un: kidomega | text

[querulus]

alright people listen up. a lot of you wanted me "ask nicer" so that's what i'm doing. i know that sounds sarcastic but it's not. i just talk like this. i'm a bunch of things, most of them pretty shitty, but one thing i'm not is a coward. i'm a big enough guy to own it when i fucked up, and i fucked up. my b. this is me trying to fix it. we gucci? oh and if all that's not convincing for you, i've got my meanest buddy on standby to kick my ass if i get too out of pocket. just @ hellion. and with a name like that you know he means business. okay? okay.

so. here's the sitch

there's an old as balls computer in the catacombs under the city. roughly similar to an ibm model 5150 circa 1981 earth for any of you nerd types. i can beam the location into your brains or draw you a map. there's also a skeleton that may or may not be alive, and no i can't expand on that. go take a look if you're curious. anyway, i booted up the thing, and it asked for security questions. the questions are as follows:

what is clark kent's middle name?
what rank esper is accelerator?
what state did scott summers grow up in?
who is nero's father?
what was jayce talis from?
what is the name of cid telamon's daughter?
what is john reese's birthday?
what is arthur morgan's favorite father's name?
who is damian wayne's mother?
what is antigone's surname?

now then. i've been getting a whole lot of questions about why the computer wants this shit and why does it know this blah blah blah. truth is the powers that be know everything there is to know about us. memories, biometrics, personal info, shit you've never told a soul. if that makes you uncomfy, then good. that means your brain works. keep it up.

i'ma be straight with you. i've got no clue what will happen if we get past the security questions. hell, i don't know if there is anything past the security questions. for all i know it'll say the answers are wrong no matter what just so we'll tear each other apart with petty infighting. that's my pet theory, but you make your own calls. i'm not your dad.

the one thing i know for sure is that we were meant to find this. or at least we're allowed to find it. i mean we've been talking about it in front of god and everybody for ages, and aurora hasn't made a peep. seems weird, right? what it's for, is it a prank, who does it belong to, what's it doing in a spooky ass crypt full of oddly humanoid bones and a skeleton that feels like it's staring into my soul? total mystery. a mystery that i personally would love to solve. if you wanna know too? great. if you don't give a shit? you do you. but none of this is gonna matter if we don't have all the answers. in other words, we do this together or not at all. capiche?

okay, qq out. hmu for further questions, otherwise talk amongst yourselves.

[OOC: Guess who crashed out on main and now has to come crawling back for take 2! For anyone who didn't see Quentin's first disastrous post, this is part of Sophie's player plot. Feel free to roast him.]

Comments

username: valentine (text)

[loveandsin]

[ As one who worked as a security/body guard for a very elite company, Vincent can't help his curiosity. ]

Have you any idea why these particular people were selected? Some of the questions seem to have a few things in common, and although I don't know all the names, they appear to be all or mostly men, if I'm not mistaken. Has anyone deduced a reason for these particulars?

[querulus]

oh thank fuck somebody not biting my head off

but to answer your question, i've got ideas but nothing solid. i can tell you most of them aren't exactly the trusting type. one of those names is a guy who's kinda from my world. there are two of him here, both are from different alternate timelines. don't ask, it's just kind of a thing with people like us. but no, no clue why the spooky mystery computer doesn't pass the bechdel test.

[loveandsin]

Interesting. So we must assume you were permitted to find this computer, but then given questions for a difficult group. I suppose this world does like to get in its own way more often than not.

[ Vincent is amused by the notion. ]

[querulus]

you said it, not me. i've been told that line of thinking is "too negative" and "unhelpful".

got any theories?

XxBlackKnightxX

[pullit]

much better

I'ma ask my dad if he's cool with this first tho

[querulus]

your approval means the world to me

[Look he has to be at least a little bit sassy, or he dies.]

oh hey while you're here and we're being cooperative and shit, you got any idea why the question is about your dad and not your uncle's brother? i mean why were you the one name dropped when there's a whole gaggle of you guys around?

[pullit]

i think weve all learnt a valuable lesson today

dude idfk why its asking about us in the first place? our family gets into a lot of shit to put it litely, this wouldnt be a question worth fussin over if not for that

maybe its cuz only met my dad about a year and a half ago and had no idea i even had a family before that

[querulus]

wow your family getting into some bullshit, i'm shooketh

so do all you guys have like super secret names or whatever? cause that could be a reason. you know, make it harder to get the info, and clearly challenge is a part of this stupid arg.

also not for nothing but technically the question is "who is your dad" and not "what's your dad's full legal government name and social security number?" there's some room for interpretation here.

[pullit]

bro the day i found out i was one of em was the day i got shoved into the heart of a giant god statue to power it like a 9 volt battery. i dont blame em for being paranoid

also i dont think so... we dont even have a surname

[querulus]

so is getting shoved into giant god statues a common thing that happens to your family or...?

also how does "a guy's name" lead directly to "suitable battery for god statue" out of context? i'm not following. i mean unless your dad's name is mr. i'm-a-great-battery-for-a-god-statue. that'd be kinda on the nose.

[pullit]

uhhh just me afaik?

my gramps was the Dark Knight Sparda which isnt gonna mean anything to you but he was a famous demon warrior who saved humanity. so dad and Dante are half demon and im a quarter. but it turns out a lotta freaky people wanna fuck around with Sparda's legacy

so yeah cant really blame em for being nervous. idk why the computer cares about us but i dont really like it either

if my dads name wasnt already public knowledge i would not be answering shit btw

text » un: HELLION

[vexant]

that's better

[querulus]

yes thank you for your input. you're here for a service not to farm clout. shoo.

[vexant]

I can do both at once

[querulus]

and we're all very proud of you. can you pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time too?

sSs.H0T-D4MNT3.sSs

[nowfeaturing]

Neros father is my brother.

Next question.

[querulus]

helpful as always. i'll treasure these moments we share for all my life.

you're too late boyo. kiddo already said he'd ask his dad

[nowfeaturing]

Arent i just? I have that effect on people.

You asked who his father is, i told you who his father is. Your questions been answered.

[querulus]

you know at this rate i wouldn't even be surprised if the correct answer was "some asshole's brother".

hey buddy you ever wonder why the question is about "nero's dad" and not "your brother"? because i think about that a lot.

[nowfeaturing]

Why dont you go ahead and try it, see where it gets you.

Cant say thats a question thats keeping me up at night. Maybe im not the computers type.

[...but thanks a lot, now he's wondering about that too.]

[querulus]

what if i do it and it turns out a wrong answer blows up the whole city?

really? no thoughts at all about how you're the only one who didn't get directly or indirectly name dropped? huh. well you do you.

[Revenge!!]

[nowfeaturing]

Maybe thats a good reason not to play around with computers you dont know anything about.

Honestly? It makes a nice change.

[It's only going to make him look out for them more!!]