etraya | un: Bachelor

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un: Bachelor | text

Attention Fellow People of Etraya,

I am Doctor Daniil Dankovsky, Bachelor of Medicine. As I understand it, few of you have seen a doctor lately. That simply won’t do! Please, don’t wait to get sick to establish care. I am situated in the hospital, ready to take consent forms and make updated medical histories. At least a few of you have unaddressed concerns, I just know it. The average person comes to see the doctor when it’s too late! Though we cannot die here, there is no reason to suffer unduly.

And if you are otherwise healthy, perhaps think of it as helping me out. In the event of an outbreak, it is far more helpful to have complete clinical pictures of the inhabitants. Especially, as I understand it, there are many biological differences in this population.

Please come visit me during my clinic hours, every day from 10am to 6pm.

[What Daniil really wants is to meet more of the unusual inhabitants of Etraya more quickly as well as conduct casual interviews of the sort of people who are slated to save the universe. But he can’t just say that completely outright.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

To keep me away, then? No worries, engineer. I’m a bit too busy to stalk any more recalcitrant patients today.

How is your leg? Have you made a decision?

Username change, huh?

[ Yeah, he's going to point it out. ]

That's a shame, I had a few jokes lined up for the old one.

Anyway, after this next mission, I'll do whatever I need to do to get it fixed up. Surgery, bedrest, the whole deal.

Oh did you know?

“Oh Dankovsky, there are more subtle ways to go about saying you’re looking for a wife.” “Yes, Dankovsky, everyone has a Bachelor’s in the year 3000, you simple antiquated fool. Shall I fetch your rocks so you can show us fire?”

[If you beat them to the joke, it stings less, that’s for certain.]

Maybe you’re not so the recalcitrant patient I had you pegged for. I’m happy to hear that, Talis.

Do you mind if I ask you a couple of personal questions here, or would you like to come in to the hospital?

Oh, no. I was going to show you this. Oh well. Dankovsky it is.

I figured it was about time I stopped annoying Viktor with my own stubbornness.

Is the hospital part necessary to just answer a few questions?

[Ten minutes pass as he reads the entire thing to ascertain precisely what Jayce is getting at. This is a lot for a man who has only seen silent films. And hasn’t dated.]

I suppose you don’t need to come in. The hospital would be preferable, but I think I can find a compromise. I’ll turn on the private setting.

However, I would like you to come in after the next mission for a full physical.

Tell me, do you enjoy this “The Bachelor” picture show? This premise of a dozen women and a single man?

And should I know a Viktor?

My question was this: Have you experienced death?

Edited 2026-05-02 00:51 (UTC)

[This is how he bonds. Traumatizing his conversation partner.]

Yes, fine. I will.

I saw an episode of it, and if I'm honest, it was difficult to watch. Really not my kind of thing. But the chance to make a joke about the name wasn't something I could pass up.

No, I suppose not. He's my partner.

And no, I haven't. Not yet. Maybe soon? Want me to let you know when it happens?

Laboratory partner? Business partner?

[Romantic partner?]

[The innocuous joke about this television program has only cemented a certain line of thought in his head.]

Hopefully you never need to. But yes, I am collecting data on deaths here.

Every kind.

Very proactive of you. What do you know about it so far? I'll see if there's anything I can tell you that you don't already know.

Careful with your words, Talis. I might misunderstand you.

I could be more proactive. I don’t know much. I realized I was gathering data from the wrong side of things. May have angered some super-powered aliens that could kill me with a single look. I understand that dying and coming back ordinarily comes with a price or a loss.

I am an outlier, according to someone else. I was murdered my first night here, yet I revived immediately. I understand that there is ordinarily a wait of forty-eight hours as well as no ordinary physical scarring. My revival was immediate and left marks on my skin.

Do you know of any additional details here?

I'm not sure what you'd be misunderstanding. I meant what I said.

[And then he reads more, about Daniil being murdered already and he abruptly switches to video.]

Wait, you- already? Who did it? That's...

[He's kind of shook, actually. He knows not everyone here is quite so friendly, but murdering a new guy right away?]

[He’d already heard of men casually with other men from Gary Green. Was he again the outlier? Oh, he’s starting a video. Very well.]

It was a misunderstanding from the hand of a drunken vagrant. Arthur Morgan. He was kind enough once I was conscious again. Nevermind. I’m fine.

Please, our cultures and understandings of the implicit are different. Do me the favor and spell these things out. You were lab partners, not intimate partners, yes?

I’ve already been made a fool in front of children, aliens, and elves. I’m not sure how much more I can take.

"Kind enough" doesn't cut it if he's killing first and asking questions later. I'll have words with him.

[Arthur Morgan is officially on his shit list.]

We were lab partners who became intimate partners. I'm sorry if that wasn't clear enough, I'm not trying to make you seem foolish.

I’d agree. I truly take no pleasure in pointing a pistol at anyone. Which makes me think that he was scared as well. Either way, I’ve survived the encounter, which is more than most men who have had a bullet travel through their bodies can say.

He has consumption, yet he smells like alcohol and tobacco. He has other matters to worry about.

[Daniil just listens to this. He involuntarily imagines one of his assistants in this position and frowns.]

Is that sort of thing really so common here? Can you really speak so openly about it?

All the more reason to get it through to him he's not in a position to be picking fights just because he's scared.

