un: ulysses | video

[restingstitchface]

[On the latest feed: a man with combed hair, a clean face, a mismatched suit and a pair of rimless glasses. Video is streaming from an office where one might spot a painting of an anguished man. He closes his eyes and fixes his lenses on his nose, looking away while leaning forward. His preference is for messaging, but today he is showing his face. He inhales in a calm and controlled manner. Facial cues encourage trust. He prefers to remain unobserved, but this should encourage a positive impression.

Unless you’re Batman, apparently.]

Well, that was a terrible couple of weeks.

In any case, my apologies for the intrusion. I was managing the aftermath and hesitant to reach out until today. I have nothing further to add except that I understand you might feel nervous. But if you resist those feelings, you will have to face them again, and when they catch you…

[He swallows his sentence and focuses on his reason for posting, grounding himself in the present moment by inhaling.]

Back home I treat people for support with their mental health. I had excellent resources there but here I can offer nothing but a listening ear. Perhaps you would like to take me up on that? It’s not like you need insurance and sometimes it’s good to talk.

Feel free to contact me. I'm here to help.

Comments

[restingstitchface]

There are tremendous advancements in this place. Have you considered seeing what's on offer when it comes to treatment of the injury itself? Or are things equally limited here? The technology itself is outstanding but in some regards things have remained the same.

[fortitudosalutis]

[ There's a pause. ]

Not a huge fan of trusting the robots here.

[ In truth he's not a huge fan of trusting a psychiatrist, either, but a person you can kick the shit out of if they mess with you. The robots? He's not so sure. ]

[restingstitchface]

You need the assurance of consequences.

I'll admit I understand the need to remain in control. You need to be able to trust your own mind. Your decisions, your action. I think most of us would understand that.

[fortitudosalutis]

[ Therein lies at least half the problem. Control is sacred, hard-won. A commodity none of them can waste. And Carver already has a history of losing the thread in bad moments. It can’t happen again. It can’t keep happening.

He doesn’t say that. He’s not an idiot. ]

Something like that. The lines got a tendency to turn fuzzy around here

[restingstitchface]

[Control is sacred. He understands that from personal experience.]

It sounds like you could do with analyzing and rearranging your boundaries. But that's difficult when mission participation is mandatory. Still, I suppose we always make sacrifices in life.

[fortitudosalutis]

Always do.

So, how's this work?

[restingstitchface]

Wrll, there needs to be an assessment, of course. I could request your medical information if you're comfortable with that. I can only imagine it's exhausting for you to find yourself back at the start, repeating everything.

[Hmm.]

Assessment. Observation. Diagnosis. Treatment. Your information would be valuable input, but I'd favour the same approach regardless of whatever comes to hand.

[fortitudosalutis]

Fine

[ This is probably a bad idea but the commander was always a big fan of solving your own fuckups. If this is what it takes, then Carver decides he’ll suck it up. ]

Request it or I’ll tell you what I know.

[restingstitchface]

Oh, I would rather do both. It does us good to talk about our experiences and I would request your file to ensure continuity of care. Our memories cannot recall all relevant information and I want to avoid harmful interactions.

Perhaps you would like to start? If that question's too open, maybe you'd be comfortable sharing how long you've been receiving treatment?

[fortitudosalutis]

[ There’s no response for a long time. Then: ]

That was when I was still enlisted. Almost fifteen years ago. Nothing since.

[restingstitchface]

[Processing time? Noted.]

Unfortunate. But sadly those situations are nothing new for veterans.

[fortitudosalutis]

Don’t do the thank you for your service thing.

[ Just saying that right off the bat. Carver’s never had much patience for that. ]

The world ended. Should probably mention that. I had other priorities

[restingstitchface]

It was nothing more than observation of the system. I dislike false platitudes.

[Both giving and receiving and the reason is simple. They're offensive.]

Though I should note both of your points are complicated. Where would you prefer to begin?

[fortitudosalutis]

People got sick. And then they died and their corpses came back hungry.

It went about how you’d think.

I was out of the army by then. Working as a contractor. We went back to war then. Some of us survived for a while.

[restingstitchface]

[The world ended, then. One situation can easily create the other.]

Well, I can't say I understand that position, having never endured it myself. My world is mundane compared to others. But I can imagine you were under enormous amounts of stress. Though perhaps stress isn't the word. I

I suppose nothing quite summarises it, really...

[fortitudosalutis]

War sums it up.

[restingstitchface]

I have to admit it does. The word itself points to general patterns of adaptation and behaviour, if nothing else. Though I hardly want to refer to your experiences as anything so general. But I think there's something to be said for the fact you possibly find more understanding in your comrades than the general public?

[fortitudosalutis]

Civilians didn't get it before the world ended. No offense. And nobody's a civilian now.

I stayed with my unit after things got fucked. The commander and the sergeant kept everyone going. We stuck together until the end.

[restingstitchface]

That's dedication. What kept you all around? I can observe the odds of survival increase exponentially, but I can also imagine there's more to it than that.

[fortitudosalutis]

We all did tours in Korengal Valley.

[ The Valley of Death. ]

We saw God there, all of us. We believed. I didn’t have anyone left but them. None of us did.

[restingstitchface]

Spirituality often comes at times of great stress and upheaval. Those moments that challenge our worldview. Some people only find God after losing their loved ones, right?

[fortitudosalutis]

Gods loves us best when we suffer.

[restingstitchface]

Of course. God needs people to suffer in order to believe they need saving. Divine beings traditionally punish humanity for stepping outside their designated path in general mythology.

[fortitudosalutis]

Yeah

[ There's a pause. Then: ]

Or people need God to believe there's a point to it

[restingstitchface]

Better to believe we exist and suffer and thrive for a train, rather then to accept we exist because of an act of random chance; that we exist for no reason at all.