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un: twinArmageddons | text
[Approximately 22 hours after arriving in Pollux, any mission-going Etrayans gets notified of a new post on their internal network with an unfamiliar username. The post loads, refreshes itself randomly, and even displays strange screen effects sometimes when loading in.
there we go.
2o echo fiinally deciided two take piity on u2?
ble22 u2 wiith a round of 2aviior2?
or maybe a round of chucklefuck2.
about tiime eiither way, iit'2 been gettiing really me22y in here.
mo2tly becau2e of the corp2e2 and undead lmao.
anyway welcome two the 2hiit2how fellow clown2.
make 2ure two giive your no2e a 2queeze before enteriing.
that 2aiid ii’m puttiing my neck on the liine here by even po2tiing thii2 2o
let2 get 2eriiou2.
what’2 your plan, and how can "the re2ii2tance" help?
te2t te2t
there we go.
2o echo fiinally deciided two take piity on u2?
ble22 u2 wiith a round of 2aviior2?
or maybe a round of chucklefuck2.
about tiime eiither way, iit'2 been gettiing really me22y in here.
mo2tly becau2e of the corp2e2 and undead lmao.
anyway welcome two the 2hiit2how fellow clown2.
make 2ure two giive your no2e a 2queeze before enteriing.
that 2aiid ii’m puttiing my neck on the liine here by even po2tiing thii2 2o
let2 get 2eriiou2.
what’2 your plan, and how can "the re2ii2tance" help?
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Are you fucking serious? Well, congratulations, you're the first alien I've ever met.
I see. I don't care either way, so night is fine with me.
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liike a thou2and feet or 2omethiing 2tupiid liike that.liike a thou2and feet or 2omethiing 2tupiid liike that.
ii diidn’t have tiime two mea2ure hiim liike hey 2orry 2iir can ii get your mea2urement2 for your ma22iive dumptruck a22.
are YOU fuckiing 2eriiou2?
you’re iin a multiidiimen2iional prii2on wiith people pulled from every corner of realiity iimagiinable.
and you have never met an aliien before?
ii2 your bubble ciity racii2t or 2omethiing.
fiine.
between you and that no2y dr you have ii’ll vii2iit your 2afehou2e.
ii diidn’t have tiime two mea2ure hiim liike hey 2orry 2iir can ii get your mea2urement2 for your ma22iive dumptruck a22.
are YOU fuckiing 2eriiou2?
you’re iin a multiidiimen2iional prii2on wiith people pulled from every corner of realiity iimagiinable.
and you have never met an aliien before?
ii2 your bubble ciity racii2t or 2omethiing.
fiine.
between you and that no2y dr you have ii’ll vii2iit your 2afehou2e.
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[Obviously not, but the mental image is pretty funny to him!]
I think so. I've met demons and shit you'd find in a fantasy manga, but no actual aliens. I don't know what that says about Echo, maybe they have a bias.
Yeah? Good, saves me from having to put more effort into this. I'll have the food ready for you, in case everyone annoys you too much and you don't want to stick around.
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antii-aliien biia2 doe2 explaiin why ii never 2ee any other troll2 around.antii-aliien biia2 doe2 explaiin why ii never 2ee any other troll2 around.
lucky me.
thank2.
ii'm 2ollux, btw.
lucky me.
thank2.
ii'm 2ollux, btw.
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Accelerator. I didn't see any point in using a separate user name.
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what do you mean artiifiiciial e2per2?
ii2 that what you are?
real name2 aren't really iimportant anyway.
you could call me ta iif you don't want two wriite out 2ollux.
what do you mean artiifiiciial e2per2?
ii2 that what you are?
real name2 aren't really iimportant anyway.
you could call me ta iif you don't want two wriite out 2ollux.
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They really aren't.
I'm fine with Sollux, unless you have some big problem with it.
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oh cool.oh cool.
they found a way two giive human2 power2 iin your world?
niice.
on a 2cale of 1-10 how 2trong are you.
becau2e ii'm a 10.
no iit'2 ju2t a liittle criinge two be liike "hii ii'm 2ollux captor of pollux run by ca2tor."
liike ii'm 2ome fuckiing nur2ery rhyme for grub2.
they found a way two giive human2 power2 iin your world?
niice.
on a 2cale of 1-10 how 2trong are you.
becau2e ii'm a 10.
no iit'2 ju2t a liittle criinge two be liike "hii ii'm 2ollux captor of pollux run by ca2tor."
liike ii'm 2ome fuckiing nur2ery rhyme for grub2.
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Maybe Echo has a sense of humour, because that's fucking funny.
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you're the 2tronge2t one?
eheheheheh.
ok 2iick.
let'2 fiight.
after you heroe2 2ave the day that ii2.
iit'll be real quiick ii promii2e and al2o ii promii2e ii won't kiill you eiither.