[Guard dog goes bark bark bark bark.]

It is. This may come as an even greater surprise, but there's also no formal set of laws here either. We're a small enough population that matters are handled personally, and as long as no one gets hurt, people are allowed to do as they want.

[He's beginning to see where the issue might stem here. It was never a problem in Piltover, nor Zaun. Classism was the more defining feature that kept couples apart, and even then, a certain level of privilege would give you a pass. Jayce voice goes a little quieter, softer.]

So if you have any other questions, I'm around. I can listen.

Please, there’s no reason to look into it.

[I don’t need you to know I was in my blood soaked smallclothes climbing out of a mushroom costume. Where do I even start with that? ]

I suppose it makes sense. We are all on equal footing, and we should all be of the same mind. Save our worlds, no matter the cost.

[Any question? Oh, about the matter of homosexuality, as Gary put it.]

It’s not that… those things are explicitly against the law. But they don’t bode well for a long and fruitful career. It’s hard for the Academy to relate to such proclivities. Not that I judge such actions. I’m not bound by scripture, nor by the ideals of small minded men.

However, a tightrope must be walked in the court of public opinion. It’s hard to convince the masses to wash their hands when they’re focused upon a man’s personal life.

[Oh, maybe Daniil fears retaliation? That seems fair.]

I won't mention your name or any specifics. I promise. Even if I'm a terrible leader-

[Said with an ounce more bitterness than fits the rest of the sentence-]

I'm trying to at least make sure everyone here understands we're supposed to be on the same team.

[A new effort, on his behalf.]

Ah. Well... no need for that tightrope here. The common acceptance of my kind of relationship with Viktor is just as well regarded as washing hands is.

Oh, you’re a leader? [Said with levity. He knows how being in charge of idiots could wash away a man’s standing.] Sorry, a terrible one?

[Daniil chuckles.]

From my experience, the masses regard both of those very poorly. But I’d rather hear about your leadership.

I know it wasn't my strong suit, but it's one thing to know it, and another to be told it.

[Sorry Sophie. He's still sulking.]

You'd really rather not. Ask me about just about anything else. That one requires dinner first.

I’ve been told plenty of things to my face that weren’t true.

[His voice is playful and sympathetic.]

You want dinner? As long as I don’t have to cook it myself, I could arrange it. I’m not much of a chef, and I don’t have much of a kitchen anyway. So… Why not now? We could go into that restaurant a couple stops from Alcyone’s Wake. “The Diner”, I believe. They have somewhere quiet to sit and talk. It’s right off the trolley. Unless dinner was meant to be a deterrent.

[ It was meant to be a deterrent, but Daniil sounds so sincere about it. Daniil's new, he's already died, and it sounds like if anything, he might need a friend. All things Jayce can't resist trying to help him with. ]

... Okay. Alright. The Diner it is.

[he certainly does need a friend after the week he’s had and made worse for himself. Daniil is a bit closer to the Diner and shows up first as a consequence. He politely waits outside as it gets dark, his doctor bag held in his hand. He probably went everywhere with it.]

[The Diner is right off the trolley, and Daniil keeps his eyes peeled in that direction. He ponders what he’d just learned about the other man. Openly partners with another man. A great engineer, a poor leader perhaps. But he consented to coming here and letting Daniil learn a bit more about him.]

[ He knows it's getting late, and in the interest of not having Daniil wait around in the dark any longer than necessary, Jayce takes a shortcut he doesn't often use: superpowered flight. The powers he retained from their trip to another world sure come in handy when he's trying to be more expedient with his travel- with the new consequence of making him a little nauseous when he flies. He didn't used to feel this way when first using it, but ever since the Ravine...

Jayce lands within a few feet of the diner with a grunt, it always hurts his leg a little when he lets gravity take back over, and offers Daniil a nod. ]

Hope you like greasy food. This place isn't known for its salads.

[Jayce’s arrival leaves Daniil with his jaw hanging open.]

You fly as well. Are you some sort of alien, too?

[Still, he notes the grunt. That leg doesn’t like impact.]

[Daniil doesn’t look particularly excited about the prospect of greasy food, not that he was a big salad eater either. But he’ll cope. He was mainly relieved to be taking meals in a town that didn’t just smell like cowshit and rot.]

[He opens the door for Jayce, obviously looking at his leg to watch him walk after that impact. From up close, he notes something else, too.]

You look a little unwell.

Edited 2026-05-02 17:11 (UTC)

Hah. No. This is from my time here. A remainder of a mission.

[ The first few steps are limped slightly, but he gets back a more normal walking speed as he gets used to it. ]

Unwell?

[ As he steps into the diner, he brings his fist to his mouth and exhales into it, trying to ease the nausea. ]

Oh. Yeah. Flying too long does that to me now. I'll be fine.

I am a doctor. No need to make yourself worse on my account. In fact, I expressly forbid it.

[Still, the idea that the ability to fly could merely be granted? ]

[They’re seated, and the juxtaposition of the scenery and decor against the level of service and variety of food on the menu is strange.]

There are familiar things here, but… pancakes with syrup? Not jam? Not caviar? There’s no fish here…

A lot of eggs and toasted bread.

Do you even have an appetite after that flying? I saw you limp through the door. Did you hurt yourself?

[He turns to a bot.] Bring my friend a peppermint tea, please.

un:Dankovsky (he changed it since creating this post.)

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