un: romano | text

[badlydisarmed]

I have one question and one important announcement.

The question:

Do you pull the lever?

As for the announcement, the hospital now has a wing to treat magical maladies. Witch doctors and the like are welcome to come check it out. People with magical maladies also welcome to come get treated, I don't know how any of this shit works.

Comments

un: JossSweden | text

[odinpusrex]

[Honestly, should he even respond to this? Rewarding such attention seeking behavior is not wise. However, he has an interest in the latter half of the message, so maybe he will simply ignore that ridiculous "question".]

Aught specific inspire this addition?

[badlydisarmed]

Been thinking a lot about what I'd be willing to sacrifice to get that stupid thing to go a little faster.

text | un: bahamut

[oblige]

That is not his name.

[ Look, it's the pedantry dragon! Anyway— ]

What manner of "magical maladies" do you refer to?

[badlydisarmed]

It's the name he chooses to go by. I'm very respectful of such things, the last mission taught me about deadnames. Against my will, but still.

And I have no idea, the machines come with manuals in various languages and I can't ready any of it. The bots seem to know, though. Why? Got a magic disease you want treated?

Text; un: Wolfman

[will_chase_balls]

I'd say that deliberately running over someone with a trolly for convenience is wrong, so no, I wouldn't pull the lever. I know this thing isn't as fast as a broomstick and they definitely need to put more lightning runes on the tracks to make it run better, but it's faster than walking, at least. And it's more time for us to talk to each other and make new friends!

Also, look! I'm learning to use this device better since the last time I messaged you and I figured out I can change my user name! I've also discovered something called the 'shift' key, which has been very handy.

[badlydisarmed]

Congratulations, you're doing so much better already.

There was a woman giving out plush toys at the hospital, you'd probably like one.

text 🏹un: Mistress_Vex

[usedhuntersmark]

Who is this Joss Sweden? Did he kill your puppy?

As for magical healing, I suppose I should check out your hospital. I could help a bit.

[badlydisarmed]

He gave me shit one time for defecting from an evil dictatorship. But I'm not even mad about it anymore, it's just fun.

You're a newcomer?

un: SquirrelPower

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Trick question, I stop the trolley before it has a chance to hit anybody, mannequin or otherwise!

Also, who is this Joss Sweden guy? What'd he do to deserve getting tied to the train tracks, did he tick off an olde-timey silent movie villain?

(Also also, great news about the magic stuff at the hospital! :D)

[badlydisarmed]

You're not engaging with the premise of the problem. The trolley needs to roll over Joss Sweden to gain speed.

I need to grow out my mustache more to be a proper old time villain, I already got the mad scientist look going for me.

(The manuals for most of the machines are in arcane languages I can't read, but the bots are working on it.)

un: CliveRosfield | Text

[herofhopeless]

Oh he would definitely survive. The trolley might not, though.

[The laugh this got out of him... oh boy, he needed that.]

So, what did Barnabas do to you to get you to want to run him over with a trolley?

[badlydisarmed]

I never said I WANTED to run him over with a trolley. I'm only posing a question. WOULD we run him over with a trolley to get the trolley to go faster?

I would no questions asked, but only because I know he would be happy to get run over by a trolley for the good of the many.

[hauntedsnowfall]

Could we not untie Joss Sweden before the trolly gets there? It's speed isn't what I would call threatening at the moment. Or is his presence necessary for the increase in speed?

[badlydisarmed]

In this hypothetical, it is absolutely essential that Joss Sweden is run over for the trolley to gain speed.

un: dailyplanet

[thisisontherecord]

1. Dictatorship pocket universe city that Joss Sweden mocks you for defecting from. Did they ever mention anything like Echo over there?

2. How frequent have magical maladies been to date?

[badlydisarmed]

1. Echo runs both cities. Pyramid scheme, Echo on top, then a bunch on AIs like Aurora, then bubble cities like ours. Aurora's sibling is in charge of the other city now.

2. Unsure, I'm not a magical doctor, I'm a normal surgeon from 2003.

[sophielicious]

didn't even know the hospital was used as a hospital not as a multiverse dumping ground

cool to know.

[badlydisarmed]

It's pretty quiet outside of arrivals.

un: crusher | text

[fieldtrip]

this is ableism I'm blind and can't see your picture

audio

[badlydisarmed]

I'm unbelievably thrilled to tell you I planned for this exact situation and wrote a text description of the image for the computer to read out loud to you.

( text )

[kryptonix]

Who the heck is Joss Sweden.

[badlydisarmed]

A close friend who's totally in on the joke.

un: plushiesidequest

[reincarnesiac]

( the real sad question is how many time will she make some variation on plushie be her username )

For a full thirty seconds I wondered if you asked the bots this first and that's how we ended up with the strong-man bot pushing the trolley from behind instead.

Think energy cores embedded in hearts would count as a magical malady here?

[badlydisarmed]

I will neither confirm nor deny whether I did.

And I'm gonna need more info, but hunch says yes.

un: terrible_tinkerer

[badnewsandshitlist]

I refuse the premise. Trolleys are abominations- faceless, horseless contraptions rattling along without dignity. Hand me the lever and I’d sooner derail the whole miserable thing than dignify the exercise.

But, if we must: five effigies are not lives. One egotist who survives and leaves us a faster machine is, at last, mathematics serving justice. Pull the lever and be done with it.

As for your new hospital wing- commendable. Only be sure the wards are well-ventilated before the hedge-witches begin boiling their cures. Otherwise, you’ll be treating smoke inhalation before hexes.

[badlydisarmed]

Do you object to all horseless means of transport or just trolleys?

I don't think we have any hedge-witches, but I'll keep it in mind if I see any cauldrons. Thank you for your contribution.

[ un: Sleepnear // text ]

[quibblingfunctionary]

Think you capable of subduing His Majesty?/font>

[badlydisarmed]

Weird question. Is His Majesty a cat? I could maybe subdue a cat, but only a middle-sized one. Anything Maine Coon-sized or larger would beat me easily.