2hut up.
iit'2 be liike iif you were called eurora atraya except even that doe2n't look a2 2tupiid a2 miine.
my name contiinue2 two be a co2miic joke two me per2onally.
you're the 2tronge2t one?
eheheheheh.
ok 2iick.
let'2 fiight.
after you heroe2 2ave the day that ii2.
iit'll be real quiick ii promii2e and al2o ii promii2e ii won't kiill you eiither.
2hut up.
iit'2 be liike iif you were called eurora atraya except even that doe2n't look a2 2tupiid a2 miine.
my name contiinue2 two be a co2miic joke two me per2onally.
no subject
So I guess
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do you know how many human p2ychiic2 ii actually get two meet? liike none. they're all wiizard2 or u2e magiic.
forgiive me iif ii want two 2ee what you can do.
yeah let me ju2t whiip that one out whenever 2omeone a2k2 me what my name ii2.
the ladiie2 wiill love iit when ii tell them they need a calculator two wriite iit properly.
[ But, admittedly, he does find the joke funny, so that's why he's not making fun of it more. ]
do you know how many human p2ychiic2 ii actually get two meet? liike none. they're all wiizard2 or u2e magiic.
forgiive me iif ii want two 2ee what you can do.
yeah let me ju2t whiip that one out whenever 2omeone a2k2 me what my name ii2.
the ladiie2 wiill love iit when ii tell them they need a calculator two wriite iit properly.
[ But, admittedly, he does find the joke funny, so that's why he's not making fun of it more. ]
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Well, what can you do? You sound like you've got a disdain for magic. Or you're at least tired of it.
Hey, anyone who can't appreciate a good equation isn't worth talking to.
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telekiine2ii2, optiic bla2t2, heariing the p2ychiic 2cream2 of the iimmiinently decea2ed.
and force-2leep but iit only work2 on tiiny bug2.
2o ii don't really u2e that one a lot.
yeah ii'm tiired of magiic.
every 2iingle tool out there pretendiing two be 2ome kiind of wiizard are all pompou2 nook2lurper2.
"oh ii channel the aura2 of the element2 of diirt and pii22 two make a tornado."
get over your2elf.
that'2 not true.
mo2t of my friiend2 ii had iin my world would not giive a flyiing fuck about math or number2.
ii'd giive a lot riight now two be able two talk two them agaiin.
telekiine2ii2, optiic bla2t2, heariing the p2ychiic 2cream2 of the iimmiinently decea2ed.
and force-2leep but iit only work2 on tiiny bug2.
2o ii don't really u2e that one a lot.
yeah ii'm tiired of magiic.
every 2iingle tool out there pretendiing two be 2ome kiind of wiizard are all pompou2 nook2lurper2.
"oh ii channel the aura2 of the element2 of diirt and pii22 two make a tornado."
get over your2elf.
that'2 not true.
mo2t of my friiend2 ii had iin my world would not giive a flyiing fuck about math or number2.
ii'd giive a lot riight now two be able two talk two them agaiin.
no subject
That's a hell of a lot, especially the imminently deceased shit. I've never heard of anyone being able to do that.
I've been told science and magic are different ends of the same spectrum. There may be some merit to that theory, but it's still easier to understand scientific equations than it is magical ones.
Echo never brought any of them here?
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yeah a2 far a2 ii know that'2 a 2peciifiic me thiing.
but iit'2 how ii knew when two hiide before the wor2t of thii2 2tarted two go down.
no one beliieved me of cour2e.
you want two hear 2omethiing 2tupiid.
there wa2 thii2 guy ii knew.
he loved magiic 2o much but everyone made fun of hiim for iit.
2o he made a bunch of fake wiizard 2hiit and pretended iit wa2 powered by 2ciience.
what a moron.
no.
ju2t been me my2elf and ii.
yeah a2 far a2 ii know that'2 a 2peciifiic me thiing.
but iit'2 how ii knew when two hiide before the wor2t of thii2 2tarted two go down.
no one beliieved me of cour2e.
you want two hear 2omethiing 2tupiid.
there wa2 thii2 guy ii knew.
he loved magiic 2o much but everyone made fun of hiim for iit.
2o he made a bunch of fake wiizard 2hiit and pretended iit wa2 powered by 2ciience.
what a moron.
no.
ju2t been me my2elf and ii.
no subject
Sounds cowardly. He should have tried giving less of a fuck.
That's rough. I haven't found anyone else from my home, either. It's good the younger kids aren't here but I shouldn't have been Echo's first pick, there were better options than me.
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everyone'2 alway2 "why are you iin 2uch a bad mood 2ollux?" and ii'm liike "well i ju2t had like 10 people who diied 2 miinute2 ago 2creamiing 'no no not liike thii2' iin my head."
ii thiink that get2 me a fuckiing pa22.
you have no iidea how cowardly.
man ii hate that guy.
platoniically.
better optiion2 than your planet'2 2tronge2t e2per?
everyone'2 alway2 "why are you iin 2uch a bad mood 2ollux?" and ii'm liike "well i ju2t had like 10 people who diied 2 miinute2 ago 2creamiing 'no no not liike thii2' iin my head."
ii thiink that get2 me a fuckiing pa22.
you have no iidea how cowardly.
man ii hate that guy.
platoniically.
better optiion2 than your planet'2 2tronge2t e2per?
no subject
[Wait, platonically?]
