un: twinArmageddons | text

[p2iioniic]

[Approximately 22 hours after arriving in Pollux, any mission-going Etrayans gets notified of a new post on their internal network with an unfamiliar username. The post loads, refreshes itself randomly, and even displays strange screen effects sometimes when loading in.

te2t te2t

there we go.
2o echo fiinally deciided two take piity on u2?
ble22 u2 wiith a round of 2aviior2?
or maybe a round of chucklefuck2.
about tiime eiither way, iit'2 been gettiing really me22y in here.
mo2tly becau2e of the corp2e2 and undead lmao.
anyway welcome two the 2hiit2how fellow clown2.
make 2ure two giive your no2e a 2queeze before enteriing.

that 2aiid ii’m puttiing my neck on the liine here by even po2tiing thii2 2o
let2 get 2eriiou2.
what’2 your plan, and how can "the re2ii2tance" help?

Comments

[p2iioniic]

oh boo hoo they can cry me a riiver of red.

becau2e iit would only be a matter of tiime before echo would 2end iin a new group and a2 far a2 ii can tell, there was no plan 🐝 for when that happen2.
they are goiing two try and abduct you guy2, put you iintwo the 2ame weiird riitual2 they've put everyone el2e iintwo, and thiink they can get away with iit.

a22umiing they haven't broken iintwo your network liike ii have, that ii2.
who'2 your hacker? they 2hould run a check two make 2ure you haven't been pwned.

oh boo hoo they can cry me a riiver of red.

becau2e iit would only be a matter of tiime before echo would 2end iin a new group and a2 far a2 ii can tell, there was no plan 🐝 for when that happen2.
they are goiing two try and abduct you guy2, put you iintwo the 2ame weiird riitual2 they've put everyone el2e iintwo, and thiink they can get away with iit.

a22umiing they haven't broken iintwo your network liike ii have, that ii2.
who'2 your hacker? they 2hould run a check two make 2ure you haven't been pwned.

[levelshift]

[Well, whoever is causing trouble probably wouldn't be telling the Etrayans their plans over the network... so Accelerator is a little more inclined to think twinArmageddons is telling the truth about being part of whatever resistance exists.]

I can make sure he checks, assuming he hasn't already done so.

[Harold is Harold so that's likely.]

You're sounding less suspicious, anyways, so congratulations. We've got a fucking barebones plan that our AI Aurora arranged. It isn't much, and it doesn't take into account those abductions you mentioned, but it's better than nothing.

[p2iioniic]

not iin2piiriing a ton of confiidence with "barebone2" and "our AI arranged iit."
iidk iif iit’2 better than nothiing unle22 your plan ii2 al2o two diie.
the abductiion2 are pretty 2eriiou2.
no one who goe2 iin ha2 come back out except a2 a corp2e or enforcer.
wor2t part ii2 ii 2tiill don’t know who’2 even the riingma2ter here, two keep u2iing thii2 ciircu2 metaphor.

ii bet iit’2 2ome 2mug a22hole. iit’2 alway2 2ome “I’m two 2tep2 ahead of you the whole tiime” kiind of diip2hiit.

your be2t bet ii2 goiing two be 2peed. the le22 the riingma2ter know2 about you, the more card2 you have.

not iin2piiriing a ton of confiidence with “barebone2” and “our AI arranged iit.”
iidk iif iit’2 better than nothiing unle22 your plan ii2 al2o two diie.
the abductiion2 are pretty 2eriiou2.
no one who goe2 iin ha2 come back out except a2 a corp2e or enforcer.
wor2t part ii2 ii 2tiill don’t know who’2 even the riingma2ter here, two keep u2iing thii2 ciircu2 metaphor.

ii bet iit’2 2ome 2mug a22hole. iit’2 alway2 2ome "I’m two 2tep2 ahead of you the whole tiime" kiind of diip2hiit.

your be2t bet ii2 goiing two be 2peed. the le22 the riingma2ter know2 about you, the more card2 you have.

