un: Bachelor | text

[thantagonist]

Attention Fellow People of Etraya,

I am Doctor Daniil Dankovsky, Bachelor of Medicine. As I understand it, few of you have seen a doctor lately. That simply won’t do! Please, don’t wait to get sick to establish care. I am situated in the hospital, ready to take consent forms and make updated medical histories. At least a few of you have unaddressed concerns, I just know it. The average person comes to see the doctor when it’s too late! Though we cannot die here, there is no reason to suffer unduly.

And if you are otherwise healthy, perhaps think of it as helping me out. In the event of an outbreak, it is far more helpful to have complete clinical pictures of the inhabitants. Especially, as I understand it, there are many biological differences in this population.

Please come visit me during my clinic hours, every day from 10am to 6pm.


[What Daniil really wants is to meet more of the unusual inhabitants of Etraya more quickly as well as conduct casual interviews of the sort of people who are slated to save the universe. But he can’t just say that completely outright.]

Comments

text, un: superman2

[newsbeat]

It's nice to have more healthcare professionals. Thanks for bringing this to everyone's attention, Doctor.

[thantagonist]

My pleasure. But I won’t let you skip by with graciousness and compliments alone. Do visit… “Superman 2”?

[newsbeat]

Yeah, my brother's been here longer and picked 'Superman' first, the '2' was an auto-addition I never bothered to change.

[thantagonist]

Perhaps you are the one I have heard of. Are you able to fly?

[God he hopes Romano wasn’t fucking with him. He even feels foolish typing it.]

[newsbeat]

Oh? Someone been talking about me?

[Clark's pretty used to people having heard of him, but mainly back in Metropolis, where he stands out a little more.]

I can, yeah.

[thantagonist]

So you confirm it. Is flying really so mundane to you that you’d be surprised that you’re talked about? I wore an eccentric colored tie to work one day and I heard about it for weeks. Nevermind.

Are you occupied with something currently? Why don’t you fly over here and we can begin?

[newsbeat]

No, it's not. I don't take it for granted. But I've been here a while, and there are much more notable things I'd expect people to talk about more.

Pardon me? Begin with what?

[thantagonist]

For example?

[You can’t just leave him hanging! More notable things than a flying man? Daniil can barely imagine something that would send the newspaper into more of an uproar.]

The very thing you were thanking me for. The exam, of course, as well as the patient history and the consent forms.

[newsbeat]

Being pulled through the multiverse and sent on missions into other realities has always been pretty notable to me.

[Maybe that's too obvious. Maybe it's a forest-for-the-trees situation.]

Oh, I'm good. I'm very glad to see more medical options available here in general, but I don't have any health problems.

[thantagonist]

Yes, and as I said, even if you are healthy it is important to establish baselines and a history. What if you fall ill while Aurora is offline? What if you need medical care while in another reality on a mission? What if there’s a plague and your uniquely healthy super body could allow me to create a vaccine?

I would really prefer that the first time I need to draw your blood I’m not also fumbling with your drug allergies. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

[newsbeat]

I don't get sick, ever. I can't, really.

[Minus his rock allergy.]

Also, you wouldn't be able to do that.

[thantagonist]

What, you don’t have blood?

[newsbeat]

I have blood. But your needle would break.

[thantagonist]

Your skin breaks needles. Forgive me if I feel as though I need to see it to believe it.

So what, you’ve never bled before from your impenetrable skin?

[newsbeat]

You're gonna have to talk my word for it. Or not, it's up to you.

It takes a lot more than any normal person is capable of making happen.

[thantagonist]

Ah yes, the foundation of all excellent science. “Take my word for it.”

Very well. So why are so impervious?

[newsbeat]

Like I said, you don't have to. But I don't feel the need to prove anything.

Because I'm not human.

[thantagonist]

Doctor Romano said you wear tights. He should have led that that instead, I think. So what are you, some manner of god? It would explain the disdain for providing proof for your claims.

[newsbeat]

Really? That's your takeaway?
I don't think we have anything to talk about.

text. un: superboy

[solarson]

what's wrong with wearing tights?

[thantagonist]

Nothing. It was just mentioned to me. I don’t care if someone wears tights. The flying and impervious to needles part is far more interesting.

Superboy. Are you this man’s son? Protege? Just the same species? Clearly a tights wearer.

[solarson]

he's my dad 👍

[thantagonist]

Interesting. How old are you? Will your father take issue with you talking to me?

[The last thing he needs is an impervious God man coming to cave his ribcage in.]

[solarson]

i'm eleven and as long as you're not being rude i don't see why he would.

[thantagonist]

I wasn’t even trying to be rude to your father! One moment he was thanking me for my service, the next he’s repulsed by the very idea! Drawing blood is an utterly normal activity.

Unless maybe it’s culturally offensive? Does that offend you?

If the answer is yes, don’t even reply. I don’t need you flying back to him telling him the scary doctor is trying to bleed you. I’ve had enough for one day without offending gods in tights.