un: kidomega | text

[querulus]

alright people listen up. a lot of you wanted me "ask nicer" so that's what i'm doing. i know that sounds sarcastic but it's not. i just talk like this. i'm a bunch of things, most of them pretty shitty, but one thing i'm not is a coward. i'm a big enough guy to own it when i fucked up, and i fucked up. my b. this is me trying to fix it. we gucci? oh and if all that's not convincing for you, i've got my meanest buddy on standby to kick my ass if i get too out of pocket. just @ hellion. and with a name like that you know he means business. okay? okay.

so. here's the sitch

there's an old as balls computer in the catacombs under the city. roughly similar to an ibm model 5150 circa 1981 earth for any of you nerd types. i can beam the location into your brains or draw you a map. there's also a skeleton that may or may not be alive, and no i can't expand on that. go take a look if you're curious. anyway, i booted up the thing, and it asked for security questions. the questions are as follows:

what is clark kent's middle name?
what rank esper is accelerator?
what state did scott summers grow up in?
who is nero's father?
what was jayce talis from?
what is the name of cid telamon's daughter?
what is john reese's birthday?
what is arthur morgan's favorite father's name?
who is damian wayne's mother?
what is antigone's surname?

now then. i've been getting a whole lot of questions about why the computer wants this shit and why does it know this blah blah blah. truth is the powers that be know everything there is to know about us. memories, biometrics, personal info, shit you've never told a soul. if that makes you uncomfy, then good. that means your brain works. keep it up.

i'ma be straight with you. i've got no clue what will happen if we get past the security questions. hell, i don't know if there is anything past the security questions. for all i know it'll say the answers are wrong no matter what just so we'll tear each other apart with petty infighting. that's my pet theory, but you make your own calls. i'm not your dad.

the one thing i know for sure is that we were meant to find this. or at least we're allowed to find it. i mean we've been talking about it in front of god and everybody for ages, and aurora hasn't made a peep. seems weird, right? what it's for, is it a prank, who does it belong to, what's it doing in a spooky ass crypt full of oddly humanoid bones and a skeleton that feels like it's staring into my soul? total mystery. a mystery that i personally would love to solve. if you wanna know too? great. if you don't give a shit? you do you. but none of this is gonna matter if we don't have all the answers. in other words, we do this together or not at all. capiche?

okay, qq out. hmu for further questions, otherwise talk amongst yourselves.

[OOC: Guess who crashed out on main and now has to come crawling back for take 2! For anyone who didn't see Quentin's first disastrous post, this is part of Sophie's player plot. Feel free to roast him.]

Comments

[querulus]

your approval means the world to me

[Look he has to be at least a little bit sassy, or he dies.]

oh hey while you're here and we're being cooperative and shit, you got any idea why the question is about your dad and not your uncle's brother? i mean why were you the one name dropped when there's a whole gaggle of you guys around?

[pullit]

i think weve all learnt a valuable lesson today

dude idfk why its asking about us in the first place? our family gets into a lot of shit to put it litely, this wouldnt be a question worth fussin over if not for that

maybe its cuz only met my dad about a year and a half ago and had no idea i even had a family before that

[querulus]

wow your family getting into some bullshit, i'm shooketh

so do all you guys have like super secret names or whatever? cause that could be a reason. you know, make it harder to get the info, and clearly challenge is a part of this stupid arg.

also not for nothing but technically the question is "who is your dad" and not "what's your dad's full legal government name and social security number?" there's some room for interpretation here.

[pullit]

bro the day i found out i was one of em was the day i got shoved into the heart of a giant god statue to power it like a 9 volt battery. i dont blame em for being paranoid

also i dont think so... we dont even have a surname

[querulus]

so is getting shoved into giant god statues a common thing that happens to your family or...?

also how does "a guy's name" lead directly to "suitable battery for god statue" out of context? i'm not following. i mean unless your dad's name is mr. i'm-a-great-battery-for-a-god-statue. that'd be kinda on the nose.

[pullit]

uhhh just me afaik?

my gramps was the Dark Knight Sparda which isnt gonna mean anything to you but he was a famous demon warrior who saved humanity. so dad and Dante are half demon and im a quarter. but it turns out a lotta freaky people wanna fuck around with Sparda's legacy

so yeah cant really blame em for being nervous. idk why the computer cares about us but i dont really like it either

if my dads name wasnt already public knowledge i would not be answering shit btw

[querulus]

demon shit, huh? i've got a teammate back home who's demonicish. and russian! she was here for a bit.

look buddy all of this is sus top to bottom but one thing i'm sure about is that these questions don't have shit to do with "sparda's legacy". they're security questions. you know, like a password. verify you're an authorized user by entering information only an authorized user would know. whoever set up the questions chose these specific pieces of information to block anybody else from getting in, and apparently they did a damn good job because the only common denominator i've found is the majority of the people on the list really really don't like talking about their shit.

in other words, it's built-in password security. kinda genius, honestly. i'd respect it a lot more if it wasn't such a pain in my ass.

[pullit]

yeah dude i know its not got to do with that but thats why my familys bein so cagey about it

anyway i had to tease Sophie a lil bit because my dad's name isn't some kind of secret or trick question, its kind of public knowlege? lmao like he kinda talks about me to anyone wholl listen

Hes named after a roman poet except he spells it with an e

[querulus]

wait hang on.

[What was the name they said when Sophie was asking and Quentin was too busy being salty? Publius Verg—]

are you fucking kidding me? dante and vergil??? this whole time it's been a divina commedia pun???

quisque suos patimur manis

[pullit]

yeah theyre twins. guess old man Sparda was a lit nerd lmao

quicksy sauce patina manos

[querulus]

your dad is named after the most famous roman poet in history and you don't know latin?? i changed my mind i do have beef with your family

[pullit]

dude what does that have to do with anything, i stopped paying attention in latin class when i was like 9

thats like saying my names Nero so my dad must obviosly know italian

[querulus]

????????

nero spoke latin?? he was roman????

[pullit]

[Oh, boy, you got him there actually. (He did not know that.)]

Im not named after that guy, im named after the color black

[querulus]

what? that's way more boring. come on, fiddling while rome burns? that's sick as hell.

[Quentin no.]

[pullit]

yea dude i thought so too!!! and i could totally pretend that was the idea

but NOOOOOOO, instead of the super metal crazy emperor the nuns named me after a fuckin blanket

[querulus]

bro just tell people you're named after the psycho emperor. who's gonna correct you? look i can teach you some badass latin phrases he said. it's basically free clout.

[pullit]

oh sick. free sample???

(i can kinda read latin so if you call me a fuckwad or whatever im gonna know about it btw)

[querulus]

please if i was going to call you a fuckwad i would say it to your face like a man

vellem nescire literas

[pullit]

that's not a metal thing to say

[querulus]

it's a sick burn though! picture it, some chucklefuck writes a thing that's stupid. you say "vellem nescire literas". boom, roasted.

[pullit]

oh ok

whats something cool to yell after i just lopped off a demon head with a giant flaming sword and theres blood spurting everywhere

[querulus]

cede deo?

that's virgil not nero but honestly who's gonna know. virgil had more banger lines anyway.

[pullit]

oh thats sick

gonna tell Dad that one

un: GETxWHIPT1476

[fitshaced]

no no no this guy is leading you astray

no one in the history of ever has looked cool shouting in latin unless your aim is to sound like a perfect choir boy

you're better off with something like
didn't think it was that bad. certainly not enough to lose your head over it.