[levelshift]

I can't speak for anyone else, but I've personally got no interest in dying again.

So you don't know who's behind all of this? Your assumption sounds accurate, but it'd be helpful to put a name or a face to whoever this fucking asshole is.

We were given a new AI to install. If we can get to Castor's server room, we can get it set up. That should help, right? Or do you think we're going to have to find this bastard and beat the shit out of them, too?

[p2iioniic]

no clue but iif ii had two gue22 thii2 wa2n’t 2ome amateur.
de2piite how 2tupiid thii2 ha2 all been, iit’2 liike every part of thii2 ha2 been 2y2tematiically dii2abled in a way we couldn’t fiight back agaiin2t iin the long run.
even iif we held our own for longer than we diid, thii2 wa2 iineviitable.
and liike iin a moment of 2eriiou2ne22 and vulnerabiiliity ii don’t 2how often but liike whatever ii’m never 2eeiing you guy2 agaiin after thii2.
thank FUCK you guy2 2howed up becau2e ii’m runniing low on food.

iif you iin2tall the new aii, a22umiing iit doe2n’t fall prey two whatever got ca2tor’2 a22 turned analog, iit certaiinly can’t hurt.
iidk iif it’2 goiing two reviive the corp2e2 though.
iit’d be niice iif iit diid.
ii liiked 2ome of them.

no clue but iif ii had two gue22 thii2 wa2n’t 2ome amateur.
de2piite how 2tupiid thii2 ha2 all been, iit’2 liike every part of thii2 ha2 been 2y2tematiically dii2abled in a way we couldn’t fiight back agaiin2t iin the long run.
even iif we held our own for longer than we diid, thii2 wa2 iineviitable.
and liike iin a moment of 2eriiou2ne22 and vulnerabiiliity ii don’t 2how often but liike whatever ii’m never 2eeiing you guy2 agaiin after thii2.
thank FUCK you guy2 2howed up becau2e ii’m runniing low on food.

iif you iin2tall the new aii, a22umiing iit doe2n’t fall prey two whatever got ca2tor’2 a22 turned analog, iit certaiinly can’t hurt.
iidk iif it’2 goiing two reviive the corp2e2 though.
iit’d be niice iif iit diid.
ii liiked 2ome of them.

[levelshift]

Great, so we aren't just dealing with some smug asshole like you said. They're some conniving, sadistic smug asshole. That'll make this more difficult.

[He is letting out a biiiig tired sigh.]

Hm. [Yeah, he is in thorough agreement, thank fuck they're never seeing these people again, because the gratitude feels awkward. They haven't even done anything yet, they've only showed up.

......... He supposes this conversation is showing one easy win they can do to deserve that gratitude, though.]

We can get some food to you, that should be easy enough. Where are you?

[And if it's a trap then whatever, he gets to beat someone up.]

I don't know if it'll do that. Aurora didn't mention anything about resurrecting corpses. Echo usually does that, right? It isn't the purview of the AI.

[p2iioniic]

ah ah.
not telliing you where ii am.
iif you’re goiing two get me food, ii’ll tell you where you can drop iit off and ii’ll pick iit up later after you leave.

you’re 2ure about that? that no aii can do iit?
iif only echo can do iit then that mean2 he can’t come in here for whatever rea2on riight now, doe2n’t it?
pretty 2ure he wouldn’t want a 2tack of dead bodiie2 ju2t hangiing around, not doiing mii22iion2.
are bubble ciitiie2 actually out2iide hii2 iinfluence?
ii ju2t thought he thought he wa2 two 2elf-iimportant to handle thii2 hiim2elf 2o he 2ent iin the drone2.

ah ah.
not telliing you where ii am.
iif you’re goiing two get me food, ii’ll tell you where you can drop iit off and ii’ll pick iit up later after you leave.

you’re 2ure about that? that no aii can do iit?
iif only echo can do iit
then that mean2 he can’t come in here for whatever rea2on riight now, doe2n’t it?
pretty 2ure he wouldn’t want a 2tack of dead bodiie2 ju2t hangiing around, not doiing mii22iion2.
are bubble ciitiie2 actually out2iide hii2 iinfluence?
ii ju2t thought he thought he wa2 two 2elf-iimportant to handle thii2 hiim2elf 2o he 2ent iin the drone2.

