un: kidomega | text

[querulus]

what's up girls gays and theys. before we head out on the most epic of fetch quests allow me to remind/inform you that your friendly neighborhood omega level telepath is available as a non-echo/aurora/whomstever the fuck monitored means of communication around these parts. those of you who may know sophie? i'm basically her but better in every way.

now. i know what you're thinking. no seriously i do. "who the hell is this guy and why should i trust him with my precious private brain thoughts? those are for me and my diary ONLY!!" valid question. allow me to supply my resume.
- avenger
- x-men 
- x-force
- last omega level mutant standing in this dump
in summary: big damn hero and op as fuck.

services i can provide:
- telepathic comms (obvi)
- remote monitoring of team member locations and statuses
- scanning for all thinking life-forms within a given radius 
- emergency contact for reinforcements/next of kin

pretty good deal, right? you bet your ass it is. okay okay, but where's the catch? what about rules? caveats? are there rules and are they reasonable? yes and yes.

my rules:
1. nobody whose name starts with "v". i'm biased and no i will not share why.
2. don't send me your spam. this is a professional line NOT a candy gram service.
3. i reserve the right to deny services for anyone whose brain stinks excessively. some of y'all are nasty.

okay peace out, hmu, like and subscribe 

- Quentin Quire 

ALSO if you're that little raccoon twerp who keeps popping up on the network to talk shit about how much you hate telepaths, DNI

Comments

[taxevasion]

Yes.

[querulus]

[bruh]

you are really determined to prove my point about v names aren't you

[taxevasion]

Oh fine, if you're going to be a whiner about it. The halloween party.

[querulus]

halloween?? oh yuck i didn't even look like me. at least spy on me when i'm not cosplaying a dude whose aesthetic is "gym bro but angrier"

[taxevasion]

You mean when you look more taffy pink?

[querulus]

it's a bit more of a fuchsia but yes

[taxevasion]

Equilateral move on the aesthetic field.

[querulus]

says the guy who mistakes taffy pink for fuchsia

this isn't some kind of "pink is a girl color" thing is it?

[taxevasion]

That's definitely one of the gayest things ever said to me.

Objectively, colors have no gender unless it's about birds, so no, that's not the joke.

You saying you dress better than Julian is.

[querulus]

you saying julian dresses well is the gayest thing anyone's ever said to me. you realize biceps don't count as fashion, right?

[yep ignoring all that other stuff.]

[taxevasion]

Your ego is insane if you think I was implying that meant either of you dress well.

[querulus]

i dress substantially better and that's an objective fact

[taxevasion]

Everyone look out, 'blazer and a t-shirt' guy coming through!

[querulus]

yes exactly. you think i wear what i wear to not get noticed?

[taxevasion]

Quick, what's the name of your bitcoin?

[querulus]

which one? i've made a killing off of memecoin rug pulls.

[taxevasion]

Oh, you're actually a bad person, not just dressed like one.

[querulus]

clearly you have not spent much time on r/wallstreetbets. i don't even have to use telepathy to scam those dorks

[taxevasion]

You're soooo lucky it's technically not illegal.

[querulus]

you say that like the legal fuzziness is a bug and not a feature. it's generally frowned upon for superheroes to commit overt crimes, you know.

[taxevasion]

Feels like that doesn't actually stop you though, does it?

[querulus]

hey dude i'm on the straight and narrow these days. put my wicked past behind me, turned over a new leaf. i'm one of the good guys, saving the world from nefarious crooks and devious supervillains. all that crap.

[taxevasion]

So you were a supervillain.

[querulus]

i was an angry kid with godlike superpowers and a bone to pick. i had a phase.

[taxevasion]

[Unfortunately, understandable. He's just about to let this go if Quentin passes his last test:]

Did any of it involve drug dealing, human trafficking, or prostitution?