Since when is hating someone not platonic?
Yeah. Sometimes having an overwhelming amount of destructive power isn't the answer to a problem, as hard as that is to believe.
no subject
or when ii go bliind.
then ii'll be free.
oh god ok.
iit'2 a whole thiing.
apparently no human2 go through thii2, iit'2 ju2t a troll thiing.
ii have had two explaiin thii2 2o many tiime2 accelerator.
but the long and 2hort of iit ii2 that there ii2 more than one kiind of "romance" for troll2.
and one of tho2e romance2 ii2 ba2ed iin hate.
and iit'2 WAY overhyped iin my opiiniion.
iidk iit u2ually 2olve2 mo2t of my problem2.
ii mean iit al2o CAU2E2 mo2t of my problem2 two, but.
you were piicked becau2e you were the be2t choiice.
even iif you can't 2ee that.
or when ii go bliind.
then ii'll be free.
oh god ok.
iit'2 a whole thiing.
apparently no human2 go through thii2, iit'2 ju2t a troll thiing.
ii have had two explaiin thii2 2o many tiime2 accelerator.
but the long and 2hort of iit ii2 that there ii2 more than one kiind of "romance" for troll2.
and one of tho2e romance2 ii2 ba2ed iin hate.
and iit'2 WAY overhyped iin my opiiniion.
iidk iit u2ually 2olve2 mo2t of my problem2.
ii mean iit al2o CAU2E2 mo2t of my problem2 two, but.
you were piicked becau2e you were the be2t choiice.
even iif you can't 2ee that.
no subject
....
Are you fucking with me, or is that a real thing?
I'm not. It's complicated, but there's someone back home who is tailor made for this kind of bullshit. It would be unfair to put him in this position, he already deals with way too much bullshit, but he's more suited to saving universes than I am.
no subject
hey ii don't make the rule2.
that'2 prophecy.
when have ii ever fucked wiith you?
yeah and there'2 people ii know better suiited for thii2 than ii am.
aradiia wa2 liiterally a tiime traveler and can 2ummon other ver2iion2 of her2elf through variiou2 tiime2tream2.
karkat'2 ju2t better at organiiziing people and makiing a team effort than ii am.
terezii'2 able two naviigate what choiice2 need two be made two get the be2t re2ult.
even vrii2ka that fuckiing p2ycho freak ha2 her 2tupiid luck power2 and godtiierhood.
and even 2ome of the human2 have gone beyond my expectatiion2 of them.
ii'm ju2t liike, the guy who fiixe2 theiir computer2.
and complaiin2 about iit the whole tiime.
but ii'm here and they're not.
iit would be really weiird for me two be here and then for all of iit two mean nothiing.
2o clearly there'2 2omethiing ii'm 2uppo2ed two do.
and that appliie2 two you two.
hey ii don't make the rule2.
that'2 prophecy.
when have ii ever fucked wiith you?
yeah and there'2 people ii know better suiited for thii2 than ii am.
aradiia wa2 liiterally a tiime traveler and can 2ummon other ver2iion2 of her2elf through variiou2 tiime2tream2.
karkat'2 ju2t better at organiiziing people and makiing a team effort than ii am.
terezii'2 able two naviigate what choiice2 need two be made two get the be2t re2ult.
even vrii2ka that fuckiing p2ycho freak ha2 her 2tupiid luck power2 and godtiierhood.
and even 2ome of the human2 have gone beyond my expectatiion2 of them.
ii'm ju2t liike, the guy who fiixe2 theiir computer2.
and complaiin2 about iit the whole tiime.
but ii'm here and they're not.
iit would be really weiird for me two be here and then for all of iit two mean nothiing.
2o clearly there'2 2omethiing ii'm 2uppo2ed two do.
and that appliie2 two you two.
no subject
Fuck, I've known you for about five minutes. How the hell am I supposed to answer that?
[He doesn't understand some of that but he gets the jist. Ugh, he really shouldn't be complaining.]
That was a fucking rousing speech. That third string I was talking about probably would have said something similar, then punched me out for being so self-deprecating.
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yeah iit'2 hor2e 2hiit but iit'2 real 2hiit two.yeah iit'2 hor2e 2hiit but iit'2 real 2hiit two.
ii would have triied two fuck wiith you already iif i wanted two.
that'2 your an2wer.
THAT wa2 ROU2IING two you?
jegu2 chrii2t you mu2t be depre22ed.
more 2o than me.
ii would have triied two fuck wiith you already iif i wanted two.
that'2 your an2wer.
THAT wa2 ROU2IING two you?
jegu2 chrii2t you mu2t be depre22ed.
more 2o than me.
no subject
Okay, fine. You're not fucking with me, so you just hate this guy platonically instead of romantically.
Give yourself some credit. It wasn't that bad.
[He can't really argue with the depression thing so he just isn't going to touch it.]
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