[levelshift]

Fine, fine. I can agree to that. Just know that if this is an ambush I'm going to hunt you down and beat the shit out of you.

[Fair warning!]

As far as I know that's how it works. The AI are meant to be caretakers for us since Echo is busy trying to hold universes together, so they handle shit like making sure the bubble cities are livable. Echo handles the big picture stuff, creating the missions and resurrecting us when we die. Aurora told me they lose something whenever someone is brought back, so I don't think that's getting delegated to the AI.

I have no idea why Echo isn't bringing anyone here back. You're right, they brought you all here, so they should have some level of investment in making sure you do their missions.

[p2iioniic]

you thiink you can beat the 2hiit out of me?
that’2 riich.
iit’2 not an ambu2h though ii’m actually 2tarviing.
ii’ve got liike 4 more can2 of 2paghettiio2 left.

“makiing 2ure the bubble ciitiie2 are liivable”
what a load of 2hiit.
we are liike plant2 he forget2 two water.

when you iin2tall the new aii iit 2hould iimmediiately be liike red alert red alert we got problem2 here iin hou2ton, and tell echo two 2tart briingiing people back two liife.
and iif that doe2n’t happen.
then that mean2 we’re dealiing with a biig chee2e.

you thiink you can beat the 2hiit out of me?
that’2 riich.
iit’2 not an ambu2h though ii’m actually 2tarviing.
ii’ve got liike 4 more can2 of 2paghettiio2 left.

“makiing 2ure the bubble ciitiie2 are liivable”
what a load of 2hiit.
we are liike plant2 he forget2 two water.

when you iin2tall the new aii iit 2hould iimmediiately be liike red alert red alert we got problem2 here iin hou2ton, and tell echo two 2tart briingiing people back two liife.
and iif that doe2n’t happen.
then that mean2 we’re dealiing with a biig chee2e.

[levelshift]

I don't make threats I can't back up.
I'll see what I can scavenge, but what about the rest of this resistance? Aren't you all working together?

I'm not going to argue with you on that one, we had a previous mission rescuing some Polluxians from fairies because Castor fucking forgot about them. In general, Aurora's siblings seem to have responsibility issues.

Ugh, what a fucking pain. Someone should come up with a plan in case that happens.

[p2iioniic]

oo watch out we got a tough guy here.
the re2t of the re2ii2tance ii2 a jerkoff wiizard bu2y reciitiing one-liiner2 two hiim2elf, a normiie human doctor, 2ome giirl who 2howed up liiterally riight a2 thiing2 went down, and grace. needle22 two 2ay, ii’m not workiing agaiin2t them. but mo2tly not wiith them. except grace ii wiill help out grace iif 2he ever a2k2 for anythiing ii wiill drop everythiing ii am doiing. don’t tell her ii 2aiid that and iif you do ii wiill blow up your communiicator.

oh actually that’2 good two hear 2omeone went and piicked tho2e guy2 up.
ii wa2 liike hello? we are ju2t abandoniing them iin faiiry land? ok lmao.

ii2 thii2 a nebulou2 2omeone or do you have 2omeone iin miind.

oo watch out we got a tough guy here.
the re2t of the re2ii2tance ii2 a jerkoff wiizard bu2y reciitiing one-liiner2 two hiim2elf, a normiie human doctor, 2ome giirl who 2howed up liiterally riight a2 thiing2 went down, and grace. needle22 two 2ay, ii’m not workiing agaiin2t them. but mo2tly not wiith them. except grace ii wiill help out grace iif 2he ever a2k2 for anythiing ii wiill drop everythiing ii am doiing. don’t tell her ii 2aiid that and iif you do ii wiill blow up your communiicator.

oh actually that’2 good two hear 2omeone went and piicked tho2e guy2 up.
ii wa2 liike hello? we are ju2t abandoniing them iin faiiry land? ok lmao.

ii2 thii2 a nebulou2 2omeone or do you have 2omeone iin miind.

