un: kidomega | text

[querulus]

clark kent
accelerator
nero
cid telamon
john reese
arthur morgan
damian wayne
antigone

i need all you people to each answer one (1) weirdly specific question. it's for a computer.

[OOC: Part of Sophie's player plot!]

Comments

[newsbeat]

/Okay well now we're all on the same page./

[sophielicious]

/Clark, honey, my dearest, my darlingest, my source of daily joy. Please give me your middle name, before I fucking lose it./

[newsbeat]

/Awww, I bring you DAILY joy?

It's Joseph./

[sophielicious]

/You buy it with food.

Wait, forreal? Fucking A+./

[newsbeat]

/I'm not sure my cooking is THAT good but I'll accept the compliment.

Yeah, after my grandfather./

[sophielicious]

/Shut up.

Okay. Word. Thanks for not being a headache and making us go around a billion circles./

[newsbeat]

/Sure. Let me know if you need anything else./

[sophielicious]

/... A bottle of wine and that risotto you make for when I'm out? Pretty please? With cherries on top?/

[newsbeat]

/Done.

Well no done, the risotto will take a little bit. But you know what I mean./

[If he can find a couple of cherries he's actually going to put them on the risotto just to be funny.]

[querulus]

/You get points for being the only one smart enough to not talk about this shit on the fucking network so hey, good for you.

And to answer your question, why wouldn't it have your middle name? Shithole's got all our other personal info. Histories, memories, biometric shit. Can shut off our powers, show us our darkest fears, blah blah blah. Why everybody's getting their panties in a twist about some fucking names is beyond me./

[newsbeat]

/Yeah but as a security question? It's just strange, that's all./

[querulus]

/Look around you, buddy. You see anything here that doesn't qualify as "strange"?/

[newsbeat]

/Yes, plenty? I have a high bar for strange. There's a lot of it here, but normal stuff too./

[querulus]

/Let me rephrase. If you see something strange here, are you surprised?/

[newsbeat]

/Okay, fair. Decent point. I maintain that this is extra strange, or at least strange in a different way from usual./

[querulus]

/Well, if it makes you feel better, there's a decent chance it's just a goddamn ragebait machine./

[newsbeat]

/That does not make me feel better.

Why do you think it might be?

[querulus]

/Because like—okay, look. Do you know to piece together a partially deconstructed variation of an 1981 IBM Model 5150?/

[newsbeat]

/I skipped that elective in college./

[querulus]

/Yeah, well, I do know how to put it together. And it was found by Sophie, aka someone who knows me and knows that I could fix it.

Right, so she finds it, I fix it. Then what's it do? Spit out a list of names and seemingly innocuous questions, except hey, turns out most of those questions are super triggering to some of the pissiest, least trusting fuckers in this shithole. With, you know, a couple of softballs thrown in there. You, Jayce—kinda—guy from my universe. Freebies. Enough to give the illusion of progress when really all it takes is one of these assholes to not cough up an answer, and we may as well not have any of them.

See? It's fucking rage bait./

[newsbeat]

/I hate that this makes a surprising amount of sense.

[querulus]

/Makes perfect sense.

Now I just gotta figure out how to win this./

[newsbeat]

/Let me know if you do./