Chirper

[etrayamods]

CHIRPER
Welcome to our bi-monthly CHIRPER post!

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<lj-raw><div style="display: flex; justify-content: center;"> <div style="display:grid; grid-template-columns: 1fr, 2fr, 1fr; grid-template-rows: min-content min-content min-content min-content; font-size: 10pt;"> <div style="grid-column-start: 2; grid-column-end: 2;"> <center><big><big><b>USERNAME</b></big></big></center> <img src="IMAGE URL" style="width: 245px; border-radius: 15px; border: 1px solid #7F7F7F; box-shadow: #8D8D8D 1px 1px 1px;"> </div> <div style="grid-column-start: 2; grid-column-end: 2;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: space-between;"> <span style="min-width: 125px"><b>NAME ▷ </b></span> <span style="text-align: right">ANSWER</span> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: space-between;"> <span style="min-width: 125px"><b>AGE ▷ </b></span> <span style="text-align: right">ANSWER</span> </div><div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: space-between;"> <span style="min-width: 125px"><b>RESIDENCE ▷ </b></span> <span style="text-align: right">ANSWER</span> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: space-between;"> <span style="min-width: 125px"><b>CHOCOBO COLOR ▷ </b></span> <span style="text-align: right">ANSWER</span> </div> </div> <div style="grid-column-start: 1; grid-column-end: 4; padding-top: 2em;"> <b>Getting to know you!</b> <p><b>Q:</B> What accomplishment are you most proud of? <br><B>A:</B> ANSWER <p><b>Q:</B> Describe a time you made a mistake. What did you learn from it? <br><B>A:</B> ANSWER <p><b>Q:</B> How do you react under pressure? <br><B>A:</B> ANSWER <p><b>Q:</B> It's time for spring cleaning! Which domestic chore do you dislike the most? <br><B>A:</B> ANSWER </div><div style="grid-column-start: 1; grid-column-end: 4;"><center><span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#2EB82E;">✅</span>  <span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#CC0000;">❌</span> </div> </div> </div></lj-raw>

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✅ audio | un: adrian

[taxevasion]

Oh, so you went to Alabama.

[pardamned]

[Arthur switches to audio, and Adrian gets a bit of a chuckle from him.]

The Southerners do love their traditions, don't they? But nah, it weren't Alabama. Was in Lemoyne, which ain't much different.

[taxevasion]

Lemoyne where? What state?

[pardamned]

...Lemoyne is the state, ain't you heard of it?

[taxevasion]

Lemoyne is not a state. It's not even like, historically a state. Oh my god, are you an alien?

[pardamned]

I ain't no goddamn alien! It is a state, not a good one, honestly it's pretty damn awful, but that don't stop it from being one! Maybe you need to travel more, kid.

[taxevasion]

Woaaah there, pardner. You're from a weird alternative Earth, that's all. Makes you an alien to me. I know I'm right, because Wikipedia says Lemoyne is a college named after a guy. Not a state.

[pardamned]

Wiki-who? Listen, I don't give a shit what your friend says, I know what I'm talking about. Just because you ain't been there don't mean it don't exist.

[He really is not wanting to dig into whatever the hell alternative Earth means. Accepting there's other worlds is big enough pill to swallow!]

[taxevasion]

I know you think you know what you're talking about.

You know we're on another planet right now, right? And this isn't some long crazy dream you had while smoking peyote?

[pardamned]

I do, and I also know if you don't shut your mouth then it won't be the only part of you flapping in the goddamn wind.

[taxevasion]

Settle down, buckaroo. What are you even packing, huh? I'm guessing a revolver or something, right?

[pardamned]

Something like that. You know how to shoot a gun, or you only know how to shoot your mouth?

[taxevasion]

Uh, yeah, I'm from eastern Washington. Everyone here knows how to shoot a gun.

[ Fuck, why'd he have to log in as ADRIAN and not as VIGILANTE. Idiot move!! ]

[pardamned]

Washington, huh? Lot of beautiful country out that way, you'd be a damn fool if you didn't know how to use a gun. But shooting wildlife ain't the same as shooting men, so I'd advise you start thinking before you speak. Don't need to be pissing off the wrong feller.

[taxevasion]

[ Genuinely it's destroying him from within he can't just out himself as the marksman that he is. So, different tactic: ]

You sound like you've killed someone before. What were they guilty of? Pissing you off?

[pardamned]

Among other things. I shoot men who needs shooting, what dictates that necessity varies.

[Arthur normally wouldn't care to talk like this so easily, but Adrian has annoyed him enough that he's talking tough to forge distance.]

[taxevasion]

So you're a murderer, easily triggered into violence through blows to your ego.

[pardamned]

You wanna find out yourself, tough guy?

[taxevasion]

[ The slightest, barest difference in tone: ]

I've heard enough.

[pardamned]

[Interesting...]

That so? Well, if you find your balls let me know, will ya?

1/2

[taxevasion]

[ He's almost going to be cool about this. He's going to cool-guys-dont-look-at-explosions this.

Until Arthur mentions his balls. ]

[taxevasion]

Oh, YOU'RE going to find my balls, being dragged all over your face.

[ fuck that got him. ]

[pardamned]

[That gets a grin out of Arthur, unseen by Adrian of course.]

While I don't doubt a little feller like you might give them saloon girls a run for their money, I can't say I'm all too interested in your services.

[taxevasion]

It's not- a sex thing! It's called TEABAGGING. You do it when you WIN.

[pardamned]

Wait, let me get this straight. When you win against another feller, you take your balls out and put them on his face—and this ain't a sex thing?