un: Bachelor | text

[thantagonist]

Attention Fellow People of Etraya,

I am Doctor Daniil Dankovsky, Bachelor of Medicine. As I understand it, few of you have seen a doctor lately. That simply won’t do! Please, don’t wait to get sick to establish care. I am situated in the hospital, ready to take consent forms and make updated medical histories. At least a few of you have unaddressed concerns, I just know it. The average person comes to see the doctor when it’s too late! Though we cannot die here, there is no reason to suffer unduly.

And if you are otherwise healthy, perhaps think of it as helping me out. In the event of an outbreak, it is far more helpful to have complete clinical pictures of the inhabitants. Especially, as I understand it, there are many biological differences in this population.

Please come visit me during my clinic hours, every day from 10am to 6pm.


[What Daniil really wants is to meet more of the unusual inhabitants of Etraya more quickly as well as conduct casual interviews of the sort of people who are slated to save the universe. But he can’t just say that completely outright.]

Comments

[solarson]

is it bad where you're from?

[thantagonist]

While children ordinarily like stories about dead bodies, I don’t think your father would appreciate that very much from me.

Let us just say “Yes!” It is likely emphatically so much worse than anything you can think of.

[solarson]

sorry to hear that 😔

[thantagonist]

Thanks, kid. You run along before I anger your father, alright?

[He can easily be bullied into continuing a conversation.]

[solarson]

my dad’s a good guy and you’re not being rude or anything 🙂 maybe when the next chirper goes up you can talk a little more about yourself.

[thantagonist]

Chirpr? Forgive me. I’m likely a hundred years behind you in time. I’m not even sure how you’re putting these little pictograms in your text.

[solarson]

are you just old or do you come from like the olden days? 😮

[thantagonist]

I’m young. I’m 28. I’m just from 1920. Which from my point of view was the newest year I’d ever experienced.

[solarson]

wow this must all be really weird to you then 😮 are you from earth?

[thantagonist]

I am. So it is indeed. Are you from Earth as well? Born there, at least?

[solarson]

i was born on earth yep 🙂 my dad and my uncle weren’t though but they live on it. do you need help with anything here? like getting used to stuff?

[thantagonist]

Is this place really similar enough to what you’re used to to feel natural to you?

Then again, I feel like I’m looking at the stitched limbs of many different things here, turned into an awful chimera. Contexts that I don’t understand. Inventions well ahead of my time that I did not have the luxury of being gradually introduced to.

I’m not too proud to admit that I did unintentionally cause a small fire yesterday. The little metal boxes in the markets in the plaza. They’re meant to be some manner of oven, but they use electricity? With all those numbered buttons.

[He’s describing a microwave.]

Do you know what I’m talking about?

[solarson]

a microwave? yeah we have those back home. they're pretty nifty right? you can heat up your food without needing a stove. just be careful what you put in there and for how long.

as for this place, i mean aside from not being able to go out past the bubble, it feels pretty close to how things are back home.

[thantagonist]

[Daniil had gotten caught up with the “what” and “how long” portions of this equation with “tin of fish” and “ten minutes”.]

With so few people here? What sort of life did you lead before?

[solarson]

back home? just a pretty regular one i guess. you know, going to school and stuff. we used to live on a farm but then we moved to the city. i work on the farm here in etraya though.

Text | un: Superman

[sonofzod]

It’s not his father you should worry about angering.

[thantagonist]

Who then, you?

[sonofzod]

That's right. But there's no reason we can't be friendly. You want to try your needles on one of us? Try them on me.

[thantagonist]

[A terrifying double edge. ]

[Dankovsky? Call me Damocles.]

I appreciate your bid to volunteer. Are you physically different in some way that would make it possible from the other Superman?

[sonofzod]

No. They won't work. But if you want to see for yourself, I'm willing to let you.

[thantagonist]

Does your culture not have needles, scalpels… Are you unable to perform surgery or autopsy? Unable to cut a cord after birth?

[sonofzod]

I wouldn't know. My home planet was destroyed before I was born.

[thantagonist]

That seems beyond belief with invincible flying men guarding it. Is that information lost to you as well?

[sonofzod]

No, it was destroyed by one of their own.

[ His father. ]

[thantagonist]

How terrible… For what reason?

[They move irritatingly away from his point and purpose. But he was just told to be more patient… so he may as well.]

[Not that this line of questioning is particularly soothing.]