un: kidomega | text

[querulus]

what's up girls gays and theys. before we head out on the most epic of fetch quests allow me to remind/inform you that your friendly neighborhood omega level telepath is available as a non-echo/aurora/whomstever the fuck monitored means of communication around these parts. those of you who may know sophie? i'm basically her but better in every way.

now. i know what you're thinking. no seriously i do. "who the hell is this guy and why should i trust him with my precious private brain thoughts? those are for me and my diary ONLY!!" valid question. allow me to supply my resume.
- avenger
- x-men 
- x-force
- last omega level mutant standing in this dump
in summary: big damn hero and op as fuck.

services i can provide:
- telepathic comms (obvi)
- remote monitoring of team member locations and statuses
- scanning for all thinking life-forms within a given radius 
- emergency contact for reinforcements/next of kin

pretty good deal, right? you bet your ass it is. okay okay, but where's the catch? what about rules? caveats? are there rules and are they reasonable? yes and yes.

my rules:
1. nobody whose name starts with "v". i'm biased and no i will not share why.
2. don't send me your spam. this is a professional line NOT a candy gram service.
3. i reserve the right to deny services for anyone whose brain stinks excessively. some of y'all are nasty.

okay peace out, hmu, like and subscribe 

- Quentin Quire 

ALSO if you're that little raccoon twerp who keeps popping up on the network to talk shit about how much you hate telepaths, DNI

Comments

[cache_coeur]

Don't worry about it.

By the by, I've pestered Sophie to introduce us before, to no avail!

NOT HERE

[sophielicious]

[querulus]

oh i guess you're one of her nyx peeps

whatever she said about me, none of it is true

[sophielicious]

i told her you're a omega-level pain in my ass how about that

[querulus]

add "genius" and i'll accept it

[sophielicious]

no never in my life will i refer to you as such

[querulus]

then i'm afraid i cannot approve your description. please try again when you can adhere to our standards of accuracy

[sophielicious]

Quentin Quire, I am too lazy to write out your entire name,

I write to reinforce my stance that, while I do recognize you as a powerful fellow telepath, an Omega-level mutant in fact, I will not attach 'genius' to your attempts to drive me to lunacy, as it seems to be a side-effect of your personality rather than a measure of your intelligence.

Unkind regards,

Sophie "Frost" Cuckoo.

[querulus]

dear sophie

my genius is separate from my success in driving you to lunacy. please take this fact into account moving forward.

best,
--qq

[sophielicious]

Unwillingly on my part, but however dear Quentin,

I see attached no proof of such success, nor have I been presented metrics and KPIs. Please, revise your strategy and bring to us something worth of genius status, since you find it adamant for it to be tethered to your title.

We urge you to consider this carefully,

- SC

[querulus]

sc,

i neither require nor expect your recognition of my status as genius. this is a matter of professional courtesy, which i now see is not to be had. we appear to be at an impasse and thusly i (dis)respectfully take my leave. we shall not discuss this matter further.

warmest regards,
--qq

[cache_coeur]

That's a terrible pity because it wasn't all bad! :) But no, I'm a friend of hers.

[querulus]

a friend huh? then definitely throw out everything she said.

[cache_coeur]

Oh? Why is that?

[querulus]

i am better perceived through the lens of one's own experiences and worldviews than via the impressions of another

[cache_coeur]

Isn't that the case for everyone?

[querulus]

sure but especially me. i'm a very complex person.

[cache_coeur]

So it seems! I don't think I understood half of what you said in your offer, kind as it was.

[querulus]

wait what didn't you understand??

[cache_coeur]

Just jargon. Spam, candy gram, raccoon.

[querulus]

they don't have raccoons in your world?? jesus

whatever okay the offer was to pass on messages to people and idk keep track of scary monsters or if your friends are dead and shit. my range is hella bigger than sophie's so if this place we're going to is massive, i got a better chance of being contactable. just don't expect me to pass on a message if the message is "hi" or some bullshit. don't be boring.

[cache_coeur]

Not unless I know them by another name!

Now, do you think Sophie would be friends with a boring person?

[querulus]

little gray critters with black masks? like to knock down trash cans? yes? no?

i'm more easily bored than sophie