Video | UN: Spidey

[keepitgoing]

[The easiest introduction in the world! Being that it's a, uh, re-introduction. Peter Parker Spider-Man has already confirmed he'd vanished for months — which is totally crazy, because he feels like he hasn't been gone all that long — but here he is! In all of his 'confused but has spirit' energy that had gotten him through his time in Etraya before.]

Hey guys, I'm back!

Just gone long enough to apply to, like, fifty barista and pizza guy jobs back home.

... Swinging around doesn't pay rent, y'know.

What'd I miss?

[He's perched on his tippy-toes, on top of one of the tallest buildings in Etraya.

As you do.]

Comments

[keepitgoing]

Any time, any place!

[Duking it out via competition is way more fun than fist-fighting a bad guy in a life or death situation. Friends are great like that!]

Have you two been doing okay?

[tinflower]

Yeah. Things were going bad for a while, but we're okay now. One of the missions got fucked with by a weird entity.

[ Weird entity creatures all around. ]

How about you? You don't have a job in... whatever you do? You could put on a cool show. You've got good moves.

[ Not that Fabian would ever like to hear Gorgug admit that! ]

[keepitgoing]

Probably won't be the last weird entity messing things up, either.

[That's just life at this point. Here or home, there's weirdness going on.]

I'm a superhero type, you know? We don't usually make money off helping the public. It's not exactly something you can put on a tax form, especially when secret identities are involved.

[tinflower]

Oh, you're one of those? [ Not said like one of those, at least. ] ...and you don't get paid?

...nothing? Not anything?

[ ??? ]

[keepitgoing]

... Nnno?

[He sounds so conflicted.

Is that a weird thing?

You're making it sound like a weird thing.]

[tinflower]

But you...do jobs that most services can't do, right? Like some big evil force threatening all life, or some life, or there's a missing crown that turns out to be a threat to all life if you don't find it in time...

[ He's just trying to make sure they're on the right page, here!! ]

[keepitgoing]

Well, yeah... I do that. A lot.

I was just a kid in high school when I started my gig as Spider-Man, and I guess I just... kinda... let it be a thing I don't get money for? It'd feel weird getting paid now, after all this time.

[tinflower]

You can think about it like...work experience? We do field work for credits at school. Sometimes we get paid, but, it depends on the job. But you could get a... bank, right? A superhero bank account?

[keepitgoing]

I think... a superhero bank account requires a normal civilian name back home.

...



Maybe I should carry a tip jar around.

[tinflower]

There's got to be a better way. Isn't there a bunch of you?

You need a...superhero union. [ ... ] With a superhero bank. So you can have a tip jar you don't have to carry around.

[keepitgoing]

Well... I had someone who used to look out for me, sometimes.

[He says it fondly... though the tone implies a fondness that usually comes with remembering someone no longer with them. It's moments like these that he can't help but miss Tony.]

He wasn't always so great at it, but he did his best... and he was definitely the kind of guy who would build a robot tip jar that followed you around, if you asked for it.

[tinflower]

[ Gorgug definitely picks up on the implication--that had is meaningful, after all. ]

Do you think it would work? Was he that good at robots?

[ Not to devalue the guy, but also--a robotic tip jar might run into some problems. Or this guy could be that cool that it would be inspiring. And Gorgug wants to know their power levels...! ]

[keepitgoing]

Oh, yeah. Tony could make anything. I was actually kinda friends with one of the artificial intelligences he created — Well, specifically for my old suit. That one got blown up by bad guys... Sometimes I miss talking to her, honestly.

[Just his life, man. Missing talking to people.]

But yeah, you know. He could make anything work. Even if it was just something like a machine that made sandwiches, I can guarantee it'd be the awesomest sandwich maker you'd ever seen.

[tinflower]

[ Whoaaaaa. With this being a video feed, Gorgug's raising eyes in awe can be seen. Artificial intelligence in a suit...!! ]

That's so cool. I want to make a talking suit and an awesome sandwich maker.

[ Imagine... imagine!! ]

Did your old suit look like the one you wear now? Was it more-- metal?

[keepitgoing]

Oh, it actually didn't look too much different from this one.

But I did also have the Iron Spider suit for a while! That was one super cool. I was falling to my death in the stratosphere and Mr. Stark was nice enough to deploy it, since it let me breathe in space. Pretty awesome, right?

[He hesitates, memory drifting into more recent memories.

Unpleasant ones.]

... Unfortunately, that one kinda got messed up recently, too.

Suits tend to do that.

[tinflower]

A lot of my shit breaks, too. [ It's said sympathetically, with a nod. ]

...can I touch your suit sometime? Do you know how-- where he fit in the mechanics for the AI? [ You know, if he had to look at him and guess... ] Was it just voice control? Maybe your ears, or-- your eyes?

[ Gorgug wants to ask deeper questions, but he's just--really curious!! ]

[keepitgoing]

Uh... You mean when I'm, like. Not in it, right?

[ ]

[tinflower]

Uh, is that-- is that okay? Is that allowed? I don't know how spider-people work...

[ /////!!!! ]

[keepitgoing]

Oh! No, I'm -- It's cool! I've just had people touch me in the streets before. Totally weird and awkward.

[Spider-Man is harassed sometimes! He has coped.]

But also, uh. I kinda can't let you see it without taking if off, so you might have to wait until I decide whether or not I'm gonna keep my identity under wraps...

[tinflower]

Okay, I mean-- I wouldn't tell anyone your identity, but, I'm a hundred percent interested in the fibre of your suit and how cool it actually is, and zero percent interested in your body.

[ ...

He looks aside. Slowly: ]

...five percent.

[ ((How spider is he!!!!!!)) ]

1/2

[keepitgoing]

[keepitgoing]

I don't have any spider anatomy.

[tinflower]

[ GRIMAACCIING IN THAT WAY WHERE HE'S NOT TRYING TO SHOW IT, AND YET-- ]

You promise?

[ Small indoor voice here. ]

[keepitgoing]

I... promise? I'm human-shaped from head to toe.

... I can't tell if you're happy to hear that or not.

[tinflower]

[ If it helps, there is an audible sigh of relief! ]

I am. Sorry-- bug people deserve to live lives too, but I, they--

...

...not near me.