He gives a little two-finger salute and plasters a grin on his face. ]

Hey, hey, what's up, everybody! It's your boy Prompto here, coming at ya from... the apartment.

[ He spins around, arms wide like he's showing off a luxury suite instead of a greige-walled one-bedroom. The spin ends with him catching his balance and laughing. ]

Okay, I know - I've seen roadside motels with more personality. I keep telling myself it's got potential, but I grew up on that whole minimalist chic thing and thought I could branch out. Open to decorating suggestions, by the way - I-I've never had my own place.

[ He rocks on his heels with his hands behind his back, leaning forward toward the camera. It's so much easier to do this with people in front of him feed off their reactions and adjust, but he doesn't want to hide behind text. ]

Anyway... I've been settlin' in, checking out the neighborhood, figuring out where I can do my usual stuff - got my morning run totally mapped out - but, uh, one small problem.

[ He raises a finger dramatically. ]

I can't find a decent place for target practice. Am I missing it? I might've missed it. There's so much here for so few people... it's cool if there's not a real range - I could paint a target on a tree if I had to, but I'd kinda feel bad for the tree?

[ Prompto sighs as he flops down onto the couch with his arms draped over his knees. ]

So - anybody know a good spot nearby? Nothing fancy - just somewhere I won't accidentally shoot up a trolley or window. Close enough to get to, far enough that the noise isn't going to bother anybody?

Outdoors'd work. Maybe something with a nice view? Photog breaks aren't required,but...

[ He tilts his head like he's considering it seriously, then chuckles. ]

No, yeah, they're required. Everybody's allowed mental breaks.

Drop me your best recs in the comments, yeah? And remember to like, subscribe and follow! Heh. I-I always wanted to say that, and I don't care if we don't have those features.

[ He's run outta steam pretty quick, but he's asked what he wanted. Prom repeats the mock-salute, this time as a sign off. ]

Catch ya next time, when hopefully I'm not shooting Cup Noodles offa my windowsill. I'm kidding!

Prompto out.

Comments

[saychocobo]

The kind that wants to walk away breathing??? I love pets - chocobos, dogs - they're great. I'm talking about beasts that go after anybody who strays off the roads!

What kinda psycho thinks killing people is awesome?

[taxevasion]

You're telling me you're totally okay with killing an animal in it's natural habitat because a stupid human went out of their way to go there?

Uh, when the people are criminals, duh.

[saychocobo]

Yes?! I know its not the best look, but people are important too!

I don't expect you to get that 'cause killing people is "awesome." That's some twisted logic.

[taxevasion]

Yeah. Bad ones! Stopping a murderer or drug dealer from hurting more people is great!

[saychocobo]

[ Okay, that's not a bad thing in and of itself... but he still makes a face. ]

Yeah - hey, I'm not tryin' to say that they shouldn't be stopped, but you can't just kill people! There's supposed to be law and order for a reason.

[taxevasion]

Yeah, I know! They break the law. I bring the order. It's really more efficient this way.

You know, it's sounding like you don't want to hang out anymore?

[saychocobo]

And - what? Everyone's just magically okay with that? How do you know they broke the law? Who said you're my order guy? Hold on. Are we talking "back home" or here?

[ Now he has some real concerns. ]

I don't even know what the laws are here. I'm not gonna go do target practice with someone who shoots people and thinks it's awesome. How do I know I'm not gonna be the target?!

[taxevasion]

[Ignoring all of what Prompto says before the last part:]

Pretty sure there's no laws here, and you didn't do anything bad as far as I know, so you're not the target. Come on, we were gonna have fun! Don't be a huge dildo about it.

video » un: samil

[rowd]

Who the hell uses dildo as an insult? The context doesn't even make sense here, man, you can do way better.

still text!!!

[taxevasion]

It makes sense because he's being a pain in the ass.

[saychocobo]

[ Prompto snorts. ]

Oh c'mon. I'm so much better at being a pain in the ass than a dildo.

cw: this isn't allusions to gore but is now about anal

[rowd]

Should've stuck with pain in the ass. Dildos shouldn't hurt if you use 'em right, now you're just giving anal a bad name.

[saychocobo]

[ He has absolutely no idea. ]

O-okay... isn't that kinda what I said? If I'm better ...?

[rowd]

I'm agreeing with you.

[taxevasion]

Yeah? Because at least some people can have fun with dildos?

[saychocobo]

So go buy one. Shoot with that.

[taxevasion]

Maybe I will! Maybe I'll even make a gun that even shoots dildos! Then when I shoot you with it, non-lethally, you'll be like, wow! I wouldn't be on the other end of this if I had just agreed to hang out!

[saychocobo]

[ Just - breathe through the nose. He's not gonna surrender the last word to the inventor of the dildo gun. ]

Okay, dude. My guy. I need you to chill the fuck out, stop hitting send for sixty seconds and reread that a few times while you think about a little somethin' I like to call euphemisms.

You with me?

'Cause you're not. my type.

[taxevasion]

Woah, hey, okay, I'm not hitting on you! You're not MY type either, even if you have blond hair and soft facial features.

[saychocobo]

[ Prompto points at the camera. ]

Yeah, that. But what should ya expect from the guy that wants me to go to the park with him if he promises me real nice that he's not gonna hit me over the head with shovel?

[rowd]

I promise real nice that he won't hit you over the head with a shovel.

I can hit him over the head instead, he's hardy.

[taxevasion]

Ugh! No one's inviting you!

[rowd]

Now you're just breaking my heart.

[taxevasion]

Well it'll heal won't it?

[rowd]

Physically stabbing me through the heart an' not inviting me to shootouts are two entirely different kind of heartbreaks.