[levelshift]

I could say the same about you.

I won't say anything to her, but you should have made that private. There are a hell of a lot of nice Etrayans who are on this mission, so you're probably screwed.

Yeah. The whole thing was fucked up, wasn't it? I don't know how you can just forget about people.

Nebulous, really fucking nebulous. If this person can block out Echo they have to be really powerful, a god or something close. I don't know how many other people here have dealt with that kind of strength before.

[p2iioniic]

you 2tarted iit.

whatever. ii changed my miind. iit’2 fiine. iin fact ii WANT you two tell her. iin fact maybe ii’ll tell her my2elf.

two be faiir they mii22ed the bu2.
he wa2 liike “ok everyone all aboard” and they ju2t weren’t around.
you 2nooze, you get left behiind iin the faiiry diimen2iion for eterniity.
not the wor2t place you could be.

well you came two the riight place becau2e ii have.
helped kiill a god before ii mean.
ii can’t do iit alone though we would need like a dozen other people at lea2t half a2 bada22 a2 ii am.
of whiich there’2 ba2iically no one who even come2 clo2e here 2o we’re pretty 2crewed.

you 2tarted iit.

whatever. ii changed my miind. iit’2 fiine. iin fact ii WANT you two tell her. iin fact maybe ii’ll tell her my2elf.

two be faiir they mii22ed the bu2.
he wa2 liike “ok everyone all aboard” and they ju2t weren’t around.
you 2nooze, you get left behiind iin the faiiry diimen2iion for eterniity.
not the wor2t place you could be.

well you came two the riight place becau2e ii have.
helped kiill a god before ii mean.
ii can’t do iit alone though we would need like a dozen other people at lea2t half a2 bada22 a2 ii am.
of whiich there’2 ba2iically no one who even come2 clo2e here 2o we’re pretty 2crewed.

[levelshift]

At least it sounds like you aren't talking out of your ass. I've fought a good before too, so if it comes to that there's two of us.

[Which is better than zero?

These odds stink.]

Somehow I can't help being skeptical you'd say anything. Not that I care either way.

It wasn't the worst place to live, but I can't picture being stuck there long term. Their idea of coffee was horse shit.

[p2iioniic]

oh yeah?
tell me more about your god kiilliing.

the food 2ucked but ii’m u2ed two mo2t human food 2uckiing.
the flavor2 are 2o
miild?
liike where’2 the 2auce.
liiterally.

al2o liike maybe you 2eem kiind of cool 2o maybe ii could meet you iin per2on MAYBE.
you aren’t afraiid of the dark riight.

oh yeah?
tell me more about your god kiilliing.

the food 2ucked but ii’m u2ed two mo2t human food 2uckiing.
the flavor2 are 2o
miild?
liike where’2 the 2auce.
liiterally.

al2o liike maybe you 2eem kiind of cool 2o maybe ii could meet you iin per2on MAYBE.
you aren’t afraiid of the dark riight.

[levelshift]

I didn't kill her, just beat her in a fight. I had back up at the time too. None of them are here now, but at this point I'm not sure how much of their help I would need for a round 2.

'Human food'? That mean you aren't human?

I'm not that cool. And I'm not afraid of the dark, what's the got to do with anything?

