etraya | voice | un: vsmith

Good for you.

[ Vincent can't help but be snide. ]

Because that person put all their weight into both stabs. Still, you're right! I didn't die immediately. The first one didn't do me in. I was bleeding out comfortably listening to what was going on. I could still crawl across the ground and maybe with some tenacity, I might have been able to find help.

But sadly, the second one did me in.

Not at all! Surviving meant I had to suffer the pain for a long time. It was terrible!

[More incredibly normal and typical reactions from Osamu Dazai.]

Anyway, you're missing the point of what I'm asking. I know that death is inevitable after losing 0.53 gallons of blood or after the destruction of a vital organ. The question isn't whether you would've died from your wounds, which any reasonable person can be certain of depending on the circumstances, but how you know you actually died. Even recorded accounts of patients resuscitated after clinical death vary in terms of the subjective experience of the individual, after all. Yet, there's an inevitable process of loss of consciousness that occurs between the cessation of your heart and reaching a state of irreversible brain death, the length of which is debated by neuroscientists.

[This is the man you need to work with for a whole mission, I'm so sorry Vincent.]

Can you guarantee you were disrupted from your universe after the latter point? Or did you simply pass out from the second blow, in a situation where no resuscitation could've realistically occurred?

[He does have a genuine reason for being pedantic about this, at least. Not that he's going to be upfront about it.]

Edited 2024-11-18 07:09 (UTC)

Ah, well, better luck next time, I guess.

[ His shoulders bounce in an idle shrug. ]

I'm glad that you're a reasonable person to understand that much. Don't worry. That lunatic destroyed the heart in the second attack. [ If he's upset about the questions, he doesn't show it. If anything, he's confirming himself that he's dead. Why? Well -- that'd be telling. ] Anyway, a person died here and was resurrected. I'm under the impression that's -- while not common place because we're not psychopaths -- is something that happens to the dead here.

Isn't that enough confirmation that I died and was brought here?

This is Echo-san's domain. It's all but certain we are being watched at every moment. In that case, it's not so difficult to believe such a powerful entity might be able to revive a person from their instant of death.

[Though the implications are a bit alarming when he considers that Sam's corpse was supposedly literally eaten, which either means 1) Hannibal was lying 2) Echo has the power to recreate an identical copy of a dead body from scratch and replace a consciousness within it. Occam's razor would suggest the former explanation, but he'll reserve judgment for now. More important is the following:]

But it's considerably different if Echo is able to reverse death outside of those parameters, from various worlds with different metaphysics, which presumably aren't as readily monitored in real time.

[ Vincent supposes he could mention Heather at this time. He could say she could confirm he was well and truly dead. However, he would rather not. Too unpredictable and anyway, he told her not to talk too much about home.

He pauses to mull over what he's said versus what is being said. Because he is nothing if not a hypocrite.

What do people know? He died and was stabbed twice by a lunatic. Fine.

But, if people compare notes, he is of a religious background of the Holy Woman... 'ch. He shouldn't have said that -- anyone close to Silent Hill might recognize Her name. But he thinks he only said that to one person. Saying his God is a woman isn't too damning and if he remains vague about where he came from ... he could be from anywhere. Okay.

Evaluation of what is known about him carried through. He nods then realizes right he should answer what is being prompted. ]

Aren't you being a little too logical about this? No, rather aren't you asking the wrong question?

If Echo can't reverse death, then how can she save universes?

None of our universes have been destroyed yet. Aurora-chan confirmed that they will not be as long as we continue to participate in missions.

[Which in its own right is concerning, honestly. What happens when you don't comply? How immediately does it happen? Or was that answer its own sort of test?]

To my understanding, what Echo-san intends to do is not save universes directly, but preserve the integrity of the multiverse by culling some of the individual universes within it. What we're here to do is convince Echo-san to spare ours from destruction.

Edited 2024-11-19 06:49 (UTC)

Fair enough.

So, that said, with the power she is said to wield, why do you believe she suddenly is fallible in this one thing?

Edited (Then I went... that's not the right word.) 2024-11-19 06:56 (UTC)

That's a false equivalence. Destructive power, regardless of the scale, isn't equivalent to the ability to restore what's already been lost.

But someone has already been restored.

At this point, what are you arguing? We were chosen at random and she decided to choose a corpse. What of it?

I was just an average person with no "powers." [ He tries to use the word as someone who has never experienced such before. ] It is far odder that I was chosen out of anyone else, honestly.

I already explained the difference in revivals here and the possibility of reviving someone from a different universe entirely. There's at least one universe out there with its own afterlife, so there is considerable room for ambiguity to what extent your corpse was a corpse when it was brought here.

[He's definitely not about to give away his reasons for wanting to know quite specifically what state Vincent's corpse was in. The hollow cheer that was briefly absent in his tone as he'd gotten serious returns, just as abruptly.]

If you don't know, that's fine! I was just curious~

Imagine the potential value of our experiences to science!

