un: Bachelor | text

[thantagonist]

Attention Fellow People of Etraya,

I am Doctor Daniil Dankovsky, Bachelor of Medicine. As I understand it, few of you have seen a doctor lately. That simply won’t do! Please, don’t wait to get sick to establish care. I am situated in the hospital, ready to take consent forms and make updated medical histories. At least a few of you have unaddressed concerns, I just know it. The average person comes to see the doctor when it’s too late! Though we cannot die here, there is no reason to suffer unduly.

And if you are otherwise healthy, perhaps think of it as helping me out. In the event of an outbreak, it is far more helpful to have complete clinical pictures of the inhabitants. Especially, as I understand it, there are many biological differences in this population.

Please come visit me during my clinic hours, every day from 10am to 6pm.


[What Daniil really wants is to meet more of the unusual inhabitants of Etraya more quickly as well as conduct casual interviews of the sort of people who are slated to save the universe. But he can’t just say that completely outright.]

Comments

[thantagonist]

[For all the flying people had talked about, this was his first time actually seeing it. He takes a moment to marvel, there’s no way to be casual about it.]

[I wonder if I could convince my mother that Jesus had a goatee and a 50 inch chest if she saw this.]

[Daniil, by contrast, is a coathanger of a man.]

Hernan, I presume. Please come back to the exam room with me.

[sonofzod]

[ A coathanger that Hernan takes his time to appraise. Though he's certainly not listened to every human heartbeat, he's listened to enough of them to notice when there's something strange going on. But he decides not to comment on it. Instead, he follows Daniil to the exam room and doesn't wait to be offered a seat before he's sitting down. ]

So what exactly do you want to do?

[thantagonist]

An ordinary exam, whichever parts of it we can physically complete.

[Daniil opens his casebook. It’s full of photographs of patients, conditions, notes. Look. 1920 wasn’t known for its locked down security and patient confidentiality here.]

I’ll see if I can sort out how to complete exam when I think about it later.

[He said he wasn’t from Earth, and it’s likely he’s never had an exam. It would be reasonable to explain it to him.]

First, I will ask you about your lifestyle and go over any complaints you might have ever had. I take vitals. Then, the physical. You will remove your clothing for an exam. It requires me to look at you and touch parts of you. Then, I take samples. You can redress for this portion if it’s only blood, saliva, or mucous.

Do you consent?

[sonofzod]

Yes that's fine.

[ For a moment, he remembers Dr. Psycho. The grand promises he made to improve on something in Hernan. To make him better. At the time it seemed like a good idea. The end results, however, would beg to differ. Maybe he should be cautious here, considering he really didn't know Daniil, and if anything the erratic rhythm of his organs should be off putting. But he thinks there's nothing this man could do to hurt him. And if he did, well, all Hernan would need is a little sunlight. ]

But I have no complaints. I've never been sick.

[ Brutally maimed by a magical lion, shot to hell with red sun guns, stabbed with a kryptonite knife. But not sick. ]

[thantagonist]

Wonderful, then let us begin.

Hernan. Do you have a family name? And how old are you?

[Daniil sits on his tall, swiveling chair, long legs loosely crossed.]

[He notes that he’d never been sick, but he’s sure that he has been in combat. Just based on the other superheroes, honestly.]

[sonofzod]

[ The name his family gave him seems irrelevant in the context of a medical exam. He doesn't have their genetics, whatever would make them ill simply would not affect him.

Zod didn't seem very relevant either. Besides, he wasn't going to hand a random stranger something as personal as his Kryptonian name. ]

It's Guerra and I'm 40 years old.

[thantagonist]

[Silly man, Daniil just needs it for his files. They’re incredibly low tech.]

Do you drink? Smoke?


[Even if being Kryptonian is absolutely the most crucially useful information he could give Daniil.]

[sonofzod]

[ It's still too personal. ]

Drink? Yes. All the time. Alcohol doesn't affect me. I do not smoke.

[thantagonist]

Interesting. Why do you drink if it does not affect you? Simply partial to the taste?

[Danill doesn’t mind taking a winding path down to the point when it suits him. ]

[sonofzod]

I spent a long time pretending I was human. It helped me to blend in.

[ Hernan shrugs. ]

But I do like the taste.

[thantagonist]

Hm, well. If it can’t harm your body, I see no reason to object from a medical point of view. How much do you drink?

[He notes alcoholism, in quotation marks. He pops his stethoscope into his ears, wondering what a person who cannot be pierced is made of. How was he meant to take blood pressure?]

Has anyone ever taken your blood pressure, Hernan? [He sort of mimics a cuff closing down over his own forearm.]

[sonofzod]

Not everyday, but usually whenever I feel like it.

[ Usually socially. Sometimes when he's watching the news and it's annoyed him. ]

No. But I've seen it done with my padre. You're welcome to try it out on me.