[p2iioniic]

how biig wa2 2he?
liike buiildiing 2iized, or normal 2iized.

yeah ii’m a troll.
whiich apparently mean2 2omethiing el2e two human.
the clo2er word two what you would get ii2 aliien.

ii only leave when iit’2 dark out.
ea2iier on the eye2.

how biig wa2 2he?
liike buiildiing 2iized, or normal 2iized.

yeah ii’m a troll.
whiich apparently mean2 2omethiing el2e two human.
the clo2er word two what you would get ii2 aliien.

ii only leave when iit’2 dark out.
ea2iier on the eye2.

[levelshift]

Normal-sized. I never got around to asking, but it wouldn't surprise me if Magic Gods could choose their appearance. Why, how big was yours?

Are you fucking serious? Well, congratulations, you're the first alien I've ever met.

I see. I don't care either way, so night is fine with me.

[p2iioniic]

liike a thou2and feet or 2omethiing 2tupiid liike that.
ii diidn’t have tiime two mea2ure hiim liike hey 2orry 2iir can ii get your mea2urement2 for your ma22iive dumptruck a22.

are YOU fuckiing 2eriiou2?
you’re iin a multiidiimen2iional prii2on wiith people pulled from every corner of realiity iimagiinable.
and you have never met an aliien before?
ii2 your bubble ciity racii2t or 2omethiing.

fiine.
between you and that no2y dr you have ii’ll vii2iit your 2afehou2e.

liike a thou2and feet or 2omethiing 2tupiid liike that.
ii diidn’t have tiime two mea2ure hiim liike hey 2orry 2iir can ii get your mea2urement2 for your ma22iive dumptruck a22.

are YOU fuckiing 2eriiou2?
you’re iin a multiidiimen2iional prii2on wiith people pulled from every corner of realiity iimagiinable.
and you have never met an aliien before?
ii2 your bubble ciity racii2t or 2omethiing.

fiine.
between you and that no2y dr you have ii’ll vii2iit your 2afehou2e.

[levelshift]

I'm sure a bastard like that would have been gracious enough to answer if you worded it like that.

[Obviously not, but the mental image is pretty funny to him!]

I think so. I've met demons and shit you'd find in a fantasy manga, but no actual aliens. I don't know what that says about Echo, maybe they have a bias.

Yeah? Good, saves me from having to put more effort into this. I'll have the food ready for you, in case everyone annoys you too much and you don't want to stick around.

[p2iioniic]

antii-aliien biia2 doe2 explaiin why ii never 2ee any other troll2 around.
lucky me.

thank2.
ii'm 2ollux, btw.

antii-aliien biia2 doe2 explaiin why ii never 2ee any other troll2 around.
lucky me.

thank2.
ii'm 2ollux, btw.

[levelshift]

Sometimes Echo is just like that. I've never run across any other artificial espers.

Accelerator. I didn't see any point in using a separate user name.

[p2iioniic]

what do you mean artiifiiciial e2per2?
ii2 that what you are?

real name2 aren't really iimportant anyway.
you could call me ta iif you don't want two wriite out 2ollux.

what do you mean artiifiiciial e2per2?
ii2 that what you are?

real name2 aren't really iimportant anyway.
you could call me ta iif you don't want two wriite out 2ollux.

[levelshift]

Yeah. I'm a psychic human, but the 'psychic' part comes from medical procedures. I wasn't born with it.

They really aren't.

I'm fine with Sollux, unless you have some big problem with it.

[p2iioniic]

oh cool.
they found a way two giive human2 power2 iin your world?
niice.
on a 2cale of 1-10 how 2trong are you.
becau2e ii'm a 10.

no iit'2 ju2t a liittle criinge two be liike "hii ii'm 2ollux captor of pollux run by ca2tor."
liike ii'm 2ome fuckiing nur2ery rhyme for grub2.

oh cool.
they found a way two giive human2 power2 iin your world?
niice.
on a 2cale of 1-10 how 2trong are you.
becau2e ii'm a 10.

no iit'2 ju2t a liittle criinge two be liike "hii ii'm 2ollux captor of pollux run by ca2tor."
liike ii'm 2ome fuckiing nur2ery rhyme for grub2.