un: Bachelor | text

[thantagonist]

Attention Fellow People of Etraya,

I am Doctor Daniil Dankovsky, Bachelor of Medicine. As I understand it, few of you have seen a doctor lately. That simply won’t do! Please, don’t wait to get sick to establish care. I am situated in the hospital, ready to take consent forms and make updated medical histories. At least a few of you have unaddressed concerns, I just know it. The average person comes to see the doctor when it’s too late! Though we cannot die here, there is no reason to suffer unduly.

And if you are otherwise healthy, perhaps think of it as helping me out. In the event of an outbreak, it is far more helpful to have complete clinical pictures of the inhabitants. Especially, as I understand it, there are many biological differences in this population.

Please come visit me during my clinic hours, every day from 10am to 6pm.


[What Daniil really wants is to meet more of the unusual inhabitants of Etraya more quickly as well as conduct casual interviews of the sort of people who are slated to save the universe. But he can’t just say that completely outright.]

Comments

[numinousname]

[they turn around, blinking. he looks a bit comical, perched like that. like some kid counting while others go hide.]

Ah, you can...you don't need to shield your eyes anymore. Thank you.

[thantagonist]

Right. [His hands fall into his lap and he looks up at them, really looking properly for the first time since entering the room.]

[ How could I ever forget about that crackpot thing a Platon did, mixing radium into the embalming solution that he pushed into a cadaver? I’d asked about depths of the systems, and he had a little idea. He turned off the lights and it lit up. The paper indicating the danger of that amount of radioactive material was published years later, but neither of us seemed to have had any ill effects...]

[But while that glow was eerie, sickly. The one beneath Tristan’s veins were more like a little tea candle in a paper lantern, perhaps.]

[Daniil brings his legs up onto the small bed, making room.]

Would you object to staying here? I feel ease and comfort with you nearby.

[He shivers.]

cw slight inference of sexual assault

[numinousname]

[Tristan's head tilts a little.] I did mean to keep you company. So you may perhaps better rest, yes?

[they can do away with the follow-up of unless the sight of me is disturbing, because he just said 'ease and comfort,' and if that were a lie, surely Tristan would be quick enough to detect it from all sorts of cues spoken or not. and if there were other notions...they're not as naive about such things as they had been as an empty-headed shell. they've lived and learned a little.

after a beat, barring any last-second changes of heart, Tristan quietly pads over and sits on the edge of the bed next to him, hands resting on their lap.]

When you said...'never in this sort of situation'... No one's looked out for you when you were unwell?

[thantagonist]

Not since I was a helpless child with a fever. As a man, as an adult, I’ve been my own doctor. And it’s worked just fine until now.

But you have a keen sense of pain. And your healing is genuine. And I must sleep, or I think I might really die. I’m really cold.

[You’re babbling. This is pathetic, Dankovsky.]

[Daniil wrestles with the covers until he is beneath them, and he holds them open like a tent for Tristan to crawl inside.]

[Silence, it’s humiliation here or a worse one later, your hand in the morphine cabinet. This creature doesn’t know any better, doesn’t know how shameful this is.]

[numinousname]

[after a beat to sift through those concerns, Tristan obliges, slipping under and letting Daniil fuss as he pleases, themself still as they can manage throughout.]

I won't let you die, Daniil. [Though apparently...neither will this place. But I don't like thinking of that.

they turn so they can rest on their side facing him, eyes glinting a bit in the dark.]

I don't...wholly understand why you trust me, though. [considering how that first revivify went. He might truly be mad.]

[thantagonist]

I can’t trust myself right now. I can’t think straight either. If you were going to hurt me, you already would have.

[The glint sends a chill down his spine, a primordial fear reminding him that people’s eyes don’t look like that.]

[Daniil’s heart pounds. He loops an arm around Tristan and pulls them in against his chest so that he can feel him without looking at him so much. He rests his chin atop those soft waves of fine hair. Daniil’s own was dense and straight, happy to stay the way it was cut, so the feeling is novel.]

[numinousname]

...

