un:dp | video

[fourthwalled]

[Wade pops up on screen in all his scarred glory, looking very excited about something.] Alright, listen up motherfuckers! I have a very important announcement! Way more important than our next mission or who's banging who-- although you feel free to give me that hot goss if you've got it.

We have a new arrival. She's the bestest girl and I expect you all to give her all the treats and kisses she wants! Be fair warned, she uses tongue. A LOT OF IT.

[Wade brings a dog into screen. But not just any dog. A dog that is so ugly she's adorable. At least, to him, she is! Mostly hairless, a long ass tongue that won't stay in her mouth, and bulging eyes. And yes, she's wearing a Deadpool uniform.]

Meet Dogpool! Mary Puppins!

Comments

video. @wild.flower

[hasitsthorns]

[ The is the most ugdorable dog she's ever seen, yes. ]

Oh myyyyy gosh, she's so cute.

Does she do well with other dogs? I have one, so- I'm always looking for playmates for him!

[fourthwalled]

I don't know, I think so! She likes everyone and not a mean bone in her body. Although fair warning, I've seen what she does to stuffies, so she's definitely a humper.

She's a lady who demands to be in charge!

[hasitsthorns]

Well, hey, I can respect that! As a lady who also likes to be in charge, we'll probably get on just fine.

Smokey might take some getting used to but they can have a playdate? Despite looking like a cuddly sleep paralysis demon, he's just a pretty normal Borzoi.

[fourthwalled]

Both me and Mary know better than to judge anyone based on looks. So it's a date!

un: SquirrelPower

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Please tell Dogpool that I love her and that she's a very good girl!

[fourthwalled]

She knows it! But I'll tell her! [He gives the dog a kiss, who then proceeds to kiss him with her overly large tongue before his lips can even hit her cheek.]

Squirrel Girl loves you! And you're a very-- [Ack! Tongue, in the mouth and right down his throat. Good god.]

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

That's, uh... that's some impressive flexibility she's got there.

Also, you can call me Doreen, the whole 'secret identity' thing hasn't really been... um, a thing, for a little while.

[fourthwalled]

I still go by Deadpool, and everyone knows I was Wade from the start. [He's garbage at secret identities and never bothered.] So it's all about how you feel in the moment, right?

Sometimes you feel like a Doreen, sometimes you feel like Squirrel Girl?

un; Hob (video)

[100more]

That's.. your dog?

[ are we sure it's a dog? ]

You must be very happy to see her again. Did you request her or is her arrival a surprise?

[fourthwalled]

It is! Don't you see the resemblance?

[He lifts Mary Puppins closer to his scarred face, which she licks more.] Careful, Mary, that's my eyeball... I don't need that cleaned.

And I am very happy! I requested her from Aurora, and here she is! The bestest girl in the whole multiverse!

[100more]

I can see that she loves you very much.

[ Hob would not want her to lick him, though. ]

It's nice to have a companion from home. I'm happy for you.

[fourthwalled]

Thanks! It is nice. Do you have any pets? Maybe you could ask for one. Since you can't exactly ask for people to show up... although I guess I haven't tried that.

[He'd just assumed that wouldn't work.]

un @fiveinone

[sophielicious]

... okay

[fourthwalled]

Okay? OKAY?! Is that all you've got to say? This is very important news! LOOK AT HER!

[Wade holds Mary around the waist outward and closer to the screen so that her nose is nearly hitting the screen.]

[sophielicious]

imma ask aurora for some holy water

[fourthwalled]

[He switches to text too.]

Don't be like that. Rude. She just wants love and kisses, not your negativity.

un: firefist, text

[donfire]

She's adorable! looks like she's seen a lot of things too!

Congrats on getting her!

[fourthwalled]

[Firefist?]

Russell? Is that you, buddy?
I'm sure she has, yeah. Just like her dear ol' dad.

[She's a Pool. They've all been through the shit.]

[donfire]

no idea who Russell is!

Can I meet her any time?

....And you, I got to meet you too, in person, to see her.

text; un: hope

[futuremessiah]

I demand cuddles immediately
or better yet
the next night Sophie picks movies
distractions are needed

[fourthwalled]

Distraction from terrible movies?
Or the crippling pressure of having your entire universe resting on your shoulders?

[futuremessiah]

yes

UN: LethalProtector

[decodex]

You know dogs are, like
A lot of responsibility...

[fourthwalled]

Hey, what's that supposed to mean???
I can take care of her!

[decodex]

I mean, have you ever had a pet before?

Just asking.