[ A thought pause. ]

You aren't just curious.

You're looking for something in my revival here.

[ His words shift to vitrolic snarling. ]

Do you think I enjoyed dying? That it was fun? And now having some pedant tell me how much of a corpse I was might have been the issue?

So, what is it? As the person who had to suffer through your curiosity, I think I deserve an answer.

You know, it's interesting. For someone who didn't enjoy his death, you're awfully defensive of it. An average person might jump at the opportunity to believe there could be hope for their survival, that their existence here might have implications for their continued existence once this is all over.

[There goes all that cheer again, instead sharpened down to a blade to hold at Vincent's throat.]

Don't pretend to be so devastated. You want to be dead. I'd go as far as to wager you're frustrated you're alive now.

Not anymore devastated than you are, I'm sure.

[ Since the man's earlier comment on suicide attempt. ]

Did I ever claim to be? Your deflections are embarrassingly transparent.

You know... I do feel sorry for you.

Just think of it... a suicidal person in a place where he can never die. Tragic.

Almost as tragic as an insecure man who tries to hurt others to hide his own weakness and fear, but has too little imagination to even accomplish that much!

Edited 2024-11-19 09:19 (UTC)

I know but you shouldn't insult yourself so much to strangers.

Wow, and the lack of imagination continues. Are you quite sure you ever left the third grade? Rubber and glue is rather outdated, I'm afraid.

Edited 2024-11-19 12:55 (UTC)

Just think it's a little too pointed to bring up truly hurtful things.

I mean... someone who smiles and sounds so happy while being so miserable inside. Do you even have a reason to save your world? I'm not so sure. It must have been unfortunate for you to be chosen when you have nothing to want to live for anymore.

But I guess people are people. You don't know anything else to do but smile and hope someone will love you when you can't love yourself.

It's truly sad how a person can spout nonsense and believe they're getting somewhere.

[Vincent might be in the right ballpark, but he's somewhere off in the outfield, well away from stealing home, this time, and Dazai's back up to bat again. Alright. If Vincent wants to play, he'll play for real.]

What will happen to you if you're not really dead, I wonder? Do you go to jail, perhaps? Into hiding from your would-be murderer? Or maybe it's simpler than that, maybe you've convinced yourself your death has some greater meaning, because otherwise you'd have to live out the rest of your meaningless life with the realization that you're truly insignificant, a confluence of molecules floating in a cosmic soup tens of billions of orders of magnitude greater than you are.

[He laughs, nails on broken glass.]

Hey, you were talking to Castiel-san, right? Did you know in his world, there are people who were killed in holy wars fighting for the wrong God? They didn't even know until they woke up in a different afterlife than they were expecting! Say, Vsmith-kun, do you think you'll go to the right one, after we're done here?

Edited 2024-11-19 14:47 (UTC)

[ It's a similar situation. Right ballpark but somewhere else and not where it could actually hurt him. ]

Oh, so you're using another conversation to try to win this one? I guess I don't have the luxury 'cause I don't care enough to hunt down information about you. [ He opens his hands in a dismissive manner. ]

But yes, I will. Because I have faith.

I have something neither Castiel or you have. Belief in something more than myself.

Do you want to matter? I suppose maybe you want to matter to someone since you're fixated on that point, but I'm afraid... I don't think that person cares about you all that much... if they did at all.

Now, now, don't make excuses. If you set out to do something, you really ought to put in the proper effort~

[git gud, scrub.]

Pretending to be above it all only makes you look more desperate, especially with all that projecting you're doing. You want to believe in your God so badly, and yet, they're not here, are they? Echo has you instead, and this God of yours has done nothing to retrieve you.

[He smiles all the brighter.]

What will you do with all that faith of yours, if your universe is destroyed? Even Aurora-chan can't actually promise any of us are really in the running to save our universes.

I just don't like stalking losers.

[ He starts to laugh. It's a chuckle at first before it becomes hysterical at the idea of his universe being destroyed. Because he's talked to Heather about how they need to figure out what the criteria is so that they can fail.

If it's not taking part in the games, fine. But he's sure it's more than that -- because they wouldn't call him here if it was something so simple as a lack of involvement.

His wheezing stops as he finally responds: ]

You don't understand belief or faith. So why don't you try another route, heretic?

Ohhhh, I see, an apocalypse seeker, then. Suits the unreasonably inflated ego, I suppose.

[A guess, but one he's pretty confident in, from that reaction. He lets out an exaggerated sigh.]

People like you truly are embarrassing. You don't have the courage to end things for yourself, so you try to drag everyone down with you in a huge dramatic production, it's really pathetic!

You're the one who's embarrassing.

You're still off the mark. Didn't I tell you that you should stick to something you understand? You don't have faith. You don't have belief. You have nothing.

Actually, what do you have? Other than the desire to stalk people so you can feel like you understand them? But in the end, you don't know anything at all.

Maybe that's why you're so lonely.

cw: death talk

death talk continues/likely throughout

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