[well, they're always longing to be helpful, needed, and held. maybe it's the overwhelm of getting all of that at once without the anguish that precedes it that's making them feel so strange; they grow a touch warmer, the glow's pulsing quickening with their heartrate.

after a moment, they draw in a steadying breath, hold it, and exhale it against Daniil's skin.]

When it...is hard to rest. When I can't make my thoughts settle... [they fidget a little to get their hand on Daniil's waist.] I think about what I am as a body. Skin. Blood. Breath...

[thantagonist]

[Daniil inadvertently pictures himself on the slab, standing over himself with a scalpel.]

[He lets out a wheezing, mirthless chuckle.]

I picture myself in a cocoon. Turning to slush. Reforming as a butterfly. Flying away.

[Daniil shifts his legs, his hand. He presses firmly with his palm on Tristan’s back.]

[numinousname]

[there was a shape in that red mass. the red womb. Tristan remembers it - seeing it through someone else's eyes.

they shiver, quietly laugh it off. it's fine.]

Would you rather be that? A butterfly. Instead of a doctor.

[thantagonist]

Right now I might. A butterfly doesn’t have concerns, just beats of its own wings.

[Daniil shifts himself, pressing a knee between Tristan’s, but no further. And then he settles, laying still as his heart slows.]

You’re warm. [Daniil’s thoughts begin to truly liquify as his own chilly limbs start to soak and multiply warmth from beneath the blanket. He puffs air against Tristan’s hair as he breathes in their scent.]

[numinousname]

[Tristan's ears burn with that, with the sounds of steadying breath and a heart far slower than their own. there is the weight of an arm over them, the press of a knee between their own, and the gentle warmth of breath on their scalp and the subsequent chill in the intervals.

no wonder proximity is so addictive - there is so much to take in. they try to imagine they were someone holding and being held by someone they knew for a long time, who had woven a lifelong bond with them, the way people often do... it may be as bards say when they speak of the mad things people do for a bonded partner.

now and then, they do risk touching Daniil where their hands rest - a bit of pointed pressure, no more, no less, just enough to glean a sense of his body without disturbing him. they do startle and almost break free when they hear the heavy steps signaling the machines, but instead simply lift their head and watch them in the dark. they inquire quietly as to what they're doing and, mollified, let them see to it and settle back.

it cannot be all this self-fulfilling relishing, they remind themself: Daniil is expecting them to be taking care of him. so they refocus on him, less on marveling on his presence and more on monitoring it for the need to soothe, closing their eyes when they sense him closer to stirring.

naive in many things, Tristan still can imagine that being stared at upon waking would be disturbing.]

[thantagonist]

[The bots collect clothing, everything on the floor and carry it away to be delivered shortly before Daniil ordinarily wakes. Clean, pressed, and hung.]

[Daniil is completely out, and he stays that way until after the bots return at 9:30 in the morning.]

[Does Tristan dare wiggle free? ]

[numinousname]

[a little; they want to sit up, but not jostle the man entirely in the process. they'll sit there, taking stock of the room in the light of morning, of themself, dressed in someone else's clothes.

they can catch up on some muted network things, text Junpei to assure they're alright, that sort of things.]

NSFW I guess

[thantagonist]

[Their clothes reappear with Daniil’s, looking absurd beside each other. Seems the bots even took to conditioning and polishing the leather armor.]

[He stirs in his sleep, his flannel shirt twisted around his midsection from moving, his trousers bunched up around his hips. Daniil rolls onto his back, kicking the blankets down by accident. The front of Daniil’s trousers tent like this, his erection freed from the crease of his thigh.]

[Daniil sighs and stirs again, stretching with his eyes closed. He reaches down to pull the fabric free from clinging so uncomfortably. He gives himself a squeeze and sighs before he goes to turn back over to ignore it, arm landing on Tristan’s legs.]

[Daniil startles, patting Tristan’s legs again for confirmation before opening his eyes and sitting up.]

Huh?

[Daniil’s mouth hangs open as his adrenaline shot brain runs a calculation or two and he grabs all the blankets to shove into a wad in front of his groin.]

[numinousname]

[Tristan blinks and dismisses the network hub and looks over in time to see Daniil futzing about, about to open their mouth to say something, but the arm happens.

their eyes wince as he scrambles, working on pushing a mild, apologetic expression.]

It is alright. Please, take time to remember and put yourself at ease. [otherwise all that restful work will be for naught.]

[thantagonist]

[How is he supposed to think with a throbbing hard on in front of an acquaintance in his own bed! And what the fuck is he wearing? What was Tristan wearing?!]

[The colorful pattern of his shirt bewilders him, and reminds him of last night, bit by bit with gaping holes cut out of it. Seems like his mind just conveniently stopped recording in its exhaustion-]

[Daniil does not take the requisite amount of time to put the pieces together in the correct order. He remembers being naked. He remembers showering. Contacting Tristan? His head on their lap. Sweat, sickness, confusion. Their body in his arms. Covering his eyes- ]

Did we have sex?

[numinousname]

[a small frown.]

No. You needed rest. So you slept.

[thantagonist]

[This would be far from the first time he had drawn an inane conclusion.]

Oh- Good. Good, ah. No offense. I would just rather remember my first time. [Daniil slaps his face into his hands as he says such a thing out loud.]

[He makes a pained noise, wishing the world would just open up and swallow him whole.]

[muffled in his hands:] Did I stay in here all night?

[numinousname]

Part of the evening you dozed at the cafe. Then we returned here. You bathed, dressed, and slept. That is all.

[a beat, and Tristan rises, a hand holding the slacks up at their hip as they move to where their clothing was folded up by their armor.]

[thantagonist]

[Daniil comes off the bed with the blanket trailing between his legs. He needed to get into his normal clothes, and later have a discussion with the bots about what kind of clothing is acceptable to put in his dresser.]

I can’t believe I asked that of you. [The guardianship? The sex part?] I’m really having a strange time, I’m so sorry.

But also thank you. I wasn’t myself last night. [He grabs his clothing, hanger and all, and hurries into the restroom, face beat red, feeling utterly humiliated.]

[numinousname]

[they still for a beat, holding their turtleneck to themself.]

Whoever you were trusted me to do right by you. And I wanted to do that. It should not be something you regret. But...it is alright, if you do.

[thantagonist]

[Daniil runs the cold tap into a cup, unzips his trousers, then dips himself into it with a hiss and an involuntary yelp. That was so cold.]

[Sweet clarity.]

[More fragments from the night come to him. Tracing his own thoughts and motivations as he fully undresses and redresses. He speaks through the door.]

You did do right by me. I’m worried I can’t say the same from me to you. That is what I regret, any mistreatment you may have endured in my exhausted state.

[numinousname]

[Tristan was tending to themself before they heard that noise and whips their head to stare in the direction, listening for a beat.

...

nothing? no followup?

okay.

by the time he's resurfaced, Tristan is dressed head-to-toe in the blacks of their travel gear, their expression conflicted, but making an effort to stay kind despite their feelings trying to trip them up.]

Daniil, you did not mistreat me. You...trusted me enough to call for help when you needed it. As a healer yourself...you understand, don't you? What it means for someone to...be willing to do that. Put them in your hands.

[thantagonist]

[Daniil opens the door to the restroom. He holds his trousers up with one hand and finds his belt that he hung up last night.]

It’s a very vulnerable place to be.

[He threads his belt into the loops and tightens it. Daniil is no longer afflicted.]

How can I thank you? …And beg your discretion? I feel like I owe you some sort of explanation.

[numinousname]

[where Tristan is from, those assurances for vulnerable people - those doctoral oaths and paperwork - aren't really...in them. but there are values that seem to have been seeded long ago, before memory was lost, that had them quickly drawn to clerics and healers and their caregiving mindset.

not very comforting for someone coming from somewhere more structured, surely, let alone being in a very unique circumstance.

so Tristan tries to take their distress seriously, to not simply wave it off as needless.

they fold their hands in front of them and watch him for a moment.]

What kinds of things would make a thank-you seem fulfilling and secure? To you?